TABOO: THE COMPLETE SERIES(38)

“Don’t say that.”

“I couldn’t let them put me through chemo again,” she explained. “You know that. Maybe that’s weak but it’s what I want.”

“So, you opted to die here instead?”

“I would have died either way.”

“There was a chance…”

“Come on, Trey. You’re not that na?ve.”

“I can’t watch you die!”

“Then don’t.”

She paused.

I realized she meant it.

I grabbed her hand and kissed it. “I’m not leaving you alone like he did,” I said. “There’s no way.”

“Don’t be angry at him, Trey.”

“How can I not be angry?” I said. “That guy toyed with your emotions all your life! He took you away from me, from us! And then… he fucking split the minute he smelled trouble? Would you have done that to him?”

“I don’t know what I would have done,” she said. “All I know is that he’s weak. And that’s fine. That’s who he is. We all have our faults.”

“A marriage is about commitment. It’s not some magical thing that is hard to understand! It’s about making a promise and keeping it.”

“Trey?”

“Yeah?”

“Will you promise me something?”

“Sure.”

“I don’t know what’s going on in your life,” she said. “I know you made some sacrifices for me. You did before when I got cancer for the first time and you did it again this time… and I love you for that, Trey. But I’m dying. In some time, it’s all going to be over. And whatever that horrible man has been holding over your head, I want you to be free. You can’t live your whole life in slavery. You’re my brother, Trey. I want you to be happy. Even if I look down on you from up there, I want to see that. I don’t you want you working for the man who ruined our lives.”

Suddenly, she went silent.

It wasn’t regular silence, there was something wrong I knew it. The machines around her started beeping as her vitals went out of whack and slowly the room was filled with an army of hospital staff that had gathered to help and I had been pushed way behind to the back of the room. No matter how much I hoped for a different outcome I knew what was going on when I saw their faces before they even said a word. I’d been around enough deaths to know what was happening. My heart was heavy and my body wanted to sink to that floor but I forced myself to stand. I forced myself to go through the motions, and I forced myself to touch her one last time before she left.

I want you to be free.





JAKE


The first time my life changed was when my father asked me to give a blowjob to some guy we barely knew. I was fourteen. We were in that same house where we grew up, watching my mother get tortured and beaten until cancer took her from us. Maybe God thought it was enough. Maybe cancer was merely an excuse and she had given up a long time ago and didn’t wish to carry on. But she was gone and we were left behind, Colton and me and of course the man we called ‘Dad.’ I don’t know how it all started. I just remember coming back late from a friend’s birthday party and finding a bunch of strange men in the house. It wasn’t the first time it was happening so I wasn’t too concerned. My father was always having people over even though he couldn’t afford it.

Most of his friends were alcoholics or junkies, people who cared nothing about their own families but then I started noticing all kinds of men coming over and I noticed them being nice to me and I didn’t know why until much later. Some of them, I liked, others, not so much. The first time I had to go down on a guy it was disgusting and I puked but he didn’t seem to care and when he came in my mouth I was sick for days. The first time it happened it caught me off guard. When Dad saw that he had a possible lucrative business on his hands, he stopped doing even the few hours of work he did and he would just roam around drinking and being generally pathetic all day with his friends, who were no different than him, or he would be home, cursing and drinking and being a nuisance to me and Colton.

The only thing I was looking forward to, was Colton finishing high school. I knew what uprooting would do to him. After everything that he had been through, everything we had been through I wanted Colton to have some form of stability. He had friends, and he always got good grades. I kept this whole shit away from him where I always thought he’d be safe from it. Maybe I was wrong to think that the random blowjobs and groping were the only limits my father would cross. I heard him talking to this guy once and when I confronted him of course he hit me and after he had calmed down a little, he told me I was going to lose my virginity to some guy he had lined up. I knew about it, but like most things in my life I was in denial. At least Dad was following the one thing he said he would, he wasn’t coming near my brother and that was good enough for me.

Cross that bridge when we come to it, I kept telling myself but that bridge came sooner than I had ever imagined and everything that came with it meant my brother had to get involved so Dad didn’t keep his end of the bargain. I’d moved too slow. It was my fault Colton was here and I had to fix this for him.

The door opened and they walked in, Stoll and the other guards with him and they dragged me out of that room and took me outside. But instead of taking me to my room, they dragged me to the next room and pushed me inside without a word of explanation. But when I saw Colton, I needed none.