The Firework Exploded (The Holidays #3)(49)

Mom sighs and glares at him.

“Hey, that’s the best I can do. It’s been a very traumatic day for me,” he tells her, turning back to look at Sam. “We can just call it even. I’ll refrain from cutting off your dick, seeing as how you suffered enough by almost burning the damn thing off.”

Dad tries to hide a chuckle, but is unsuccessful, which earns him a side-eye glare from me and my mother. Thankfully, Sam doesn’t say anything and instead, wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me closer to him on the bed.

“Alright, are we ready to do this thing?” Nicholas asks, moving to the foot of the bed and looking between me and Sam.

We both nod and he clasps his hands in front of him.

“You want the short version, correct?”

Sam and I look at each other and smile, my eyes staying locked on his when I answer my brother.

“As short as possible, please. You never know when the ceiling will cave in or an earthquake or other natural disaster will hit with all of us in the same room at once.”

Everyone chuckles quietly until Nicholas’s face turns serious and he clears his throat.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here together, blah, blah, blah. Sam Stocking, do you?” he asks.

“I do,” Sam replies, my eyes filling with tears at how quickly and confidently he answered.

“Noel Holiday, do you?”

I nod my head, my smile growing wider as I stare into Sam’s eyes.

“I do.”

“By the power vested in me through the interwebs, I now pronounce you, Mr. and Mrs. Holiday-Stocking. Quite possibly the cheesiest last name in the history of the world, and I hope to God you don’t hyphen it legally,” Nicholas announces. “Sam, you may now kiss your bride.”

I lean toward Sam, but he pulls his head back before we can kiss.

“Sorry, I know we agreed on the short version, but I just need to say a few things first.”

Moving his arm from around my waist, he presses both of his palms against my cheeks, holding my face in his hands.

“I had an entire page of vows written to say to you, but they were in my pocket and burned when my dick caught on fire,” he tells me with a small smile.

“It’s just a flesh wound,” my father mutters with a laugh from the side of the bed in his horrible British accent.

My mother smacks him upside the back of his head, and Nicholas hands her a box of Kleenex from the table behind him when she sniffles as Sam ignores everyone in the room, keeps his eyes on mine, and continues.

“So, here’s the short version of my vows. I love you because of your family, not in spite of them. I love you because for the first time in my life, I actually have a family even if they’re crazy, and you gave that to me, Noel. You love me more than I ever thought anyone would and you gave me a family,” he whispers, wiping a tear that falls down my cheek with his thumb. “I will happily deal with our family and the chaos that follows them for the rest of my life, because you are worth every messy, loud, insane, firework to the dick moment. I love you, Mrs. Holiday-Stocking, more than anything.”

I sigh, along with every woman in the room, lifting my hands and pressing them against Sam’s that continue to cradle my face.

“That was so much better than what I wrote. My vows didn’t go up in flames, but I think I left them back at the house when I got distracted by fanning my vagina and then you distracted me even more when you pushed me against the wall and unloaded all that pent up—”

“Stop!” My dad interrupts me, his hands flying up to cover his ears. “I’m not allowed to threaten his life anymore now that he finally bought the cow and can get milk whenever he damn well pleases, but that doesn’t mean I won’t lose my shit all over this hospital and make a spectacle of myself if you talk about it right in front of me!”

I roll my eyes when my father finishes with a huff and crosses his arms in front of him, choosing not to make a comment about how he referred to me as a cow. Again.

“Fine, short and clean version,” I quickly continue. “I loved you from the first moment I met you in that airport bar at Christmas. I loved you for making me want to get married when I always thought it was something I never wanted. I loved you for making me realize I only thought I didn’t want it, just because I’d never met the right person. You’re my right person, Sam. I loved you even when I went crazy and refused to move in with you because I thought we didn’t know each other well enough to take that step. I loved you for proposing to me a second time because I went crazy and thought the first one didn’t count.”

My mother blows her nose loudly and I lean toward Sam, pressing my forehead against his. I continue with the rest of what I want to say as fast as I can before I start ugly crying.

“I loved you when I thought your penis would never work again and I knew I’d love you forever even if that turned out to be true. I loved you when I thought my family was killing you with high blood pressure and I went crazy trying to keep you calm and relaxed. I loved you every time we were stupid and didn’t talk about our feelings or problems and it made us both crazy. I loved you even when I sat in your pee and threw a pee-covered toilet seat at your head.”

Scheva groans and Alex sighs.

“See, even Noel and Sam are into Golden Showers. I don’t understand what your hang-up is?” Alex grumbles.