When the Heart Falls(172)

He squeezes his eyes closed. "Don't say that. You wanted me."

"And then again, on the 4th of July. You locked me in my room. You forced me to have sex with you."

"You wanted me inside you."

"I said no!" The memories choke me, but I don’t stop. I push through the haze and pain and face the demons.

"Only because you were too stupid to say yes. So I f*cked you like the whore you are."

"You raped me."

He covers his ears and screams "Stop using that word."

"You're about to rape me again."

His face goes calm. He stops moving. "No. I'm about to make love to you. One last time before… " He reaches into his jacket and pulls out a knife.

Ice-like fear penetrates my heart. I’m about to die. "You don't have to kill me."

"I have to. Your lies have to stop, Winter." He gets on his knees in front of me. "Please forgive me for what I have to do. I need you to forgive me."

I lean forward, fighting the dizziness. "I forgive you."

"You do?"

I put my hands over his, holding them like a lover. "I do."

He smiles. "Then you do love me."

I drive the knife he’s holding into his leg.

He falls back, screaming in pain and rage.

I crawl for the door, my hands slippery with blood. I reach the door handle and hold onto it, but Rodney grabs my leg and pulls me back.

"Why do you hurt me, babe?"

I slump to the ground. "I don't hurt you. I hurt for the years you took from my life."

"Don't say that. Don't say those lies."

"It's the truth. And everyone needs to hear it."

He laughs. "They won't believe you."

"I think they will." I hold up my phone and push the play button.

His recorded voice plays from the phone. "I can't wait for him to find you here, laying on the floor with your legs spread open, your panties ripped off. Like a dirty whore."

The recording keeps playing. Every threat. Every ugly word he said.

Rodney’s face goes blank, and he lets go of me.

I crawl back to the door, turn the lock, push it open. “Cade.” I reach out, crying. My Cade.

The rock song is over. A crowd parts around the bathroom. People scream.

A man in a cowboy hat comes running. "Winter. Are you hurt? Are you hurt!"

The cowboy’s shaking me now. Silly man.

I smile up at him, his face spinning. "I killed a monster. I'm free now. I can rest."





WINTER DEVEAUX

CHAPTER 44





BRIGHT LIGHT ASSAULTS me through my eyelids as consciousness forces itself on me. I groan and peel my eyes open in increments until Cade’s face comes into view, blurry but oh so welcome.

He’s holding my hand and is stroking it with his thumb. “Hey.”

“Hey.” My voice comes out in a croak, and Cade brings a cup of water to my lips. I try to sit up, but something explodes in my brain, and I fall back down. “What’s wrong with my head?”

“You have a concussion.”

“So that’s why there’s two of you.”

His eyes widen and he stands. “Winter, are you—”

I grin, but it makes my whole face hurt even more. “Just joking.”

He sinks back into his chair with a sigh. “Do you… do you remember what happened?”

“I remember that I pretty much hate bathrooms and am so traumatized by my bathroom experiences of late that I might have to wear a catheter for the rest of my life.” My snark breaks the gloom hovering in the room, and he chuckles.

But I know what he’s really asking, and the night rushes back to me in flashes and fragments until the whole memory forms in my mind. Telling him everything is painful for us both, and he closes his eyes when I’m done.

"I should have left him alone,” he says under his breath. Then he opens his eyes and looks at me, brushing a stray hair out of my face. "I should have left him alone. I’m so sorry."

"He would have done it anyway. He couldn't face people hearing the truth. He couldn't face hearing it himself."

Cade’s face is a mask of pain and righteous anger. "How dare he call what he did love. That’s not love."

"It was for him. When we were kids, he told me so. But as kids we liked to pretend. We played Hide and Seek. Our toys played Mommy and Daddy. When we became teenagers, the games ended. I became the book nerd. He, the all-star quarterback who hung out with the team, flirted with the teachers, and slept with the cheerleaders. He changed so much. But now, I realize, he didn't change at all. He wanted to fit in. He molded himself to what society thought was best, what was considered normal, so no one would doubt his humanity. But I was the closest thing he had to a true friend, a lover. He showed me the darkness inside. And I didn't stop him. He took his mask off around me. And he became a demon. He became himself."

Cade turns toward the window, his face in his hands.

I pull him to me, not wanting him to retreat into himself, or worse, blame himself for what happened.

Cade relents and moves close enough to hold me. I rest my head on his chest, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat a comfort to me.