This Time(16)

"See, there you go. We belong together like peanut butter and jelly."

Belle sighed, shaking her head. "Sticky and sweet. You seriously think we belong together?"

Spencer hesitated. "I want to."

"But deep down, in that inner place where your thoughts dwell when you're alone, or the pristine moments just before going to sleep, you don't believe I'm the one, do you?"

He leaned forward and stared at the porch floor, his jaw muscles knotting. "I love so many things about you, Belle."

"I love things about you too, but we both know that is not enough."

Neither one of them said anything for a long while. They sat on the swing, looking in opposite directions, cradling bowls of melting ice cream. Finally, Belle broke the silence. "After Burke abandoned me, I didn't think I ever wanted to fall in love again. But, I know now that I do."

Spencer set his bowl on the porch and slipped his arm around her shoulders again. "Then move on with me. Love me."

She glanced askance at him. "I do love you. And in your way, I know you love me. But it's not the kind of love that makes a marriage."

"Have your prayed about us?"

She held his gaze and answered his challenge. "Yes, I have. Many times."

"And?"

"And…" She shrugged, hesitating, searching for the right words. "My love for you is as a friend and brother in Christ. I believe that's all we are to be."

As much as she hated having this conversation, she knew it needed to happen. She adored Spencer, but the road of their relationship charted no detours to love and marriage.

"Then I have been wasting my time."

"Are we back to that? Tell me, counselor, how much time have you spent praying about us?"

"I've tossed a few prayers toward the Almighty."

"And?"

He shrugged, admitting, "Nothing really. Pretty much what you said, I reckon. I just never considered it His real answer."

Belle couldn't help but laugh. "You can't relate to God as a lawyer. He's not trying to win a case."

Silence fell between them again as they watched the fading Oklahoma sky.

Suddenly, he chuckled softly.

Belle turned to him. "Did I miss the something?"

He rubbed his chin. His brown eyes seemed to be smiling as he confessed. "I always imagined one day we'd look each other in the eye and wham, we'd fall in love. I suppose that's not very realistic."

"Oh, I don't know. It happens sometimes. Just not with us."

"You know, this actually feels good, doesn't it? We've defined our relationship."

Quietly, Duke called from the open window. "Belle, phone for ya."

She turned around, surprised. When did the phone ring? "Who is it Daddy? Can I call them back?"

Spencer patted her hand coolly. "Go ahead and take it. I have to get going. Early court date in Tulsa."

"Spence," she started, not wanting the evening to end with him feeling dejected.

He stepped off the porch, turned and flashed Belle his crooked smile. "I'm fine," he said as if he read her thoughts. "Talk to you later." Belle watched as he got in his truck, then waved as he drove away.

Duke met her as she stepped inside the door. "Everythin' okay?"

Belle nodded, tears stinging in her eyes. "Yeah," she said. "I'll take the call upstairs."

She picked up the hall phone. "Hello? Daddy, hang up, I got it."

"Hello, Belle, it's Burke."





Chapter Seven





Belle dropped into the seat of the old phone desk, her heart pounding like a symphonic drum.

"Hello," she said again, her voice cracking.

On the other end, Burke paused before asking, "How are you?"

So unlike him, Belle thought, to sound unsure. She answered without thinking. "Why do you care?"

"I guess I deserve that."

She felt the familiar tug of conviction. If she truly had forgiven Burke, if she truly believed she could press on to the high calling of God in Christ, she had to forget what her past held. Including the actions of Burke.

"No. No you don't," she said, "I'm sorry."

"So, how are you?" he tried again.

"Good, good, I'm good." Belle whacked herself in the forehead with the palm of her hand. Klutz! After being in the presence of the svelte, polished Grace, she must seem like a bumpkin.

"I'm glad," he answered.

The next minute went by without words.

"How's Grace?" Belle asked, wanting to say something, but not really wanting to know the answer to her question.

"She's doing well. She leaves soon for Australia to finish a film shoot."

"Australia. How exciting." What else could she say?

"How's your dad? I don't think he recognized my voice."

"No, he didn't. He's fine; workin' too hard."

"Sounds like your Dad."

"You remember old Chet Guthrie? We bought some of his land in order to expand our grazing acres. We're fixing to plant some new fences. Bought a couple of new Brahman bulls."