This Time(17)

Burke chuckled softly. "I always hated planting fences."

"I remember," she said low into the phone.

The conversation faded into another minute of awkward silence. Burke finally cleared his throat and asked, "I'd like to get together sometime."

"I don't think so," she responded rapidly. As much as she wanted to heal the past with Burke, she dreaded the agony of digging it all up again.

"Belle, please."

"And say what, Burke?"

He sighed. "We have a lot to say, I think. Don't you?"

She bristled at his tone. "Maybe the time for saying things should've happened twelve years ago. I have nothing to say to you now."

"We can't go on like this forever," he said, sounding calm and in control.

"Why talk now? After twelve years? Did some mystical mark in time pass where we suddenly have to scour the past and clean our souls?" Belle stood, trembling. "What if I don't want to talk? I've worked hard to forget what you did to me."

"No chance for me to explain?" he said, a hopelessness echoing in his words.

"It's a little late for explanations, don't you think? I'm sorry, I'm just not ready to listen at the moment."

"I understand."

"Good night." With that, Belle dropped the phone onto the receiver.

She wrapped her arms around her waist, leaned against the wall, and cried. First Spencer, then Burke. Her emotions crumbled under the burden.

Duke called up the stairs. "Belle?"

"Yeah?"

"Ya okay? Who was that on the phone?"

"Burke."

"Burke? Well now, I didn't recognize his voice." Duke started toward her. "What'd he want?" He joined her on the floor by the antique phone desk.

"To talk."

Duke slipped his arm around her shoulders and cradled her in his arms. "'Bout time."

"I'm not reliving all that pain so he can feel better."

"Ah, Belle, now, ya need to talk as much as he does. Get all 'em unspoken words out of your heart. Maybe then ya could fall in love again."

Belle dropped her head into her hands, her rapid heartbeat slowing a little. "Burke is not the reason I haven't fallen in love again."

"I don't know 'bout that. It's what's been in my mind for a long time."

Belle eyed him between her fingers. "What's been on your mind?"

"You and Burke. Talking. Clearing the air. Don't ya want to know? Don't ya want to tell him how it hurt? This is a puzzle in your life that needs to be solved." Duke lowered his head to see her face.

Belle rested her chin on her knees. "I tried so hard to forget; I don't know if I can find the words. Besides, what good can come from solving the puzzle? It won't change anything."

Duke scratched his chin with thick, weathered fingers. "I'm not one for livin' in the past and hangin' my hat on life's disappointments, ya know that, kitten. But I am for healing hurts, askin' for and receivin' forgiveness. Talkin' to Burke ain't gonna change anythin', but it will close a door that's been standin' open too long."

"You're right. It's just weird, Daddy," Belle began, tenderness in her tone. "At the reunion softball game, I actually enjoyed being around him. I thought I'd gotten over the anxiety of seeing him. Then he calls tonight and all those old feelings and fears take control."

"Well," Duke said in his soothing tone, "then fix it. Talk to him."

She shifted her position and stretched her long legs out in front of her. "Next time I see him," she said dubiously.

"Keep seekin' the Lord, Belle. He's got a purpose here, I know it."

She dropped her head on Duke's shoulder. The overwhelming events of the evening caused tears to slip down her smooth cheeks. Quietly, she recounted her conversations with Spencer and Burke.

Duke listened, gently patting her shoulder from time to time, interjecting words of wisdom.

Finally, when she ran out of stories to tell, Belle kissed him lightly on the chin. "For moments like these, I bet you wished Mom was alive."

Duke chuckled. "Tears have always been a little rough for me, but I do enjoy helpin' ya with your problems. If Colleen were here, I'd miss all the good stuff."

Belle hugged her father. "You're the best, you know that?"

Duke grinned. "Know what, kitten, if Colleen were here neither one of us might love Jesus like we do - you singin' your songs to Him and me spendin' my extra time in prayer ev'ry day."

"It's amazing how He turns all thing for good."

Duke offered an analogy. "He gives beauty for ashes. Maybe this time He will draw a diamond out of the ashes of you and Burke."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"For a long time now, your relationship with Burke has been nothin' more than ashes and coal dust. I'm thinkin' the Lord is about to reach in that mess and bring out somethin' beautiful."

"I don't have your faith, Daddy. Not when it comes to Burke."

"You will, kitten, ya will," Duke said. Quietly he began to share his heart. "I used to be right mad at Burke, myself. He was just about the closest thing I ever had to a son. I raised him right along with you. Cheered at all his football games, shared holidays and birthdays."