Why Not Tonight (Happily Inc. #3)(86)

“I didn’t know if she was alive or not.” He shook his head. “I still can’t believe it. She was...nice. Nothing like I expected. She told me about her relationship with my dad.” His mouth twisted. “Not something I want to think about. He’s such a jerk.”

“To you, not to her. Plus, it was a long time ago. I’m sure in his time, he was...different.”

One corner of his mouth turned up. “I’m sure he was, too. Especially around other women. She talked about meeting him and what it had been like to fall for him.” He leaned forward and wrapped his hands around the beer bottle.

“She was just a kid. Nineteen. She was from some small town. He played her.”

“I’m glad you’re not mad at her for what happened.”

“How could I be? She wasn’t ready for the likes of him. I’ve known him my whole life and he still pushes my buttons. He doesn’t believe in rules, so he nearly always wins.”

He closed his eyes for a second, then looked at her. “My head hurts. I’ve been going over it and over it. All she told me about herself... She’s married, with a couple of kids. I guess they’re my half siblings, as well. She left me a letter saying she would like to stay in touch, if I’m interested.”

“Are you?”

“Hell if I know.”

“It’s a lot to take in.”

She wanted to reach across the table and touch him to offer support and reassurance. She wanted to take him to her bed and help heal him that way. Only she couldn’t do either. Things were different now. Her confession stood between them—a giant elephant neither of them would acknowledge.

“Nick called Elaine,” he told her.

“What?”

“Nick told her what happened with you and me and asked if she knew how to get in touch with Pippa. Nick set the whole thing in motion.”

Natalie remembered Nick promising her he would fix things. She’d thought he’d meant that he would talk to Ronan. “Are you mad at him?”

“No. Why would I be? He had no idea if Elaine knew Pippa. She never said anything about her to me, but they’ve been communicating all this time.” He looked at Natalie. “Elaine called Pippa and told her there was a problem and within twenty-four hours she was here. What does that mean?”

“That they both care about you, Ronan. They’ve always cared. I guess they were just waiting for permission to help.”

He swore under his breath. She wasn’t sure why, but told herself to keep quiet. That he had to work through it all.

She wanted to hope, wanted to believe that now everything would be all right. He would start to see that there was more in him than Ceallach, that he had a light side to counteract the darkness. Maybe then he would realize how much he needed her in his life. Maybe, just maybe, he would fall desperately in love with her and they could live happily ever after.

Or maybe not. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking or feeling. While she appreciated that he’d sought her out, she didn’t know what it meant.

“It was Elaine’s decision to take me in,” he said unexpectedly. “I thought my old man forced me on her, but it was her choice. He didn’t even know. Once I found out the truth about my past, I assumed she’d been coerced and that acting as though I was her favorite was her way of overcompensating. I thought she’d been lying to me.”

“But it wasn’t like that,” Natalie whispered.

“It wasn’t. All the times she made me crazy, siding with Ceallach over her sons, that was part of it. The heart that allowed her to take in her husband’s bastard was the same heart that couldn’t help loving him that much. Loving all of us, I guess.”

“She’s flawed, Ronan. Everyone is. We make mistakes. I’m sure if she could go back, she would do things differently. Wouldn’t you?”

He nodded.

“You need to go talk to her. Tell her what happened.”

He looked at her for a long time. Silence stretched out between them. For a second she was terrified she’d gone too far and that he was going to get mad at her. Then she told herself to suck it up. If Ronan got mad, she would tell him he was wrong and they both knew it. The break with the woman who had raised him had gone on far too long and it was time to fix things. If he couldn’t see that, he was a stupid butthead, which she had told him before.

Before she got much mad going, he smiled. “You’re right. I need to go to Fool’s Gold. Want to come with me?”

“What?”

“I’m going to drive up there tomorrow. Come with me. We’ll take a couple of days off and see the sights.” He reached across the table and took her hand. “If you don’t want to, I understand, but I’m hoping you’ll go with me. We have things to talk about.”

Hope fluttered insistently. Natalie supposed the smart thing would be to protect herself, but she didn’t know how to do that. Not when she loved Ronan as much as she did.

“Of course I’ll go with you. How long will we be gone?”

He thought for a second. “If we leave early tomorrow, we can be there by the afternoon, then cut across to San Francisco. Let’s spend a couple of nights there. We can hang out in the city.”

She smiled. “I’d like that. Let me text Atsuko and tell her I won’t be in. Oh, and I need to pack and...”