The Space Between Us(82)

“Well, I’ll be really glad to meet them tonight,” I said. My thoughts drifted to the children I would have had by now. My twins would be almost old enough to babysit Reeve’s children. If I had a daughter she would be here, shopping with us, looking through these racks with an eagerness only a preteen could muster. Would the twins have been it? Would there have been more? If Asher and I had stayed together, would there be more children?

“Hey, Charlie, we don’t have to talk about kids,” Reeve said with concern lacing her voice.

I exhaled loudly, both glad and sorry that Reeve could read my thoughts. There was no reason she needed to worry about me and she definitely shouldn’t feel bad for talking about her children.

“I’m sorry. Honestly, I try really hard not to think about kids. But being here, in Willow Falls, it sometimes sneaks up on me.”

“That’s understandable. Being around Asher probably makes you think about a lot of things you’ve tried hard to forget.” I looked up at her, meeting her eyes, and tried to remember a time when she had been this insightful. Reeve was a great friend all through school, and had always been able to see things that I couldn’t or didn’t want to. I don’t know why I was so surprised now.

I nodded, not sure what words would be suitable at that moment.

“You don’t have to pretend to be ok with me, Charlie. I feel like you’ve spent a lot of time in the last decade trying to act like everything was fine. And if you continue to do that, I’ll let you. But you don’t have to with me. I understand.” I looked up at her again and she was wearing a sad smile. Not full of pity or sorrow, but like she wanted so badly for me to reach out to her. “Don’t forget, Charlie, there was a time in my life where I felt so very alone and if you hadn’t been there for me I don’t know if I would have gotten through it. Please don’t push me away anymore.”

I took in her words, knowing they were true and heartfelt. I pushed everyone away and in that process I lost my father long before he died. If I hadn’t been so distant, if I had let other people in on my sadness, let other people help me, I might have been able to really have a relationship with him before he passed. That was the truth of the matter. I wasn’t a nineteen-year-old girl anymore. It was time to stop shutting people out, because soon enough, I would be more alone than I could imagine.

“My kids would have called you Auntie Reeve,” I said as I looked back down at a dress on the rack. “Sometimes, like now, I wonder if I would have had a girl if she would have liked shopping. I wonder if she would have been here with us, right now, looking at dresses and jewelry, asking me if she could get every cute thing she encountered.”

“She probably would be more like you,” Reeve replied. “A healthy and balanced girl who likes art, boys, playing in creeks and her parents.” The smile on Reeve’s face was warm and sincere.

“Perhaps,” was all I said in response. I felt like there was nothing left to say. I liked the picture we had painted of my angel baby.

“Oh, Charlie, this dress is perfect. Not too dressy, cute, but totally sexy.” She held up a cotton maxi dress, a coral color with an empire waist with a turquoise belt. She turned the hanger around and I caught the ‘sexy’ part. The back of the dress from the waist up was a sheer and delicate lace. I could easily cover it with a jacket if I wanted to, but it was very feminine and pretty. “Let’s try it on,” she said and walked back towards the dressing rooms.

I came out of the dressing room and Reeve’s eyes lit up.

“Yes, Charlie. You have to buy this. It’s gorgeous. The coral color is really pretty against your tan skin and dark hair. It’s beautiful.”

I turned to show her the back which was my favorite part. “I’ll need a strapless bra,” I said. Reeve flipped her hand in the air as if to say, ‘No problem’. “It is really pretty though.”

“Asher will love it,” Reeve said, not looking me in the eye anymore.

“I’m not trying to impress Asher.”

“Of course not, but it never hurts to look good around your ex-boyfriend.” I shot her a glare. I wasn’t sure how I liked the idea of Asher being my ex-boyfriend. I didn’t like that title for him. He was so much more than just a boyfriend back then. He was the love of my life, the person I was supposed to spend forever with. And even so, now he wasn’t just an ex, now he wanted to be my friend. That trumped the ex-boyfriend status anyway. “Are you ever planning on telling him what you saw that day?”

Her question caught me off-guard, it made my heart pump furiously in my chest.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“What difference would it make? What happened, happened. There isn’t anything we can do to change things, Reeve. Bringing up the past, throwing that in his face, it wouldn’t help anyone.”

“Talking to him about it might make you feel better. I’m not worried about him. I think talking about it would help you.”

“No. It’s not worth it. It would just cause problems.”

“I asked him about it,” Reeve stated. She calmly just dropped a bomb, like she’d confessed to eating the last piece of pizza or something.

“Please tell me you didn’t,” I begged. I knew she had though. She always prodded and poked and made people uncomfortable, even if she was just trying to help and do what she thought was right.