You Only Love Twice (Masters and Mercenaries #8)(99)

Her gorgeous mouth was perfectly puffy as she dragged her tongue across her lower lip. “Why am I being punished?”

“You’re not. You need this. Tell me you don’t need this and I’ll just make love to you. I’ll make love to you all night, but it won’t mean a damn thing if you can’t relax. Do you want to enjoy our last night?” Manipulative, but necessary. He didn’t feel a moment’s guilt over it. Though he certainly didn’t intend for it to be their last night, the rest was true. She needed the discipline in order to let go and relax. He kicked off his shoes and quickly undressed. He needed to be with her, nothing between them.

“I don’t know why, but I do need it. Jesse, I’m sorry I can’t give you what you need. Why would you take care of me when I can’t do the same for you?”

That was easy. “Because I love you and that’s meaningful to me. Even if you never love me back, I’m glad I love you. I’m a better person, stronger, happier for loving you. And I’ll explain to you why you need it, but not until you do as I ask.”

She got up with grace and then quickly began taking off her clothes. There was no teasing in it, no playful lover. She was a woman who needed. His question was did she even understand what it was that drove her as she climbed onto the bed and placed her body in a position of complete vulnerability?

His dick tightened as he stared at her perfect form. She hadn’t been trained in any formal way, but she’d learned from the few times they’d played. He reached out and let his hand touch the curve of her ass. She sighed, relaxing the moment he caressed her.

“You need permission to connect, baby. You don’t. Not really, but somewhere in your mind you’ve got the idea that it’s wrong to feel pleasure, connection, joy, just about anything but pain.” He drew his hand back and gave her the smack she needed. He didn’t hold back. He slapped her ass with a sure show of his strength.

She cried out but didn’t move, didn’t do anything that would stop him from spanking her again. “Please.”

“That is all in the world I want to do,” Jesse whispered. “Please you. Love you. Be with you.” He spanked her again, five times in rapid succession. Her skin went a nice pink and she let out a long cry.

“Jesse,” she started, but whatever words were there remained trapped.

Like his Phoebe was trapped. She would stay that way if he didn’t free her.

“I love you. You walking away from me won’t change that.” He kept up the hard whacks, being careful with her. She needed enough to feel it, not enough to harm her. Oh, he had no doubt she would harm herself if she could, but he was in charge. He was the Dom. “I will go to my grave loving you, woman.”

The first real sob came from her throat. He looked down and tears poured from her eyes. They slid down her cheeks and onto the bed. Even as she wept, her body relaxed and he knew she was there.

He smacked her backside one last time, holding his hand to her flesh as if he could keep the heat in.

She was crying, allowing the pain and stress of the day to leach from her system, but he wasn’t about to let up. If he gave her an inch, she’d be right back in her head, worrying and creating guilt. There was no place for that in their lives tonight.

“Don’t move.” He went to the bathroom. He’d already planned a nice scene for the evening, so all the tools were clean and laid out. He grabbed the large plug and some lube and wrapped the rest of his torture implements in a towel to bring along. He had plans for his pretty princess and they included a few decorations.

She was still crying when he returned. He immediately went to work, dribbling lube all over that gorgeous * he intended to make his this night.

She squirmed a little.

“Do I need to tie you up?” He’d considered it. It would likely make her feel secure, give her one more reason to give in.

“No. I’ll be good. It feels good, Jesse. Why does it feel so good? Shouldn’t it be wrong?”

He lined the plug up and started a slow massage of her *, letting it sink in inch by inch. “I thought it was wrong at first. When I met Alex and Eve, I tried to save her from him. I thought he was abusing her because I didn’t understand that there was more than one way to love someone.”

She gasped, her hips moving ever so slightly, trying to accommodate the plug as he started to move it in and out. “Do you think it’s possible to love two people?”

At least she was asking the question. “I think what I’ve figured out is that we don’t have a limited amount of love. It doesn’t get all used up and then there’s nothing left. We choose. We choose who we love and how we love, and there is nothing between two consenting adults that brings them connection and pleasure and joy that’s wrong. This is ours, Phoebe. No one else gets a say in it. This is our relationship, our partnership. If you let it, it will be our marriage and there’s only room for you and me. We make the decisions and the rest of the world can go to hell.”

She let out a deep breath and the plug sank home. Gently, he turned her over. She looked up at him with wide eyes. “I want to believe you.”

Fuck, she was beautiful. “Then believe me. The outside world doesn’t matter. All that matters is what happens between you and me. We can take care of all the rest of it together. Now tell me your secret.”