Uniting the Souls (Souls of Chicago #6)(42)

“You need grease to cure your hangover, plus lots of water because you’re probably dehydrated,” Hudson said as he pulled his phone out of his pocket.

He set to work ordering burgers and fries with chocolate shakes for each of us and Isaac went to my cabinets, opening each one until he found the glasses then he pulled one out and filled it with water from the sink. He handed me the glass and I sat down at the kitchen table to drink it. The two of them came over and sat down across from me.

“We’re going to get you fed and feeling better and then we’re going to talk,” Hudson informed me in a voice that brooked no argument.

I sagged in my chair as I felt the weight of everything I’d been holding in pressing down on me. The anger and hurt, the sadness and guilt from my past, along with my confusion over my feelings for the two men sitting there had suddenly become too much. Instead of getting defensive and arguing with him, I simply nodded. I wanted to share my story with them. I was ready.





The conversation was kept light as we ate and I had a feeling they were doing it on purpose. I think they sensed that what I had to tell them was going to be difficult for me and so they were giving me a bit of a reprieve. I appreciated the gesture as it gave me time to figure out exactly what all I would tell them. In the end, I decided that I wouldn’t hold anything back. No matter how difficult it was to revisit the past, I owed it to them as well as myself to get it out in the open.

Both my head and my stomach felt much better after the greasy meal and Isaac made sure to refill my water glass whenever he saw it empty. When we were finished, we moved into the living room where it was more comfortable. I sat down on the couch, leaving the two armchairs across from me for Hudson and Isaac. I leaned forward with my elbows on my knees as I tried to think of where to start.

“Did I do something wrong?” Isaac asked and my head shot up in surprise. “I know I’m not as experienced as you two, and I know I probably messed things up, but is that why you stayed away?”

“No, not at all,” I assured him. I hated the worried look on his face and I was horrified that he would think my staying away from work had anything to do with his sexual performance. “You were perfect, both of you were absolutely perfect…and that was part of the problem.” Both men wore matching confused expressions on their faces and I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

“I was in love once. His name was Sean and we met when I was fifteen years old. My family had just moved because of my dad’s job and I was miserable and grouchy about having to leave my friends behind and start all over at a new high school. It was the beginning of summer break and I must’ve been getting on my mom’s nerves because she suggested that I go outside and take a walk or go for a bike ride. I don’t think she really cared as long as I got out of her hair for a while.” I chuckled at that, knowing what a pain I’d been to live with back then.

“Anyway, I went outside and sat down on the back steps and began tossing my baseball up in the air.” I smiled as I let myself get lost in the memory.

“Hey! You want to play catch?” A voice called out from nearby.

I looked up and saw a pair of green eyes and a shock of red hair peering at me from over the privacy fence that ran between ours and the neighbor’s property. I couldn’t see anything else because the rest of him was hidden behind the wooden slats, but I could tell he was young, probably around my age. I was bored and could use someone to toss back and forth with so I said sure.

I unlocked the gate so he could come into our yard and then stood there stupidly as I stared at him. He was a little bit taller than me with a wiry frame. His skin was very pale and I wondered if it was because he was a redhead or if he just spent most of his time indoors. He looked like the type that probably spent a lot of time on a computer or playing video games.

Then he smiled at me and my mouth went dry and my heart began to beat wildly in my chest. He was probably what most kids our age would consider a nerd or geek, but to me he was the most remarkable creature I’d ever seen.

I’d started noticing boys when I was about twelve years old and I’d talked to my parents about it, wondering why all of my friends seemed to like girls and I didn’t. They asked me if I knew what being gay meant and I told them I’d heard it used before and I didn’t think it was a very good thing from what I’d heard.

They’d frowned at each other and then explained to me the truth of what being gay meant and that there was nothing wrong with a person being whoever they were born to be. Because of my parents, I’d never given another thought to being gay and was just content with who I was.

I stood there, trying to not make it obvious how attractive I thought he was, but he’d left me completely tongue tied so I looked at the ground instead. His hand shot out and he snatched the ball away from me. My head shot up and he winked at me as if he knew what I’d been thinking.

“Come on, let’s play some ball before my mom catches me out here.” I watched as he walked away from me, further into our yard. It took a second, but I was eventually able to get my legs to work and I jogged over to catch up.

We tossed the ball back and forth in a steady rhythm and he asked me for my name and where I had moved from. He told me his name was Sean and that he’d seen me out in the yard a few times and had been waiting for an opportunity to come over and say hi. I was shocked to learn that he’d been watching me and it made a tingle go up my spine, but in a good way. A very good way.