The Breakdown(22)
Remembering how I had suddenly run off to meet
Rachel, I can’t help feeling a little guilty.
‘Let me guess – Andy wants you to play tennis this
morning,’ I say when Matthew comes back upstairs.
‘No, he wanted to know what time we’re expecting
them.’ He looks quizzically at me. ‘I didn’t realise you’d invited them today.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Just that you didn’t mention it was today they were
coming for a barbecue.’
Title: The Breakdown ARC, Format: 126x198, v1, Output date:08/11/16
78
b a paris
‘It isn’t.’ Sitting up, I take one of the pillows from his side of the bed and put it behind my back. ‘I said they must come round but I didn’t say when.’
‘Well, Andy seems to think it’s today.’
I smile. ‘He’s having a joke with you.’
‘No, he was deadly serious.’ He pauses. ‘Are you sure
you didn’t invite them today?’
‘Of course I am!’
‘It’s just that you did the garden yesterday.’
‘What’s that got to do with it?’
‘Just that Andy asked me if you’d managed to get the
place tidied up. Apparently, you told Hannah that if they came for a barbecue, it would be a good excuse to get the garden into shape.’
‘Then why didn’t they know the time? If I’d arranged
something with Hannah I would have said the time.
She’s got it wrong, not me.’
Matthew gently shakes his head. The movement is so
subtle I nearly miss it. ‘I managed to hide the fact that I didn’t have a clue what he was talking about and said twelve-thirty.’
I look at him, appalled. ‘What, so they’re all coming?
The children too?’
‘I’m afraid so.’
‘But I didn’t invite them! Could you phone Andy
back and tell him there’s been a mistake?’
‘I could, I suppose.’ Another pause. ‘As long as you’re
sure you didn’t tell them to come today.’
The Breakdown
79
I stare at him, trying not to let him see how unsure
I suddenly feel. Even though I can’t actually remember
inviting Hannah and Andy today, what I do remember
is Hannah saying, just as I was leaving, something about
Andy looking forward to seeing Matthew. My heart
sinks.
‘Look, don’t worry,’ Matthew says, watching me. ‘It’s
no big deal. I can always pop out and buy a few steaks
to throw on the barbecue. And some sausages for the
children.’
‘We’ll need to make couple of salads as well,’ I say,
feeling near to tears because I really don’t feel up to
having them round, not with my mind full of Jane. ‘And
what about dessert?’
‘I’ll buy some ice cream from the farm shop when I
go for the meat. And Andy said that Hannah’s bringing
a birthday cake – apparently it’s his birthday tomorrow
– so there’ll be plenty.’
‘What time is it now?’
‘Just gone ten. Why don’t you have your shower while
I make some breakfast? We won’t be able to have it in
bed though.’
‘It doesn’t matter,’ I say, trying to hide how depressed
I feel.
‘And then I’ll do the shopping while you make the
salads.’
‘Thank you,’ I mumble gratefully. ‘I’m sorry.’
His arms come around me. ‘Hey, you’ve got nothing to
apologise for. I know how tired you are at the moment.’
80
b a paris
I’m glad to be able to hide behind the excuse but
how long is it going to be before he says something to
me, because coming on top of having forgotten he was
going away on Monday, this fiasco over the barbecue
is one thing too many. I go through to the bathroom,
trying to ignore the voice in my head – you’re going mad, you’re going mad, you’re going mad. It would be so much easier to pretend that Hannah, wanting to come round for a barbecue, had decided to manipulate an invitation.
But that’s not something she’d ever do and I’d be mad
to even think it. Anyway, what about my obsession to
get the garden looking perfect? I’d been so sure that it
was just a way of distracting myself, of keeping myself
busy, but maybe somewhere in my brain, I knew that
I’d invited them.
Thinking back, I can guess what happened. I’d been
so distracted by the talk of Jane, I’d only been half
listening to what Hannah was saying by the end of our
chat. Maybe it was then, during those lost minutes, that
I’d invited Hannah and Andy to come today.