The Story of Me (Carnage #2)(123)
“Why?”
I shrug and let out a long breath. “Coz apparently I’m a selfish prick.”
She smiles. “Good for Benny.”
“Oh, cheers.”
“You’re welcome.”
We stare at each other silently for a while, until I can’t wait any more. “I need to be inside you.”
She nods her head. “I need you to be inside me.”
I walk her backwards towards the bed, and as the backs of her knees hit the mattress, I lower her down, then swing her legs around. I drop the towel from my hips and climb onto the bed and position myself over her.
“I had such big plans for tonight, Kitten, but now I’m just gonna f*ck ya. No ifs, no buts, no foreplay, just f*ck.” I look down at her. “Don’t ever doubt me again.” She closes her eyes for a few seconds.
“I should’ve waited till I had all the facts. I’m sorry. You’d think I would’ve learnt by now.” She lets out a deep sigh.
“Shush, let’s f*ck. We’ll talk after.” She smiles at me and my heart bounces about all over the f*cking show inside my chest.
“Yeah, let’s f*ck,” she says. I’m hard and desperate as I slide inside her. She feels wet and warm. She feels like Kitten. She feels like home.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Georgia
I lay wrapped in Cam’s big strong arms in the middle of our big bed at the Wharf apartment. My head rests on his shoulder as I reach up and touch the four ugly claw marks on his left cheek. The marks I left. Marks caused by me and my temper. By me reacting before I’d gotten all the facts.
When I showered earlier, I was thinking I was going to sit down and talk to him about these allegations calmly, because in my head, I’m someone who can do that. In reality, however, this wave of anger just washes over me and it’s like I have no control. I just want to break something… Or someone. I study the red marks down to where they disappear into his beard. The beard he grew for me.
“I like your beard.” He looks down and gives me a small smile, and despite the epic f*ck session we’ve just spent the last couple of hours having, he still looks a little pissed off.
“I grew it for you.” Now I feel even worse. “I know how much you hate it when it’s stubbly, so I thought if I didn’t shave the whole time I was away, it should be past that stage by the time I got home.” I’m about to say thanks for thinking of me when he continues, “Good job I grew it really. Lessened the blow of your right hook and saved my cheek from being clawed through down to the bone by your nails.” I tilt my head back slightly so I can look at him.
“If you didn’t stick your dick in random women’s mouths, none of this would’ve happened.”
He shakes his head at me. “If you hadn’t have jumped into a taxi and performed your usual running away trick instead of staying and listening to what I had to say in Sydney, then I would’ve been sticking my dick in your mouth and not some random woman’s.”
I close my eyes. I don’t want to argue. I’m exhausted. The last thing I want to do is argue with the man I love. The man I’ve missed so much.
“Why’d you go running to him?”
“What?” I don’t know what he’s talking about. I didn’t run to anyone.
“You got Benny to drop you off at his old place. Why’d you go there?” I reach up and touch his face.
“It was the only place I could think of where I could be alone. I didn’t stay though.” I brush my thumb over his split and swollen lip. “As soon as I stepped inside and shut the door behind me, I knew it was wrong. I… It felt disrespectful to both of you. I shouldn’t have gone there. I’m sorry.” He strokes the back of my arm with his fingertips.
“It hurt. When I heard that’s where you’d gone, it hurt.”
I’m an emotional mess tonight and my voice trembles as I try to explain. “I didn’t go there to be closer to him. I don’t have to go there for that. I went there because it was the only place where I thought I might stand a chance of being left alone. Like I said, the press were waiting at our house and I thought they would be waiting here, too.” I shrug slightly. “I always carry the security swipes and keys for the loft on me, so I just thought I would go there, calm down and give myself time to think, but as soon as I stepped inside the front door, I knew it was wrong.” I feel his chest move as he seems to take in a deep breath.
“Benny’s right,” he says and kisses the top of my head.
“About what?” I ask and look back up at him.
“I am a prick. He’s dead. I’m alive, but I still get jealous.” It hurts my heart to hear those words, for more than one reason.
“You don’t need to be jealous, Cam.” He rubs his hand over his beard and shrugs.
“But I am.” I sit up in the middle of the bed and lean across to turn on the lamp, the one on the side that Cam sleeps, not the one I tried to use as a weapon earlier.
Cam sits up and leans his back against the headboard. We have been lying on the bare mattress with no pillows, just the duvet over us.
“Why are you jealous? I love you. You must know that.” His tongue flicks out and over the split in his lip, and despite the sex we’ve just had, my insides are clenching again right now as I watch his tongue in action. “Cam, do you understand? Do you realise what you mean to me?”