Thicker Than Blood (Thicker Than Blood #1)(84)

Sure that at any moment I was going to lose what little remained in my stomach, I lifted my head to look at her. “I’m sorry,” I said, my voice trembling. “That’s not who I am, I don’t do…that.”

But even I knew a lie when I heard one.

Dori was still smiling at me, a comforting and kind smile, but it was also a knowing one that made me feel exposed and uncomfortable.

“A strong woman knows what she is, Wildcat. And embraces it.” She smiled again.

My trembling hands curled into fists as I jumped up from the bed. Glaring down at her, I shook my head. “No,” I said through clenched teeth. “No, that’s not who I am. I’ll wait here only because I have to, but I won’t work here. I won’t be a whore for you or for anyone.”

Lifting her chin, Dori cocked her head to one side. “You have one man’s brand on your wrist, darlin’, yet I saw you with E, trading food for sex. Only reason I can reckon you’d be doing that is if your man isn’t really your man.”

Locking my jaw, I spun away from her and counted to ten before I attempted speaking again. “I’m no one’s whore,” I gritted out, facing her. “No one’s.”

“If you believe that,” she said, the blatant sarcasm in her tone making me even angrier. “But just remember, you’ll have to be the one to tell E that. And he isn’t a man to be turned away so easily.”

I shook my head. “I’m not afraid of him.”

She looked at me with sympathy, as if I was the poor deformed woman in the chair and not her. “You should be,” was all she said.

“I’ve met worse than him, worse than you,” I gritted out, though fear was building in my belly. The realization of what I’d almost done, with what kind of man I’d almost done it with, began to dawn on me.

“No, darlin’, you haven’t. There’s never been a man like him before. E is one of a kind.”

I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but the words wouldn’t come. Closing my mouth, I turned away from her, doing my best to ignore the welling panic rising inside me.

“E is a dangerous man,” she said. “He’s done things that…well, things that no man should ever have to do. But he’ll look after you, and if you’re good to him, he’ll be good to you. He could do with a good woman like you, and maybe you can tame him, Wildcat. Lord knows we’ve all tried. He doesn’t ask for much…” she said, her voice trailing off into a whisper as her gaze dropped to the floor.

My stomach churned as I watched shame flood her pretty features. What had he done to her?

Bending my knees, I placed my hands on either side of her wheelchair, forcing her to look up at me. “I already told you,” I said firmly. “I’m nobody’s whore.”





Chapter Thirty-Three



Leisel

“I can’t stay up here!” I insisted, trying not to shout. “I can’t stay up here not knowing whether she’s okay or not!”

Leaning over the countertop, staring out at the empty paths below our building, tears were streaming down my cheeks. We’d been ushered, forced actually, back inside our building, and there had been no time to search for Evelyn. Despite all my protests, the armed guards now stationed inside our building’s exits refused to let me pass.

I felt Alex’s body behind me as he aligned his torso against my back. Not for the first time, his arms came down around my waist, hugging me to him in an attempt to comfort me.

“There is no one out there,” he said pointedly. “She’s inside another building. She’s safe, Lei, I promise you.”

“But I never got to apologize,” I whispered, then swallowed another sob. “I said horrible things that I didn’t even mean, and what if something happens? What if the infected get inside the gates and it’s too late?”

“She knows you didn’t mean it. She knows you’re sorry.”

“You don’t know that!” My tears began to fall faster, harder, splatting across the stained plastic laminate. “You don’t know her like I do.”

“You’re right, I don’t know that,” he admitted. “Not for sure, but I have to believe it.”

I twisted my body, turning in his arms so we were facing each other. Looking up into his face, I shook my head. “Why do you have to believe it?”

“I just do,” he answered, averting his eyes.

I stared up at him in wonderment, seeing something I’d never seen before. There was a sadness in his eyes, in his downturned lips, in the way his shoulders had drawn in.

“Alex?” I whispered, placing my hand on his chest. “Talk to me.”

He shook his head, still refusing to look at me, and so I tugged on his shirt. “Alex, you’ve been there for me, let me be here for you. Talk to me, please.”

Releasing me, Alex stepped back, then turned away and faced the door. The muscles in his arms and back flexed while he shifted agitatedly from one foot to the other.

“My mom,” he said quietly, his voice cracking over the last word. “She didn’t come home one day. The infection hadn’t reached us yet…or so we’d thought. She’d just gone to a friend’s house to check on them, to drop off some food, and then she never came home. My dad and I were freaking out, calling everyone, trying to find her. We drove around for two days looking for her.”