Torrent of Tears (Scourge Survivor Series Book 3)(69)

I admired the forethought, but fuck.

“Okay, here’s what we’re going to do. I’m confident I can get the locks open. Orichalcum and I seem to have a unique understanding.” I could feel its energy, almost as if it was speaking to me. “So, let’s assume I get them unlocked, Ydorus and I will put on the collars and wait till morning. Meanwhile you two will meet Estes at the launch and—”

“Like hell,” Rowan growled. “I’m not leaving you here for the guards to find in the morning. They’ll kill you for setting us loose.”

“They can’t kill me. There’s a palace full of Nobles and guests waiting to watch the twins marry Lir-Douche of the Ninth House.”

“You think that matters? The Queen can kill you without ever laying a hand on you. She’ll reach into your head as you’re standing at the altar. You’ll have an aneurism and no one will know it was her. But you’ll still be dead.”

I stepped around him to gain some distance. I didn’t think the Queen would kill me. She still had hopes I would join her in her war plans. “I’ll figure it out, but I need you two safe.”

“Elani yes.” He grabbed my wrist and pulled me around so I had no choice but to look at him. “But I’m staying. You’ll need my help.”

“What help?” I snapped, staring at the painting just over his shoulder. “I’m a warrior, you’re a civilian. You need to get her out—”

He moved his face into my line of vision and scowled. “I may be only a lowly civilian, but I’ am a man. I’m not leaving you to fight my battle.”

“Yes. You. Are.” I closed my eyes and scrubbed my face. With what was going on in my skull I wondered if anyone’s head had ever actually exploded. If so, I couldn’t be far off from a total detonation.

“Lexi, look at me. What’s wrong?”

I kicked up my chin, but couldn’t bring myself to follow the order. “Nothing.”

“Bullshit. You haven’t looked at me once since you stumbled through the door. What is going on with you?”

“Nothing, I . . . uh.” The room swept by in a blur as I was flung over Rowan’s shoulder like a sack of potatoes. “What the—”

He stomped the two of us into the bathroom and ass-planted me on the counter. After ensuring I was steady he retreated to the door and locked it. “If you need to make me suffer, fine, but don’t do it by ordering me away, because I won’t go. I’m sorry, okay. I’m so fucking sorry.”

The shame in his voice that had me meeting his gaze. The agony of it bit me in the chest and stole my breath. “Why would I want you to suffer?”

“For allowing them to use me to bait the trap for you. For letting them round you up and not lifting a finger to protect you. I was a coward. Nothing like your warrior family. And I’m sure . . . nothing like Tham.”

Nothing like Tham? “Don’t be stupid. I told you to watch out for Elani first. I can take care of myself.”

Rowan rubbed his chest. “The Queen told me they had Coal and Terran too. I don’t even want to imagine how much you hate me right now—”

“Yeah, well, the Queen’s a liar. And I don’t hate you.” Staring up at him, I felt a warm rush tingle under my skin. It spread from my chest, skittered down my arms and legs, heated my bare shoulders and back. How could I have feared looking at his ruggedly handsome face? Rowan wasn’t to blame here. I was the one acting bat-shit.

Realization hit me in the head like a flail to the temple. It spun my world off its axis and then righted itself again. Gods help us both, I was in love with him.

“Lexi?”

How had that happened? I was a champion at keeping my emotions out of my affairs. Men were satisfaction, comfort, strength, but I was self-sufficient. I didn’t need the love of a man. I was a freakin island. Damn him. Rowan had inched his way into my life and into my heart when I was alone and I had fallen for it. Gods, now I was a goner.

“Trouble? You okay?” His voice grew more forceful and I saw when he flipped into doctor mode and began examining me from across the bathroom.

“Marry me,” I choked. “Tonight. Before anyone can stop us. I’ll take Elani’s collar and stay with you. Ydorus and Estes can get her out of the palace and deep into the Earth ring where Terran has Coal hidden. You and I will stand together against my mother, Zale and her army. Let the chips fall as they may.”

As Rowan strode toward me that heat beneath my skin ignited in my veins. His massive upper body shifted, his muscles flexing side to side as he stalked ever closer. He didn’t blink. His gaze burned, fixed on me like the fire in him was about to consume us both. “I’d prefer if we weren’t the chips, if we can help it, but it’s not a bad plan.”

It was the way he said “plan” that seared through my heart.

“No,” I said, my voice breaking as I caught my breath. “I’m not suggesting you marry me to save my skin or to screw my mother. Rowan, I’m in love with you. We don’t have to act on it and I don’t know if you feel the same way, but, if we’re heading into this together that’s what I want. So . . . yeah . . . that’s all I got.”

Rowan opened his mouth to speak. Nothing came out. Pressing my thighs open he stepped against the counter. He was not gentle as he scooped my ass cheeks and pulled me against his straining fly. I moaned as his head dropped and he scorched a kiss down my neck.