Thicker Than Blood (Thicker Than Blood #1)(83)

“What the f*ck, Dori?” I whispered, glaring first at her, then over my shoulder at the tall man behind me.

Pressing one slender finger to her pursed lips, she grinned wickedly. Jerking her thumb over her shoulder, she began rolling down the hall. I glanced again to the man behind me who offered me a glare in return, showing no sign that he’d allow me to pass anytime soon. Letting out a frustrated sigh, I started after Dori down the hall.

Inside what I was assumed was the Cave was even eerier than the ghost town outside. There were eyes everywhere, peeking out at me from behind partially cracked-open doors, following me as I padded softly after Dori. The entire place smelled, not of garbage or mold, but of sweat and sex. Considering what I’d just been about to do, it was an unwelcome smell, only serving to remind me how low, and how weak, I really was.

“Where are we going?” I whispered.

“My room,” she responded simply.

At the end of the hallway we turned left, where two more men were waiting. Dutifully they picked her up, wheelchair and all, and ascended a nearby staircase. I followed lamely after her, still unsure and feeling uneasy as to why I was being forced to remain here.

When we reached the second floor, Dori quietly thanked the men and took control of her chair, wheeling herself along another hallway, this one much narrower and even darker than the first floor. Three doors in, Dori finally wheeled herself to a stop and pulled out a set of keys. Pushing open her door, she gestured for me to enter first. The room was pitch black, the only light coming from a small crack in the dark curtains.

“What do you want?” I asked, not hiding my annoyance.

“Come here, Wildcat,” she said, and I could hear the quiet swishing sound of her wheels spinning as she pushed herself toward the window.

Rolling my eyes, I followed her over, watching as she pulled back the curtain and let in the sunlight. “Take a look,” she murmured.

Blinking through the brightness, I peered out into the daylight, seeing nothing below but an empty camp, thinking again about how eerie it seemed, this loud and boisterous place suddenly so still. But I was also slightly awed at how quickly and proficiently they’d all worked together to keep this place safe and free from the infection.

“Look up,” Dori said, pointing her finger. Lifting my eyes, I followed her finger past the market place, past the fences, and looked out into the wide stretch of empty land surrounding us on all sides.

I saw something dark on the horizon, reminiscent of a storm cloud from far off in the distance. But this wasn’t a storm cloud, and it appeared to be moving. My eyes widened in realization as the words wall of death lodged in my throat.

“Infected,” I murmured, then clasped a hand over my mouth.

“Rotters,” Dori said, correcting me. “And yes, it is.”

Flustered, I looked down at her as panic rose in my throat. “We can’t just sit here and wait. They’re coming right for us!”

She shook her head, smiling kindly. “As long as we’re silent, as long as they don’t see or hear or smell us, they’ll pass us by.”

“But there’s hundreds,” I protested, glancing back at the horizon. “Thousands!”

“We’ve done this before, Wildcat. It’s never failed us. We work together to keep them out, to protect one another. We’re not as bad as you seem to think.”

I knew she was speaking, but words—any words—seemed irrelevant, not when there was a horde of infected headed our way. Far too many for any fence or any number of guns to keep them out.

“I need to get to Leisel!” I shouted, pushing past her, nearly tripping over one of her wheels.

“I can’t let you leave here,” she replied. “My men won’t let you leave, not until the horde passes. And it will pass. You will be safe.” Giving me a small smile, she continued. “No one goes outside when a horde is near, it’s for everyone’s safety.”

“But Leisel,” I said, feeling tears threaten. “What if she needs me?”

“She doesn’t need you, she has her man.”

Dori wheeled herself forward, toward a small bed in the far corner of the room. Patting the mattress, she smiled at me. “She’s safe with him, and you’re safe here with me. Come, lay down, rest a bit.”

Deep down, I knew Dori was right. She was only repeating the words I’d been telling myself all day, that Leisel no longer needed me. But I couldn’t stop the stomachache that not being with her at a time like this, not being there for her, was causing me.

And then it hit me, a realization that only deepened the empty, queasy sensation in my gut. Maybe Leisel never needed me. Maybe it was me who’d needed her all along.

No. I shook my head. No. She had needed me in the past…and I had needed her. I still needed her. I would always need her.

The only difference was now she had Alex, and I had been placed on the back burner.

With slumping shoulders and tears begging to be freed, I took Dori’s offered seat on her bed, and let my head drop into my hands.

“We’re all a little broken, Wildcat, it isn’t anything to be ashamed over. Just look how broken I am.” She laughed, a quiet, tinkling sort of noise. “You don’t have to go back to her, or to him. You don’t need to subject yourself to her happiness. You can stay here, I’ll look after you. We all will. We don’t ask much in return, just a bit of your body every now and then to help fill our bellies and keep us clothed.”