When Darkness Falls(20)

“Of course it is,” Kari said. Maybe that really was it. “You went from your mother’s house to Brian’s, basically. After that you lived alone for, what, maybe six months, then moved in with Devon? To you, being alone was the unusual thing, what didn’t feel right. But for Devon, living with someone is different. It requires adjusting.”

“Maybe.”

“It would for me,” Kari said. “Someone else’s furniture suddenly in the apartment, someone else’s shampoo in the shower, dishes in the cabinets. It’s a territorial thing.”

In fact, it had been part of why Kari had ultimately decided against marrying her boyfriend. She’d lived with her mother through college and longed to have her very own place, which she now loved. Though, of course, it was more complicated than that. Everything was.

Haley smiled for the first time that evening. “The apartment looks way better with my things in it, though, don’t you think?”

“Way better.”

Haley’s lamps, in particular, had helped warm the place and keep it from looking so bare. Kari had to wonder about a guy who’d lived somewhere ten years and still used milk crates for bookcases. But decorating wasn’t as important to everyone as it was to her.

They talked about other things for a while over a bag of Chips Ahoy, the favorite comfort food for both of them. Around nine, Haley fetched another Diet Coke for Kari and made a cup of tea for herself.

“I wish I could be sure that’s all it is. Trouble adjusting.”

“You need to talk to him,” Kari said.

“I’m trying to find a good time.”

Kari shifted in her chair. “You can only avoid confrontation for so long.”

“I wish I was better at this,” Haley said. “Brian and I knew each other so long we practically read each other’s minds.”

“But you didn’t,” Kari said. It pained her to push on what was still a sensitive topic for Haley, but she couldn’t watch her take the same path again. “You didn’t. Not about the important things. You felt bad, you had a feeling something was wrong, but you convinced yourself it was nothing. And he let you think that.”

Haley was silent for a long time, then she squared her shoulders and sat straighter. “I know. I’ve got to deal with things.”

Kari touched Haley’s hand. “It’s like diving into a swimming pool for the first time of the summer. The cold water’s a shock, but it feels good once you’re in.”

Haley sighed. “I always eased in a toe at a time.”

? ? ?

Devon rocked back on a straight back chair in the front room, one foot on the trunk, balancing and practicing his guitar. Haley usually got home from work at eight Friday nights, so he planned to be down at The Underground bartending by seven.

The key turned in the lock and she walked in, carrying a large brown bag.

Devon stopped playing as the chair thunked forward onto its four legs. He held his guitar tight in front of himself. “Haley.”

“Keep playing,” she said. “I’ve got a surprise for you, but it’ll take a while.”

“You’re early.”

“Janine and I traded hours. It’s the first time in ages she hasn’t had a Friday night date. She didn’t know what to do with herself.”

Devon willed himself to relax. After all, he couldn’t avoid spending time with Haley forever. Not to mention, he’d married her to spend time with her. It would be okay. “What’s the surprise?”

She smiled. “Wait and see. It’ll be about forty-five minutes. That’ll give you time to finish practicing.”

Before Devon could answer, Haley disappeared into the hallway behind him. His fingers moved across the strings again. His mind raced. He searched for a safe topic he and Haley could talk about until he could claim he was due behind the bar at The Underground. His music wouldn’t work because he didn’t want to get into the jobs he’d turned down.

Her work. That should be safe.

From the kitchen came a whoosh as the gas oven lit, and the sound of dishes being set on the table. Haley’s footsteps hurried upstairs to the bedroom. The garlicky scent of marinara sauce drifted into the living room as the shower started. Dinner. He could not sit down to dinner. If he faced Haley that long, all his fears would come pouring out of his mouth. He’d be his father, whining and unloading on everyone around him, full of problems, and not a single solution in the mix. His fingers began to sweat and slide along the strings.

The shower shut off. “Ten minutes,” Haley said.

Devon stood, and then sat again, listening to the whir of her blow dryer. He couldn’t leave. That wouldn’t be protecting her. It would be wounding her out of his own inadequacy. He started playing again, running through scales, too distracted for anything else.

Fifteen minutes later, she called him to the dining area. She’d thrown a lace tablecloth over their beat-up table. Two candles in pewter holders flickered between the place settings Al had given them as a wedding gift. A platter held garlic bread, green beans, and ricotta-stuffed pasta shells covered with tomato sauce. A wooden bowl of tossed salad sat next to it.

“It’s from Leona’s,” Haley said, naming their favorite Italian restaurant. “Except the salad, I made that.”