You Only Love Twice (Masters and Mercenaries #8)(106)

She stared at him for a moment. “Have you heard a word I’ve said?”

“Yes. Is that all?”

“Isn’t it enough? Jesse, I’m the reason you were tortured.”

He managed to stifle a sigh. “No. The Caliph is the reason I was tortured. You merely did your job. Am I surprised? Yes, and for reasons you’ll understand in a moment, but I told you. It doesn’t matter. I love you. I’m standing by you.”

“Why?”

“Because he gave you to me. Because I’ve searched and searched for one good thing to come out of this, for the f*cking universe to give me a goddamn break, and I found it. It was always you, Phoebe. I went through hell but it led me to my family and it led me to my wife. I would do it all over again.”

“I don’t understand.”

“It’s my turn to talk and I’m going to tell you something I haven’t told another soul.”

She shook her head. “Jesse, I can’t.”

“You can because I have a message for you. One man who loved you, he gave a message to another man—a man who would come to love you.”

“Jamie? Jamie talked to you? I don’t know if I want to know. Did he hate me for sending him there?”

“Oh, he loved you. He was in the cell next to mine and he talked about his wife and brother. He never told me your name. Always just called you his wife or his love. He wasn’t angry at the end, Phoebe. He tried to keep my spirits up. He told me his brother would find us. I thought he was a little crazy at that point. Now I know he was talking about Ten.”

“We tried.”

“Hush, he knew. He knew you and Ten were out there. He knew you wouldn’t give up. Phoebe, the night he died he gave me a message. He was out of it. Broken, but he said one thing. God, I wish I’d thought about it for two seconds. You showed me those movies and now I understand. Those books, they were your shorthand, right?”

“What?”

“He told me to find you for him and give you one message. Be the girl who lived. He said it over and over, like a mantra. Be the girl who lived. Harry Potter was the boy who lived, right?”

“Yes. He lived because his mother loved him so much she protected him from real evil.”

“He loved you and he might not have known it at the time, but he sent me to love you, too. I know that because the last words that man said to me were take care of my girl. I thought he meant to find you, make sure you were safe, and maybe that was all he meant, but that wasn’t what happened.” He stepped up to her, knowing in his heart what Jamie Grant wanted for his wife. He knew because he loved her, too, and if he’d been the other man, he would have wanted the same thing. “He wants you to live, Phoebe, and not in some half-assed, waiting to see him again way. He wants you to live every moment with passion. He wants you to have a beautiful life and when it’s over, if there’s any way for him to see you again, he will. He will wait for you and he won’t ask you to choose between us. If there’s some magical afterlife, get ready for a ménage because we both love you.”

“Are you sure?”

“I know one thing. I know what it means to love Phoebe Grant, to want to protect and adore her. So I know what Jamie would want. Marry me, Phoebe. Take the chance again because it’s worth it. Because we’re worth it.”

Tears flowed down her cheeks and a sob was wrenched from her chest. He’d seen her cry, but not quite like this. He held her tight because this was a storm and he would never leave her alone. He held on while she wept and couldn’t help but cry a little with her. For her and Jamie. For himself.

“I love you, Phoebe. I love you.” He told her over and over again because she’d been deprived of hearing it. If he said it enough, maybe she would believe it.

Finally, she began to quiet and her arms wrapped around him. He kissed her and then slowly undressed her. He was certain she’d dressed for a quick retreat, but now those little bits of armor were no longer needed. He smoothed the clothes off her, worshipping her body with his lips, murmuring “I love you” as though he could breathe it through her flesh and into her soul.

He eased them both back, settling on the bed. The world had long since turned to night and a sweet weariness settled over him, like he’d done a good day’s work and it was time to rest.

She settled her head on his chest. “I love you, Jesse.”

He brought the covers over them. “Will you marry me? You said yes before but that was easy because you thought I would walk away. Now you know I won’t ever leave you, not if it’s in my control. But I could die. I want whatever time I have on this earth to be spent loving you, Phoebe. So I’m going to ask you again. Will you marry me?”

“Yes. And I’ll stay with you. I’ll stay here with you and we’ll finish this together.”

Together. It was everything he wanted.

He held her close and slept.



Phoebe stepped out into the hallway, closing her robe around her. The sun wasn’t up yet, though it wouldn’t be long. Phoebe had slept for the longest time, missing dinner and whatever discussions had happened among the team. She’d woken and showered and couldn’t quite slip back into bed without trying to talk to Ten first. There was very little time before they were all supposed to be at the airfield. She’d made her decision and she prayed he understood.