You Only Love Twice (Masters and Mercenaries #8)(57)

His hips twisted, grinding down on her clit just as he stroked deep inside. Phoebe went right over the edge again, crying out and calling his name this time.

Jesse’s body tightened and he held himself still, his chest hitching as he dragged air in. He relaxed finally and rolled to his side. He reached out and put a hand on her belly. “I’m crazy about you, Phoebe. I could love you if you let me. This could be good between us. You don’t have to go back to Virginia.”

The words sank in. Virginia. Home. Where she and Jamie lived, except Jamie wasn’t alive anymore.

She’d just slept with a man who wasn’t her husband. Shame flashed through her system. She sat up. “I need a minute.”

“Phoebe?”

She didn’t look back. She ran to the bathroom and shut the door, her insides turning. She’d made love to someone who wasn’t Jamie. They were supposed to be forever. She’d taken vows. She’d made promises.

She closed her eyes. She did it all the time. She closed her eyes and summoned up a picture of Jamie in her head, except she couldn’t quite see him this time.

She’d given herself to another man and then thought about how much better the sex was. How could she do that? How could she even think it?

She looked at herself in the mirror and didn’t recognize the woman staring back. She wasn’t the controlled and contained woman she’d become under Franklin Grant’s tutelage. She wasn’t Jamie’s wife. This was Jesse’s lover, his sub.

She wasn’t ready. She couldn’t let go.

Tears rolled and she let herself slide to the floor, feeling further from both of them than she could have imagined.





CHAPTER TEN





Jesse couldn’t even look at her. It hurt too much. He knew the minute she walked in the conference room. It was like his body had an active radar where she was concerned. How long would it take before he couldn’t feel her under him? Before he couldn’t taste her on his tongue? He feared he might die remembering what it felt like to make love to Phoebe Grant.

And he remembered what it felt like to hear her crying in the bathroom, a locked door between them.

Despite his promise to Ian, he’d slept in Kai’s room the night before, ceding the guest room to Phoebe so she wouldn’t spend all night in the bathroom.

He hadn’t seen her all morning. She hadn’t come to the kitchen for coffee or breakfast. He’d knocked on her door when Tag texted him to come to the conference room and he’d been told she’d meet him there.

It was like nothing had happened between them at all.

“Tell me you have something.” He was careful not to look her way. If she was crying again, he wouldn’t be able to take it. Listening to her cry the night before and not being able to do anything about it had made him feel like a criminal, like he’d stolen something from her when all he’d wanted to do was give.

She was still in love with her husband. Last night had proven there was no place in her heart for him.

Big Tag sat back, his eyes going between them like he was trying to figure something out. Ten watched him, too. He had the sudden urge to walk out before they both knew just how much he’d f*cked up. “We don’t have as much as we wish we did, but I think we’re getting closer.”

“We need to get this thing done. I can’t keep the team here in Dallas for much longer,” Ten admitted. “I don’t want to take this team out into the field unless I’m sure we’re solid. We’re supposed to be in Dubai in a week for some energy conference. We’re gathering intel on some of the new players.”

Tag nodded. “Yeah, we’re running security for one of the smaller countries attending. Jesse’s supposed to go, but I think I’ll have to send Alex instead.”

They were working for the king of a small country named Loa Mali. Big Tag had met Kashmir Kamdar when he’d worked an op in India. The country was putting an enormous amount of their money and workforce into sustainable energy. Though they were small, the king still required a security detail, and he’d offered McKay-Taggart the job fully knowing they would also have their own mission while there.

“You can’t do that,” Jesse argued. “He just had a kid.”

Tag’s eyes flared. “Well, they’ve all just had kids. I swear this team breeds faster than horny rabbits. I promised Kash I would send at least four of us. Erin and Simon and Li are going. I need one more. I can’t send Adam. I need him here solving this problem. So I’m down to Alex or Jake. Jake is a whiny bitch about out of country assignments since Princess Serena gifted the world with his son. Alex just met his little poop machine. How attached could he be?”

“God, I love you, Tag. You make me look sensitive,” Ten shot back.

Tag and Ten started in on each other and Jesse wondered how much more he could seriously f*ck up. He was supposed to be on that detail. He’d been prepping for the assignment for a month. He’d been looking over the profiles Adam sent him and memorizing the power players. Though he was mainly there as muscle, Tag wanted the team to investigate some of the CEOs of the energy corporations for possible Collective ties. The shadowy group had been quiet since losing their head bad dude a couple of months back, but Jesse had no doubt they would come back with guns blazing at some point.