Torrent of Tears (Scourge Survivor Series Book 3)(71)

I tried to smile, but fell short. When Rowan’s face began wavering behind a wall of tears, I knew I was in trouble. “This wasn’t supposed to happen.” I swiped fast at my cheeks. “Reign was supposed to be there . . . give me away.”

Crying in earnest, Rowan laid me on the mound of pillows on the floor. He smelled like home and while the fire warmed my butt, his strong hand rubbed circles on my back.

None of this was happening like it was supposed to. I’d dreamed of finding my birth parents since I was eight. I’d planned how it would go, what they’d be like, but never, in all the variations of that daydream did my father get beheaded by my bitch Queen of a mother.

“I’m not usually such a . . . girl.”

“Don’t apologize. Members of the Noble houses rarely get to prove their substance. You’re doing me a favor by letting me comfort you.” Rowan offered me a handkerchief. “Why the tears?”

“I wanted a mother,” I sobbed, wiping my face. “Jade and Bruin used to tell Julian and me stories about their mothers and I wanted one.”

Rowan kissed the gems by my temple and whispered close to my ear. “And no matter how old you are, there’s a part of you that will always need your parents.”

I snuggled closer and laid my head on his arm for a pillow. “Rowan? If we survive . . . can we have a real wedding with our family?”

He laced his fingers with mine and pressed our joined hands against his chest. “I swear to you, if we survive this, I’ll marry you here, and in your realm, and in the Modern Realm, and with as many guests and flowers and bottles of champagne you can organize. Your father can give you away or your brothers or your friends. Whatever you want. Anything you want.”

I wiped the last of my tears away. “You might live to regret that. You’ve never seen me in party planner mode. I want the whole show. Cake, dancing, tossing the bouquet . . . I’m going to take that flower grenade and toss it yelling ‘crawl for it bitches’ . . . cause that’s what girls do.”

Rowan barked out a laugh. “Done. Besides, you’re going to be a Noble of the Fifth House. The bigger you go, the better you’ll fit in.”

I nipped the edge of his jaw and giggled. “I’ll never fit in with what the Noble Council considers appropriate.”

He shrugged. “The Noble Council can stick it, it’s the citizens of the Fifth sector we need to worry about and they already love you.”

“They do?”

“Mhmm.” His kisses followed the trail of gems down my neck, along my collarbone, and down further. “Everyone is wearing chokers, like yours.”

“I figured they’d lost people and appreciated the sentiment of the mourning bands.”

“I’m sure that’s part of it,” he whispered against my bodice, “but they wear them for you. It’s a show of support. Those are your people.”

“My people?” I giggled as he nuzzled under the fabric and edged toward my breast. “Who in their right mind would follow me anywhere?”

Rowan lifted his head, his eyes glowing serious. “How can you not know what an incredible woman you are? You’re strong and smart and kind and—”

“And my brother Bruin is stronger, my brother Julian is smarter and my sister Jade is . . . well Jade tops the charts on pretty much every other scale. I’m just Lexi, the spoiled, hot-headed Princess.”

Yeah, that was about it. I was never as much of anything as my siblings.

Rowan scowled. “I find that hard to believe. From where I sit, you’re amazing on every scale. In fact, if we weren’t bound to this room until morning I’d take you out and let the citizens show you how much you mean to them.”

I rolled my eyes and was about to argue when a rap on the door had us jumping to our feet. After drawing the knife from beneath my skirt, I stepped behind the door and gave Rowan the nod. He turned the lock and opened the door a crack, then threw it open wider and ushered Ydorus and Father Rowan into the suite.

“Elani?” Rowan said before the latch had even closed behind them. “Is she safe?”

Ydorus nodded. “I put her on the launch myself and watched until Estes steered it out to the main canal. He won’t have any problem from there.”

Rowan exhaled, his wide shoulders easing. “Thank you.”

Ydorus patted him on the back and gestured to the Abbatis priest standing next to them. “Is this the man you were looking for? Lexi said the priest she danced with and since he is the only person she danced with. . . .” He held up his hands.

The priest met Rowan chest-to-chest and they clapped each other on the back. “How are you, my boy?”

Rowan stepped back and pulled me to his side. “I’ll be better once we’re married.”

Father Rowan looked from his godson to me to Ydorus, who wore the same stunned expression. “But aren’t you getting married to—”

“Lir-dickwad?” I said. “No. that’s not happening. If I have to be married to a Noble on my fifth birthday, we’ll alter the plans a little. Nothing they can do about it, right? I’ve been told a million times—the Laws are Absolute.”

Rowan snickered at my attempt to capture the pious tone that everyone used when using that statement. “Who wants to be Lady-dickwad anyway?”