Troubles and Treats (Chocolate Lovers #3)(22)

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Jenny insisted on stopping at Denny’s on the way home because she was hungry and always wanted to order Moons Over My Hammy because it was funny to say. I almost asked her to marry me on the spot.

“Funny you mention ham. I have issues with ham when I’m really, really drunk,” I told her, shoveling a mouthful of scrambled eggs in my mouth. “The past few times Carter and I have gone out, we always wind up at the grocery store at the end of the night so I can go to the deli counter and order five pounds of ham.”

Jenny laughed and wiped her mouth on a napkin. “Why would you order five pounds of ham?” she asked.

“Well, I’ve only heard this story from Carter so I’m not absolutely sure it’s true since I have no recollection of the events. But according to him, I always buy ham and then walk down the sidewalk tossing ham at people, calling myself the Meat Fairy.”

Jenny continued to laugh and when my cell phone buzzed on the table in front of me, I ignored it. She picked it up and started scrolling through the apps. Normally, this would make me want to smack a chick in the ovaries, but with Jenny, I didn’t mind at all. I leaned over and saw she was clicking on the Facebook app.

“Check and see if my status still says, ‘I suck big cocks.' Carter got a hold of my phone the other day and I haven’t figured out how to change it.”

Jenny leaned slightly away and typed something into the phone with a smile on her face. I let her do her thing as I finished my food.

While we waited to pay the bill, we continued talking about stupid shit we’d done when we were drunk. Jenny’s story about sending an email to her grandmother that said “I finger-banged an orangutan. It was a party at the zoo!” because she’ll do anything people dare her to do when she’s drunk had my Meat Fairy story beat by a long shot.

Jenny started up the car and I leaned over the console and rested my head on her shoulder, turned on the radio, and flipped through the stations. The gay ass song “I Would Walk 500 Miles” came on and I snorted a laugh.

“There are only two things I would walk 500 miles for: beef jerky and you,” I admitted.

Jenny immediately flipped the blinker from turning right, toward my house, to left. I didn’t say a word as she pulled out of the parking lot and away from the direction I lived. I was praying to the Meat Fairy that she was taking me back to her place and I wouldn't want to say anything and spook her into turning around.

A few minutes later, we pulled into the driveway of a cute little blue bungalow with a front porch and flower boxes under the windows.

“So, this is my place. I hope it’s okay we came here,” she said quietly.

“It is absolutely okay. I live with Carter and he’s probably at home jerking off with a bottle of chocolate sauce. My eyes can’t take that shit anymore.”

We get out of the car and I grab her hand as we round the hood and start up the stairs. She let go of my hand to dig into her purse for her keys and unlock the door. As we walk inside, I was suddenly reminded of the fact that I smell like beer and tequila. I needed a shower and I needed it bad. Even if nothing happened between us tonight, I still wanted to do everything in my power to be close to her. I wasn't doing that when Budweiser is leaking from my pores.

She happily obliged my request, showed me to the bathroom, leaving a folded, clean towel on the back of the toilet for me before leaving and closing the door behind her.

I undressed as quickly as possible and hopped into the shower, not wanting to waste too much time away from her. As always when I was in the shower, I started singing.

“Hold me closer, Tony Daaaaanza. Count the head lice on the hiiiiiiiiighway.”

While singing and washing my hair, I heard a noise behind me and turned to find a wet, naked Jenny standing in the shower with me, a huge grin on her face as she looked me up and down.

“Holy f*ck, am I dreaming,” I asked, speaking directly to her boobs. “I’m sorry, I’m finding it impossible to look you in the eyes right now.”

I continued staring at the world’s most perfect boobs as she took a step closer to me and held up a tube of something for me to see. I regrettably pulled my eyes away from booby heaven to read the label on the bottle that bottle said, ‘Great Head’.

“I got this the other night at the sex toy party I went to. It’s supposed to numb the back of my throat so I don’t gag during a blow job. I’ve never been with a guy whose junk was anywhere near the back of my throat, but I’m pretty sure you have them beat. Wanna give it a try and see if it works?’

I stared at her with an open mouth and, I wasn't going to lie, a few tears in my eyes. Thank God the shower was throwing mist and drops of water all over the place and she wouldn’t see my tears of joy.

All I could do was stare and nod my head up and down, my mouth still open in awe. She opened the tube of gel and squirted a generous amount on her index finger before sliding it into her mouth and sucking it clean. Little Drew jerked down below, and I mentally told him to calm his shit down or he was going to spit all over the place before this even started.

Jenny placed her hands on my chest and gently pushed me until my back was flat against the cold tile wall. She quickly got to her knees and wrapped her hand around my dick, running her tongue teasingly over the head as I squealed.

Yep, totally just squealed and I didn’t even care.