You Only Love Twice (Masters and Mercenaries #8)(52)

Just one night. Just one place. It was unreal, like a few hours that would only really exist in a dream. She could be his for a little while. For a few moments, she could find that safe place Charlotte had talked about. It wouldn’t be a betrayal of James. It was just a momentary vacation from reality. “Yes.”

He pulled her close and his hands went to the back of her corset. “Ian, could you give me a knife?”

Before she knew what was happening, she felt pressure as the corset pulled tight and then blessed relief as it completely let go. She hadn’t realized how tight it had been, how hard it was to breathe. Oh, and she definitely hadn’t known how good the cool air would feel on her skin. Jesse pulled the corset apart and her spine tingled with the delicious chill.

But only for a moment because the chill was replaced with the heat of those big hands rubbing over her body. As soon as Jesse handed the corset and knife to Ian, he immediately ran his hands down the line of her spine. His head turned down, his eyes going right to her breasts.

Her nipples perked up and no matter what Charlotte had said about this scene being impersonal, she was wrong. Taggart might be wielding the flogger, but this scene was really about her and Jesse, and there was nothing impersonal about that. He’d never seen her breasts before, but she couldn’t hide them again when he was so obviously enjoying the view. His eyes were hot on her skin and he pulled on her hips, bringing her into contact with his lower body.

Yes. He liked her breasts quite a bit. His erection pressed against her belly. The few times that had happened, he’d shied away, but not this time. This time he looked right at her, confidence evident in the way he held himself. “Yeah, that’s for you. That’s what you do to me.”

Desire was a drug thrumming through her system, making the whole world seem softer than it had before, slightly unreal. She didn’t argue when he gently turned her, his hands going to her hips as he displayed her to the crowd.

Crap. She was an exhibitionist. There was no way to fool herself. She was hot and bothered and it was mostly about the fact that Jesse’s hands were on her, but she had to admit, she liked being half naked in front of the crowd. She should be shrinking back, covering up.

Why? Why should she? Because someone told her she should? Charlotte was right. This place was safe.

“I have a beautiful sub, Master Ian,” Jesse said. “I like showing her off.”

“She is lovely, Master Jesse.” Ian Taggart was looking at her breasts, but with an almost clinical detachment. “You’re a lucky man. Now let’s see if we can get her to relax.”

He turned and began showing off the floggers he held, explaining what they were made of and how important it was that they be properly matched and weighted for Florentine flogging. Jesse led her back to the cross as Taggart continued his lecture. She heard his voice but her focus was on Jesse’s hands, his body, as he shrugged out of his vest and all she could see was his beautifully muscled chest. He placed his back toward the cross and spread his legs wide, boots solid against the floor.

“Stand on my feet. It will put you in the proper position.”

“I’m heavy.” It would seem odd to be so close to him, almost dependent on him.

“None of that. I don’t want to have to stop the scene and spank you.”

He would do just that. She could see that this was a different Jesse, and she found him fascinating. She stepped up, placing her bare feet on top of his boots. His hands found her waist, balancing her. It was easy to let her chest rest against his. Her breasts against his chest, her legs rubbing the leather pants that covered his body. Warmth immediately suffused her and her skin felt alive. She turned her face and allowed herself to really study him for the first time. She’d pushed him away too many times because she thought she should. Now she took in the planes of his face, the way his jaw squared. His lips were sensual, big and so kissable she wanted to run her tongue across them. His blond hair was too short. If he was hers, she’d get him to grow it out so it was thick and wavy and she could sink her fingers into it. Blue eyes stared down at her, so serious.

“Relax. I’ll be able to feel your reactions. I’ll be watching you.”

He would take care of her. She wouldn’t be alone for a moment.

She laid her head against his shoulder.

A sexy beat began, spilling from the speakers that dotted the club. She heard Ian explain that it was helpful to keep a beat.

“He’s going to start now. He’s going to be easy at first.”

She couldn’t help it. She tensed up, but Jesse was right there, whispering in her ear. “It’s all right. It’s going to be good. You can stop at any moment.”

But it occurred to her that she’d been stopping far too often. She’d been screaming a safe word at the universe for years, and she wasn’t safer or happier for it. She was just lonely and afraid.

She had a choice and she chose to lay her head back down, to trust Jesse and the very man who should hate her. She had to trust Taggart or go back to her room and cling to her side of the bed because she was too guilty and afraid to lie in Jesse’s arms.

The first thud hit her shoulder, a little whisper across her skin. It was followed by a twin caress on her opposite side. It wasn’t bad. It was nice, a brushing of soft falls over her flesh.

She opened her senses, allowing touch and sound to rule. So often she lived only in her head, ignoring her body like it was secondary and somewhat useless in comparison. She chose intellect over everything else, but now she allowed herself to simply feel, to hear without questioning.