This Time(11)
Her head pounded with the barrage of words, their force invoking images from the past that swirled around in her mind.
I don't know, I don't know! She wanted to scream. She dashed through the gym doors and burst into the cool June air.
"Overwhelming, isn't it?"
Belle froze at the sound of Burke's voice, her back toward him. He must have been right behind her. He heard all the inquiries. "Burke, please-"
"I wanted to make sure you were all right."
"All the questions, you here with Grace..."
"I'm sorry I introduced you to her without talking to you first."
Belle faced him, hands on her hips, and asked cynically, "You think that would have made a difference?"
"Less awkward maybe."
A wave of boldness mixed with ire stirred within her. She stepped closer to him and glared into his face. "Twelve years, Burke. We haven't spoken in twelve years. You waltz back into town like we'd palled around yesterday, as if nothing horrible had ever happened between us."
"How would you want me to behave?"
"Like you were sorry." She drove the words at him like a hammer driving nails.
He answered with conviction. "I am sorry."
"Oh really?" Her voice trembled. "You have a strange way of showing it."
He ducked his head, his blue eyes staring at his snakeskin boots, his demeanor humbled. "I should have…"
"You're right, you should have. But you didn't. One call Burke, that's all I wanted. One call, explaining. But instead, I got silence. Me, your best friend."
She balled her fist as if she wanted to punch him, but she stopped. A childish punch would accomplish nothing. It would not heal her hurt, it would not change the past, it would not bring back the lost years. Tears burned in her eyes as she studied the impressive athlete she'd once loved so desperately.
"Enjoy the reunion, Burke," she murmured, and walked off into the night.
***
Saturday morning Belle woke up feeling weighted, dreading the second day of the reunion. She regretted her angry exchange with Burke. Was the anger and hurt still so alive beneath the surface?
She pulled her comforter from the bed and curled up in it on the seat under the bay window. For a long time, she stared out, watching as the day dawned, praying.
By the time she came down for breakfast, Duke and the Bar J hands, Jake Morley and Cole Mitchell, had completed the morning chores and gone into town for supplies.
Belle saddled up Trixie and rode over to the church. Pastor Mike kept the chapel door open all the time for people to come and pray - anytime, day or night. Over time, it had become a favorite place for her. She trotted along atop the appaloosa, guitar in tow, thinking and praying and asking the Lord for grace to face Burke.
Inside the cool, peaceful chapel, Belle spent the better part of an hour strumming and singing Psalms to the Lord. She loved the way music made the inspired words of King David come alive in her heart and drew her closer to her true Beloved.
Gratefully, after being in the presence of the Holy One and meditating on His great love, the issue of Burke became trivial and petty.
"Father," Belle prayed, "if You can forgive me for all I've done, and love me so much to send Your son Jesus to die for me, I guess I can endure Burke for a weekend and have fun at the same time."
She smiled at her words, knowing the God of the Universe delighted in her simple prayer, and answered. His peace, the peace that guarded her heart and mind, touched her soul.
"Today will be a good day," she said as she and Trixie galloped home, the soft summer breeze on their backs.
***
The class picnic and softball game that afternoon turned out to be hilarious fun. More than once, Belle doubled over with laughter as she watched some of her classmates bungle around on the ball field, their comical bantering the only successful hit in the game. She couldn't remember the last time she'd laughed so hard. Once she made up her mind not to let the past interfere with her present, she relaxed and had fun.
She even watched with amusement as Burke captured the day with his wit and humor over his clumsy softball playing. He missed grounders and struck out a couple of times. Spencer razzed him mercilessly.
Not to be outdone, Burke razzed him back and made cheesy excuses for his weak play. "The ball is too round," he claimed, sparking another round of laughter from the crowd in the stands.
His larger than life personality wove them together with a sense of camaraderie, melting away the years.
Belle maintained the peace the Lord blessed her with that morning. For the first time this weekend, she didn't have a knot in her stomach at the thought of seeing Burke.
Once, when he passed by, their eyes met, and she tried to say she was sorry for last evening's exchange with a glance and a grin. He obviously caught her meaning and tipped his head, smiling.
She sighed. Everything's different when you examine it under the light of Jesus.
Saturday evening the class gathered at the cozy Cheyenne Inn for a formal dinner. Already Belle found it hard to image that the next day would take them all their separate ways.
Meg, and the decorating team, had transformed the banquet room into a wonderland of candlelight and soft music.
"Meg, you're a marvel," Belle said when she arrived that evening, giving Meg a gracious hug.