You Only Love Twice (Masters and Mercenaries #8)(104)

He rotated her clit and then his cock hit just the right space. Her whole body shook under the force of her orgasm and it seemed to send him straight into his own.

Jesse held himself tight against her and she felt the heat of his release. When he fell forward, she wrapped her arms around him, blood pumping through her body in a pleasant rhythm. She held him, arms and legs tangled, stroking his hair because for the first time he was really hers.

And she was about to lose him.

His head came up and he kissed her, a light touch of the lips. His eyes were serious as he stared down at her. “Tell me your secret.”

She nodded because it was time.





CHAPTER SEVENTEEN





Jesse watched as she came out of the bathroom. He knew alarm bells should have been going off. She’d dressed, putting on jeans and a long-sleeved blouse, though she’d left off her normal makeup. Her hair was in a conservative bun.

It looked like she’d pulled all her armor around her, ready for his inevitable harsh rejection.

Yep, all the alarms should have been going off, but she’d really only tripped his drama-llama alarm. He had to give it to her. His future wife was very dramatic.

He sat on the bed as she paced and wondered if he should look more worried. He’d never been a great actor, but he could probably pull off more concern. Maybe he should try to rage a little at whatever the hell she was about to tell him.

Wait. He’d just thought of something that might give him pause. “Did you start life as a man? It’s not a deal breaker because they did a fabulous job on that *. I’m serious. If that’s man-made, then bravo medicine.”

Her jaw dropped. It was good to know he could still surprise her. “This is serious, Jesse.”

“So not a dude?”

“No, *. I’m not a dude.”

“Carry on then.” He waited. It looked like he was going to do a lot of that since she was right back to pacing.

“I’m trying to figure out how to say this.”

“Words are good.” Although if she wanted to draw it out, he would let her. He wasn’t great at Pictionary though.

There were tears in her eyes when she looked back at him. “Will you please stop joking?”

Damn it. He hadn’t meant to make this harder on her. He got up and closed the distance between them. “I’m sorry. I’ll be serious.”

She didn’t push him away when he reached for her. “It’s bad.”

“Okay. Then you should just tell me. You should just get it out.”

“I have to set it up first.” After a second, she stepped back.

He took it as his cue to move back into “audience” mode. She seemed to need to play out this scene, and he was going to let her. Afterward, he would take control again and he would let her know that whatever deep dark secret she held wasn’t going to come between them ever again. “All right. I’m listening.”

“My husband’s name was James, Jamie. He was probably the first real friend I ever made. There were some in a couple of the foster homes, but mostly I tried to keep to myself. My mom OD’d when I was a kid. I spent most of our time together taking care of her, hiding stuff from the authorities when a teacher got suspicious. After she died, I really shut down. It wasn’t all bad, but none of the good stuff stuck with me until I met my dad and Jamie and Ten.”

He was curious about her background. No file could really tell him what it was like for her. Despite the fact that he’d had a home, he’d been as lonely as she was. “Your dad wanted to recruit you?”

“Yes, but it wasn’t as cold as it sounds. I don’t know. It’s the same with any family. I can tell you what it was like, but only Jamie, Ten, and I really understood. Dad wasn’t a bad man. He believed in his country and he thought he was doing good. I think if he hadn’t taken me and Ten off the streets, we would be dead or in jail by now. I don’t know about Jamie, but then I’m not exactly unbiased when I talk about him. Ten thinks I put him on a pedestal.”

“You were in love with him. You should have.” He knew deep down that he should be jealous of this guy. Jamie Grant still had a hold on Phoebe’s heart even after all these years. And yet he was able to summon up nothing more than sympathy for a man who’d died. He’d died serving his country. He didn’t want Phoebe to think less of James even if it would help his case. “I told you. I know you’re always going to love him. I just ask that you love me, too.”

She stopped, her eyes closing, and she took a deep breath before she opened them again. “I do love you, Jesse Murdoch. I didn’t think I could ever love anyone again, but I can’t deny it.”

“Then know that everything is going to be all right.”

Her eyes slid away from his as she continued. “After college, we went into training and then we started working under my father’s direction. I spent some time in Asia and Jamie and Ten went straight to the Middle East. Jamie and I got married. And then my dad died and Ten took over some of his responsibilities. Of all of us, Ten was the truly brilliant operative. A couple of years back, he started hearing rumors about US corporations and politicians working with hostiles in Iraq. They were after resources and business interests, of course. It wasn’t unusual, but I started to think that one of their payoffs was handing over troop movements and US Army intelligence.”