Uniting the Souls (Souls of Chicago #6)(38)

At the center of it all was Hudson, whose open honesty had kept the three of us tethered, binding us in a way that made me feel safer and stronger. When I was lying there, Matt inside me and Hudson hovering above my head, I’d felt safer than I ever had in my life. It was as if when I was with those two men, nothing and no one could touch me. I’d never felt that level of security, ever. I knew that after that first taste of it, I’d never be able to let that feeling go.

I just hoped my two lovers had felt the same. I had no experience when it came to those kinds of things. For all I knew, sex was always that powerful and what had seemed earth-shattering to me, had been normal for them. I sighed as I poured the last of my coffee into the sink and rinsed out my cup. I guess there was only one way to find out, I needed to get to work so I could see them.

“Isaac! Hey, man, we’re just about to start a game. You in?” someone called out as I walked in the door of Agape House.

I looked up and saw Troy standing near the front desk, a basketball tucked under his arm. Troy had shown up at the center nearly six months before, battered and bruised from a father who refused to have a gay son. The bruises had all healed and after many sessions with Hudson, he had finally started to show his true self. Beneath the quiet, scared kid who had arrived at our door, was a fun-loving, outgoing, adventurous young man.

“Don’t you need to catch the bus soon?” I asked, checking the time on my watch.

“No school. It’s a teacher in-service day,” he answered. I chuckled at the broad smile that spread across his face, remembering how excited I used to get when there was no school.

“Okay! Let me just put my stuff up and check in with Matt, then I’ll play,” I told him. I started down the hallway towards my office, but stopped in my tracks when Allison spoke up from her desk.

“Matt’s not here yet. He wasn’t at breakfast and I haven’t heard from him,” she said.

My stomach twisted in a knot. I couldn’t remember Matt ever being late. He was always the first one to arrive at the center, often before the kids woke up. He’d told me once that it was because it was quiet and he was able to get some of his work done so he could spend more time with the kids before they had to go to school. I always thought it was sweet that he wanted to make sure he had breakfast with them and saw how they were doing before they left for the day. The fact that he hadn’t done so that morning, especially since there was no school, had me feeling concerned. I hoped he wasn’t sick.

“I’ll check my messages, see if he called,” I told Allison.

I told Troy I’d be right back and then I walked down the hallway, frowning at Matt’s dark office. I stepped into my office and put my messenger bag in my bottom desk drawer then hung my jacket on the coat hook on the back of the door. I sat down at my desk and saw the light flashing on my office phone, alerting me to three new messages. I pushed the button quickly so I could listen to them, hoping one of them was from Matt.

My shoulders sagged with disappointment when none of the voices were his. I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket just to be sure I hadn’t missed a message or call, but there was nothing. I hoped he wasn’t sick, but then I brushed the thought aside. If he weren’t feeling well, he would’ve called either me or Allison already to reschedule his appointments. Maybe he just had car trouble or an early appointment he forgot to mention.

I rolled my eyes. It wasn’t like it was late in the day, just late for Matt. The man had a life outside of the center, I reminded myself. He gave so much of himself and if he wanted to take the morning off, that was his prerogative.

Feeling better, I grabbed the T-shirt and shorts I kept in my cabinet and changed into them so I wouldn’t get my work clothes all sweaty, then I hurried down the hall to shoot some hoops with Troy and his friends. It felt good to let loose and have some fun with the kids. They kept me laughing with their antics throughout the entire game and soon enough, the tension began to seep from my body, replaced with warm, limber muscles and the exhilaration that came with my blood rushing through my veins.

The game ended and there was a lot of friendly razzing from the winners. I was happy to see that no one got their feelings hurt and seemed to understand that the teasing was done in good-natured fun. They were a great group of kids and I liked that they all got along and had fun together. I ran to my office and grabbed my good clothes then I went to the employee bathroom and used the shower there to clean myself. I got dressed and grabbed a water and an apple from the kitchen then headed to the front of the building.

“Hey, Allison! Have you seen Matt yet?” I asked.

“No and he still hasn’t called either. This isn’t like him at all. Do you think we should be worried?” The look on her face told me how concerned she was and I had to admit, I was really starting to get worried. Matt never missed work and if he needed to take a day off, he would’ve called to let us know. Something wasn’t right. I could feel it in my bones.

“I’m going to try and get ahold of him. I’m sure everything’s fine,” I assured her, trying to convince myself that it was true.

I walked quickly to my office and checked both phones, but there were still no messages from Matt. Everything from the flu to a car accident raced through my mind as possible reasons for him to miss work without calling.

Then another possibility occurred to me and a feeling of unease rippled through me. What if Matt had gone home Saturday night and decided that being with me and Hudson had been a mistake? What if I’d done something wrong and he decided I wasn’t good enough? I was glad that I’d waited to be with the two of them, but a part of me cursed my inexperience. He’d seemed like he enjoyed it, but Matt was a good guy, could he have been pretending to avoid hurting my feelings?