The Breakdown(23)

It used to happen to Mum all the time. She’d be

there, nodding away at things I was saying, offering her

opinion, even making suggestions, but a few minutes

later she couldn’t remember anything that we’d said at

all. ‘I must have been away with the fairies’, she’d say.

‘Periodic amnesia’ the nurse who came to check on

her called it. Was that where I had been, away with the

fairies? For the first time in my life, fairies seem like evil creatures.

The Breakdown





81


*


Hannah and Andy arrive a little after twelve-thirty, and

it’s not long before the conversation inevitably turns to the murder.

‘Did you see that the police are appealing for people

to come forward in relation to that young woman’s

death?’ Hannah says as she passes a plate to Matthew.

‘Don’t you think it strange that nobody has?’

‘Maybe, but I don’t suppose many people take that

road late at night,’ Matthew says. ‘Especially when

there’s a storm going on.’

‘If I’m coming back from Castle Wells, I take it all

the time,’ says Andy cheerfully. ‘Day or night, storm

or no storm.’

‘So where were you last Friday night?’ Matthew asks

and when they all start laughing I want to scream at

them to stop.

Matthew catches sight of my face. ‘Sorry,’ he says

quietly. He turns to Hannah and Andy. ‘Did Cass tell

you she knew her?’

They stare at me.

‘Not very well,’ I say quickly, cursing Matthew for

mentioning it. ‘We had lunch together once, that’s all.’

I close my mind to the image of Jane shaking her head

reproachfully at my quick dismissal of our friendship.

‘I’m so sorry, Cass, you must feel terrible,’ Hannah

says.





82


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‘Yes, I do.’ There’s a short silence where nobody seems

to know quite what to say.

‘Well, I’m sure they’ll catch whoever’s responsible

soon,’ Andy says. ‘Somebody somewhere must know

something.’

I manage to get through the rest of the afternoon but

as soon as they’ve gone I wish they’d come back. Their

constant stream of chatter may have been exhausting but

it’s preferable to the silence that leaves me too much time to think about the things tumbling around in my mind.

I clear the table and carry the plates into the kitchen

and as I walk in through the door I stop in my tracks,

staring at the window I hadn’t remembered closing

yesterday, before I’d gone up for my bath. Because now,

when I think about it, when I’d been making the curry,

the back door had been open – but not the window.

MONDAY JULY 27th

After Matthew leaves for work, I’m unnerved by the

sense of abandonment I feel, but I can finally make the

phone call I’ve been dreading. I find the piece of paper

where I jotted the phone number down and, as I’m

looking for my bag, the phone starts ringing.

‘Hello?’

There’s no reply so I presume whoever it is has lost

their signal. I hold on for another ten seconds, then

hang up. If it’s Matthew, I know he’ll phone again if

he needs to.

I run upstairs to fetch my purse, push my feet into

some shoes and leave the house. I had thought about

driving into Browbury or Castle Wells and using one

of the payphones there but it seems a bit extreme when

there’s one five minutes up the road, near the bus shelter.

As I approach the payphone, I feel as if someone is

watching me. I look to the right and left, then turn

Title: The Breakdown ARC, Format: 126x198, v1, Output date:08/11/16





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and look surreptitiously behind me. But there’s no one

around, just a cat sunning itself on a low stone wall. A

car drives past; lost in her own thoughts the woman

driver doesn’t even look my way.

In front of the phone, I read the instructions – because

it’s years since I used one – fish for a coin in my purse and with shaking fingers push a pound into the slot. I take out my mobile and go into my notes, where I’d typed in the number to call. I punch it into phone, my

heart racing, wondering if I’m doing the right thing.

But before I can change my mind, my call is answered.

‘It’s about Jane Walters,’ I say breathlessly. ‘I passed

her car in Blackwater Lane at eleven-thirty and she was

still alive.’

‘Thank you for coming forward.’ The woman’s voice

is calm. ‘Could I—’ But I’ve already put the phone

down.

I leave quickly, hurrying down the road towards the