Toxic (Denazen #2)(93)

Aubrey.

He reached out, cradling my face in his hands. Something inside me broke. Whatever biological or chemical wall that had been holding the poison at bay. The thing that had blissfully numbed the pain. It finally gave out, shattering to let a rush of agony roll over me like a rogue tsunami. I’d jumped from a moving car, lost my footing while train surfing, and now I’d lost Kale. At that moment, though, none of that pain could come within a ten-mile radius of the agony ripping me apart.

A scream tore from my throat. I didn’t hear it, but I felt it work its way through my body and explode from my mouth. The sound of it—of everything—was sharp. Like every noise was amplified by a thousand speakers all aimed at my head and backed with white noise. Muscles itched, blood boiled. And just when I was sure he’d killed me, the painful fog cleared. Like someone magically snapped their fingers or flipped a switch. It was all just…gone.

When I opened my eyes, Aubrey was kneeling in front of me, face impassive. “Why—”

He stood. “I believe in what Denazen stands for. They want to better the world through our gifts.”

Jade snorted. “If you believe that, then I bet Cross has a golden goose to sell you, too.”

Aubrey held out his hand. I took it and let him pull me to my feet. It was clammy and cool, like Able’s, but I didn’t care. It was nice to feel it.

“Cross is no Mother Teresa. His methods are—unorthodox.”

I snorted. “You consider allowing his own daughter to die unorthodox?”

“That,” Aubrey said with a frown, “has given me something to think about.” He turned and started up the path.

“Wait.”

He stopped, but didn’t turn around.

“You were supposed to bring me back, but you’re empty handed. He’s going to find out I’m still alive. Won’t you get in trouble?”

Back to us, Aubrey shrugged. “You agreed to come with me. My brother hit you hard. It was obvious you weren’t going to make it, so I had no choice but to heal you first. We were on our way to the car, and there was an ambush. I was lucky to get out.” He took several steps forward and stopped. Turning, our eyes met. “I’ll watch out for 9—Kale.”





35


Six days had passed since Kale had chosen my life over his freedom.

At first, I didn’t feel anything. I was numb again. There was an icy hole where my heart used to be. A black void covered every hour of every day. Then the five stages of grief set in. First was the denial. Wake up. Go about my morning. Knock on Kale’s door and wait for him to answer.

He’d answer. He wasn’t gone.

That only lasted two days.

Next came the anger. I’d smashed the few pieces of furniture in my room at Dax’s underground cabin to pieces—screaming until my voice was long gone. He was a saint. Everything was replaced the next day without a word.

The bargaining stage was over almost before it even started. Several hours of crying and pleading to any higher power that would listen. I’d done the unthinkable once—infiltrated Denazen and broke him out. I could do it again. I’d do anything—give anything—if I could just make that happen one more time.

But as the hours ticked by, I saw the situation for what it really was. Impossible. That’s where the depression stage started to bleed through. Dad would be expecting me to charge in. He’d be waiting. Hoping. And even though I seemed to have gained a little momentum and control over my gift, I couldn’t fool myself—or the others—into thinking I could slip in and out unnoticed. Getting tossed in a cage at Denazen wouldn’t help Kale. Or the underground. And now, more than ever, Dad needed to be taken down.

And that’s where I hovered. Stuck somewhere between bargaining and depression—because acceptance? That was never going to happen. This wasn’t a situation I could live with. As soon as my head cleared, things were going to change.

I slept long hours curled in the middle of Kale’s bed waiting for Brandt to contact me. He’d come back. Just as soon as he found out what had happened. He’d drop whatever it was he was doing and back me up. That’s how it worked.

But he never showed.

“I thought I’d find you here,” Jade mumbled as she settled beside me. “Sitting in the dark in his room isn’t going to change anything, you know. When the lights come on, he’ll still be gone.”

“Whatever.” Lame, I know. But what else could I say? You couldn’t argue with fact.

Well, you could, but where does it put you?

It puts you in the dark in someone’s room. Someone who wasn’t coming back.

“Not me, because I think you’re vile—and a raging bitch—but everyone else is worried about you.”

“And they sent you to give me the message?”

“I volunteered. As much as I enjoy seeing you miserable, this is ridiculous. And Kale wouldn’t want it.”

They’d all pretty much left me alone. Even Mom. Food was left in a plate on the counter in the kitchen with my name on it. Pots of coffee would mysteriously appear outside Kale’s room at all hours of the night. Along with a plate of cheese sticks and piping hot marinara sauce. That was hard. They only knew I liked them. They didn’t understand the meaning they held or the memories they sparked.