When Darkness Falls(15)

“If it ever did, though. I want you to know I’d be okay. You can tell me things.”

He shut his eyes, felt his heart rate bump up a little. “The doctor thinks I’m nervous about the wedding. That that’s why this happened.”

“It’s normal to be nervous. I’m nervous.”

“I don’t feel like that’s it, though.”

“So what do you think it is?” Haley said.

“I don’t know. I—it feels like something’s really wrong.”

His heart had slowed again, and exhaustion seeped through his muscles, weighing on him. The idea of a connection to his father’s illness still nagged at him, but he tried to put it aside. The doctor had been clear about that, if nothing else. So there was no reason to raise it with Haley. He’d never told her his father’s ultimate diagnosis, never told her anything beyond alcoholism and “issues.” Never really explained about his brother, Paul, either. He knew he needed to. Schizophrenia might be hereditary, and they might have kids one day. But he’d spent so many years of lying and covering up, had absorbed so much of his mother’s embarrassment. He would share it with Haley someday and explain why he hadn’t been able to before. She’d understand. Or so he’d convinced himself.

“We’ll figure it out,” Haley said.

“Still want to marry me?”

“Of course.”

He smiled, a little less tired. “Just checking.”

? ? ?

Jacinda and Reginald brought Haley’s things over the next evening. They’d kept them in their SUV overnight. Devon carried only light objects at first, a lamp, a box of clothes, but soon he was helping haul the boxes of books and Haley’s desk up the stairs. He stayed alert for signs of distress, but there were none. His heart beat a little faster when he climbed the stairs, but he figured that was normal. He’d spent the afternoon watching movies and reading. He felt worn out, but his body seemed to be working. They finished bringing everything in as it started raining. The four of them rearranged the apartment while they waited for a pizza to be delivered.

The apartment looked better with Haley’s things in it. The Oriental rug and the brass floor lamps warmed the living room and her desk filled the empty corner in the bedroom. The closet was another issue. They were probably going to have to look for an armoire or dresser because there wasn’t room for both their things.

He took her home around ten-thirty, driving cautiously in the pouring rain. He’d wanted her to stay the night, but she was superstitious about seeing him before the ceremony, and Kari was helping her get ready in the morning.

When he got back home, his phone rang. Assuming it was Haley saying goodnight, Devon answered without checking the number.

“Hey, stranger.”

Lydia’s voice, warm and sultry, always made him think of honey being poured out of a jar. He mentally kicked himself for answering.

“Lydia.” He’d put off calling her as long as he could. Now he had to face her, as much as he could, anyway, over the phone. Six pieces of sausage and pepperoni pizza turned to rocks in his stomach. “How are you?”

“How are you? It’s been a while.”

His heart sped up, and for a moment he thought he was having another attack. The fear made it temporarily impossible for him to say a word. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

“Devon? Are you there?”

“Yeah, sorry,” he finally managed. He took a deep breath and blurted out, “I’m getting married.” The pause was so long Devon thought the connection might have been severed. He put his fingers to his neck, checking his pulse. It had slowed a bit with the relief of telling her. “Lydia?”

“When?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow. Don’t you think you ought to let her get to know you? You must have just met.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Well, it’s only a guess, but I’m assuming you wouldn’t have f*cked me if you’d already met the woman of your dreams.”

Devon winced and sat on the sofa. Lydia had always had an edge, but it hadn’t usually been directed at him. He couldn’t completely blame her. He never should have slept with her. On the other hand, she’d insisted there were no strings. And while he’d had one date with Haley by the time he went to L.A., he hadn’t had a commitment to her yet. “It’s been four months.”

“You must be relieved you’re not incapable of loving anyone after all.”

“Lydia, I’m sorry.”

“No need. Is she pregnant?”

“No.”

“So why the hurry? You’re blissfully in love and can’t hold yourself back?”

Devon took another deep breath. “Yes.” He listened to the rain drumming on the windows. Let her make fun if she wanted.

“These whirlwind romances can end badly.”

“Not this one.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.” For a moment, though, he recalled the way he’d felt in the ambulance yesterday. The desperate, gut feeling that something was wrong, that he was dying. But who wouldn’t feel that way, having all the symptoms of a heart attack?

“I suppose congratulations are in order,” Lydia said. “How are you otherwise?”