When Darkness Falls(24)

“Jacinda says Dr. Richardson has a good reputation.” Haley tried to say it in a neutral tone, not worried, not nagging. Just encouraging. She understood why he was frustrated with doctors, and the expense of all of it when it wasn’t helping made it that much worse. But he needed to do something or soon he’d be a hermit.

“I’m sure she does.” Devon lay on his side on the couch, watching a movie, as he’d been doing that morning when Haley had left for work. His guitar stood propped against the coffee table. Haley slid it over so she could sit in her rocking chair and stretch her legs without kicking the instrument. At least Devon was still playing.

“Maybe she could help.”

“This isn’t in my head, Haley.”

“Because she’s a psychiatrist doesn’t mean she’ll say it’s in your head.”

“Yes, it does. That’s what psychiatrists do.”

Haley hit mute on the remote. “Not necessarily.”

“How would you know?”

“I was a psychology major, remember? And I saw one for a while, after I found out about Brian. It helped with the depression.”

“I’m not depressed.”

“You stay in the condo all day, you’re barely taking any jobs, and the only place you go is The Underground.”

Devon rolled over so he was facing the back of the couch.

“Al’s worried about you, too,” Haley said.

“So you’ve talked with Al about me. And Jacinda. Who else?”

“I need to talk to people. This is hard for me, too.”

“Really? You’re not the one having heart palpitations. You’re not losing ground in your career or letting Al down in the partnership.”

“Then do something about it.” Moving to the couch, Haley sat by his legs and rested her hand on his back, which felt too hot. “You’ve seen these other doctors, why not see this one, too? Maybe she can help.”

“And if she can’t?”

“Then we’ll try someone else.”

“It’s not ‘we,’ Haley, it’s me. I’m the one going through this. Not you.”

She flinched. “I know that. But we’re in this together. What you do affects me.”

“Then you go to the shrink.”

She didn’t say anything, just kept her hand on his back. She felt like she ought to be able to help him.

“I’ll think about it,” Devon said finally. The couch muffled his words. “But at two hundred fifty bucks a session, she better be amazing.”

? ? ?

The next time, it happened inside. It was a cloudy day, but for the first time that unseasonably chilly spring, it was warm enough to open all the windows. He took a break from his practicing and pulled a wood chair near the window to breathe the outside air. It had been nearly a month since he’d ventured outside. The only jobs he played now were at The Underground, which he could go down to without going outdoors, and the only other work he did was tending bar there.

He watched people eating at the sidewalk café across Dearborn Street. He could almost taste the coming cool, sweet, summer breeze, and the tinge of smog from the traffic on Polk Street. But as he leaned toward the window, he grew warm, then hot, until his whole body felt like it was on fire. His heart burned both hot and cold, like dry ice.

His chair screeched across the floor as he shoved back from the window. He tried to call Haley, but couldn’t get enough air to speak. She heard the chair, though, and ran in from the bedroom.

“Ambulance?” she said.

He lifted his hand, signaling that she should wait, and took a huge breath. Closed his eyes. He pressed his left thumb to his right wrist, taking his pulse.

“It’s slowing,” he said.

“You’re breathing better,” she said.

He sat a few minutes longer, bent over in the chair. Haley stood next to him, held his hand, and listened to his breathing, which finally became normal.

? ? ?

The office manager’s voice came through the intercom as Haley powered down the computer. “Haley, stop by my office before you go.”

Haley switched the phones to the answering service, took off her headset, and turned off the lamps in the waiting area. Only the light over the telephone console remained on, plus the light in the hallway that led to the exam rooms and offices. Barbara Hydron hadn’t sounded particularly friendly over the intercom, but she never did.

Barbara’s office was barely larger than a walk-in closet. Wedged between her desk and credenza, she was inputting notes into her laptop when Haley entered. She settled her wire frame glasses a little lower on the bridge of her nose.

Haley edged into the visitor chair on the side of the desk, her knees bumping against a file cabinet. She couldn’t think of anything she’d done wrong lately, unless she was so confused about something she didn’t realize she’d made a mistake.

Barbara looked down at the shift schedule, her lower jaw jutting forward like a bulldog’s. “I see you’re not going to be in tomorrow evening.”

“My husband has a doctor’s appointment.”

The lines embedded over Barbara’s eyebrows deepened. “And you have to be there?”

“I promised I’d drive him. He’s been ill.”