The Story of Me (Carnage #2)(127)

*



Marley is sitting out the front of Jim and Lennon’s house when Benny drops me off after giving me a big cuddle and wishing me luck. I don’t need him to hang about, I’ll get a lift to Len’s office from one of my brothers.

I stand on the drive looking at my brother sitting on the bench beside the front door. It’s eight thirty in the morning and Marley’s sipping on what looks like bourbon, he tilts the glass towards me.

“Little sister Georgia.” I walk over to the bench and sit down next to him.

“Big brother Marley, little early ain’t it?” His arm is resting along the back of the chair and he drapes it over my shoulder and kisses the top of my head.

“It’s bourbon o’clock somewhere in the world, G.” I turn and study his face. He’s very good looking, my brother Marley, all my brothers are handsome but in different ways. Bails has that typical East End villain look about him, especially now that he shaves his head. There’s something a little bit rough and dangerous looking about him. Lennon looks like he’s just stepped off a catwalk or the cover of a magazine, very smooth and loves a designer suit, even on his days off, and Marley, my big brother Marley, has that dark and brooding rock star look about him. His hair is short and spikey and he has tattoos all over his arms, neck and body. All very different, but with the same dark eyes, and all very handsome, but at the end of the day, they’re just my big brothers and my best friends.

“What’s up, Marls? Why ya drinking bourbon this early in the day? You all right?” He lets out a long sigh and I lean away from him so I can see his face.

“Yes and no… I dunno. It’s hard, George, ya know?” His dark eyes meet mine, “I miss him. I’m sorry, George. Fuck, I’m sorry.” He covers his mouth with his hand and tries to compose himself. I hold onto my brother and let him know it’s okay to cry. “I got to hold his baby, George. I know he was dead, but I got to hold Beau and he never did, Maca never even got to see his boy, George. It’s not fair. It’s so not fair.” He sits up straight and knocks back his drink. “Ahhh, f*ck, George, what a wanker. I just want you to be happy, G. You’ve been through so much. I just want you to be happy and settled. Where’s the big bloke anyway? Scared we were all gonna give him shit coz of the newspaper stories?”

I shake my head. “Na, his little boy’s not well, so I told him to go be with him. I can do this on my own. I’ll just call him once we know.” We both stand up.

“Come on then. Let’s get this ‘piss on a stick’ party started,” Marley says, grabbing my hand and leading me into the house.



*



When I walk inside I see Jim, Len and Ash all sitting around the bench top in Jimmie’s huge kitchen. She looks up and smiles as she sees me come in.

She looks around me at Marley and frowns, asking, “Where’s TDH?”

I sigh, feeling pissed off that Cam’s not with me, and the fact that I’m now going to have to justify his choice to my family. I instantly feel like a complete bitch. I’m a grown woman. I can do this on my own. Harry’s just a little baby, who has an irresponsible mother. The least I can do is not sulk about his dad being with him.

“Harry’s not well. He’s had to drive over to see him.” Ash and Len are both looking at me now.

“And are you okay with that?” Len asks.

Before I can reply, Marley drops his arm over my shoulder and says, “Of course she is. She’s got all of us here.” I fold my arms across my chest. I know it’s a defensive move, but that’s what I feel like I need to do, defend Cam’s decision not to be here.

“He was all set to come, but I could see he was worried about Harry.” I look around the table at the three pairs of eyes on me. “Harry has no one else, except a psycho junkie mother. I have all of you. I told him to go.” Ash stands up and comes and gives me a cuddle.

“Well, I’d be disappointed in the bloke if he’d done anything different.”

I smile at Ash and shrug. “Thanks,” I tell her. There’re a few moments of silence, which is only awkward because it’s something that rarely happens when there’s more than one of us in a room together.

“Right, well, let’s do this.” Jim stands up and picks up a bag obviously containing home pregnancy tests. My mouth is so dry that I’m having a job to swallow. None of this feels real. It’s all been spoken about for so long; I’ve gone over it in my head so many times, and now here we are.

“You okay, George? You look a little pale.” I feel myself sway as I get this strange numbness rush through my legs.

“Shit,” I hear Marley say from beside me, sounding as though he’s underwater. I see Lennon getting down from his stool and start to move towards me. Everything seems to be happening in slow motion until my surroundings start to fade away. I know I’m fainting. I know there’s nothing I can do, but for a few seconds, I try to fight it anyway. I think it’s just instinct.

I feel something cold on my face and open my eyes. My head is pounding and my vision is blurred still. I blink a few times, trying to bring everything into focus. My eyes meet Jimmie’s worried stare as she wipes my face with a flannel.

“It’s been a bit of a weekend. What with Cam’s blow job and then Sean was trying to talk to me in the car.” Don’t ask. It’s obviously what must’ve been going through my brain and it just escaped out of my mouth. I watch as Jimmie looks from side to side without moving her head. She’s obviously hoping for some back up, but no one says a word.