You Only Love Twice (Masters and Mercenaries #8)(107)

“Hey.” Ten sat in the suite’s shared living area, staring down at his computer. “I was wondering if I was going to have to wake you up. My flight’s in two hours.”

“I have to talk to you about that.”

His face came up, an affectionate smile belying the weariness she saw there. “I said my flight, sis. I know you’re not going to be on it. I knew it the minute he kicked in that door. Well, and when the screams started. You could spare me those. Please.”

She felt herself blush. “Sorry.”

He gave her a wan grin. “You tell that boy he better take care of you or he’ll answer to me.”

Relief washed over her. At least she didn’t have to convince Ten. “I love him.”

Ten closed his laptop and stood up. “I’m so glad. I’m glad you found your way out.” He closed the space between them and enveloped her in one of his big, all-encompassing hugs. “I’m going to miss working with you, but I expect to be invited to all your very normal holiday celebrations. Well, normal if Taggart doesn’t show up.”

She held on to the man who’d been her brother for half her life now. When she thought about it, he’d always been her brother. They just had to find their way to each other. Family was like that sometimes. “You have to promise you’ll come and visit us often.”

He squeezed her tight. “I promise I’ll try. Hell, darlin’, I might be sleeping on your couch soon.”

Because he wasn’t certain of his job. She was scared about that too. “I think we could find you a spare bedroom.”

He kissed the top of her head and then moved away, sitting back down and crossing one leg over the other. He hadn’t changed clothes. He was still in his usual uniform. Black T-shirt, jeans, and boots. “I’m sure Murdoch would love having a roommate. I’m putting him on a clock, by the way. He’s got a year to ask you to marry him.”

“He already did.”

“Damn. That boy works fast. You say yes?”

She nodded. “I did. I know it’s quick and…”

He held out a hand. “No need to explain. Life is short, baby girl. You take every little piece of happiness you can get. I’m happy for you. Jamie would have liked Jesse.”

“He did.” She bit back tears again. Now that she’d opened the floodgates, they didn’t seem to want to stop, but they felt different now. They were somehow sweeter, almost a reminder that she’d been loved and was loved again. As if grief itself was a way to remember the sweetness of life, to magnify and celebrate it. “Apparently they became friends in jail. You do understand what happened, right?”

“Yeah. I’ve thought about it for a long time. The Caliph was looking to turn an operative. He got Jesse instead. Jamie couldn’t have known.”

“Even if he had, he couldn’t risk it. Jesse knows that, too.” Her almost husband was a remarkable man. His ability to love and find some way to move forward had taught her so much. “Jamie asked him to give me a message. Be the girl who lived. It’s silly because it’s from a book, but it means something to me, a little more than what I told Jesse. I think Jamie meant it for you, too, Tennessee.”

“I didn’t read that stuff you did.”

“It doesn’t matter. It’s the same message. Love can save you if you let it. It can put up a wall that protects you, but you still have to face it. The truth is bad shit is going to happen and there’s nothing we can do about it. How we deal with it, that’s the measure of our lives. Do we roll into a ball and hide like I did? Or do we open ourselves, even knowing how much it could hurt if we lose it? I’m going to open myself. I’m going to love that man with everything I have, and if something goes wrong, at least I’ll have had that love. I am grateful for every second I had with Jamie. Every moment was precious, and now I’m going to honor him by living. I want to have babies, Ten.”

She could have sworn her brother’s eyes got misty. “I want that for you more than anything.”

“I want you to have a family, too.”

“I always knew that wasn’t the way it was going to go.”

“Why?”

“I wouldn’t even know how to be a father. I’m not built like that.”

“You are. We all are.” She backed off a little. Her brother would be a long-term project. “How about you try dating? I bet Charlotte Taggart could find someone to set you up with.”

His eyes widened. “That is the meanest thing you’ve ever said to me. Don’t put that woman on me. She doesn’t give up.”

Sweet laughter bubbled up at the thought of Charlotte playing matchmaker. “I promise nothing.”

He sobered, leaning back and running a hand over his head. “I’ll smooth things over with the Agency for you. You have to know though that I don’t have the pull I used to have. We’ve opened a mighty big can of worms here. You and Murdoch need to watch your backs.”

“We’re not leaving. We have to figure this thing out or we’ll be looking behind us for the rest of our lives. I don’t imagine this guy is going to give up. There’s more at stake here than simply his identity.”

“There’s the identity of whoever he’s working with,” Ten agreed. “I’m waiting on Chelsea to get back to me with Ace’s files and the name of who recommended him. It’s going to take some patience. Apparently they wiped his files when he died. She swears nothing is ever really gone. I have to hope she and Adam can figure it out.”