Stranger Than Fanfiction(72)
“I can’t ride bitch today,” Cash said when he got to the car. “Someone needs to switch places with me.”
“I’ll do it,” Joey said, and climbed into the back of the station wagon with the luggage.
“Cash, no offense, but you look like shit,” Mo said.
“Maybe that’s because I feel like shit, genius,” he said. “I’m out of sinus medication and I woke up with a fucking migraine.”
“Do you need us to stop and get you something?” Sam asked from the driver’s seat.
“All I need is silence,” Cash snipped. “Can we all be quiet in the car today? Is that allowed?”
“Um… sure,” Topher said. “We can do that.”
“Good,” the actor said.
The others stared at Cash in disbelief. It was like a demon living inside of him had taken the reins.
“What are we waiting for?” he griped. “Let’s get this fucking show on the road.”
They drove for three hours in total silence per the actor’s request. Cash ferociously chain-smoked the entire way and popped gummy bears into his mouth every fifty miles or so. He kept his eyes shut most of the ride, too, and only opened them when he was lighting a cigarette or searching for gummies in his backpack.
At noon, the station wagon arrived at the Petrified Forest National Park. They exited Interstate 40 and drove down a long curvy road through the scarlet badlands of the Painted Desert and the indigo-striped hillsides of the Blue Mesa, and followed the signs leading to the Jasper Forest to see the petrified wood. The national park was so unique Topher, Joey, Sam, and Mo thought their car had taken a turn and wound up on another planet altogether. About twenty miles into the park, the car pulled into a viewpoint overlooking the Jasper Forest. It was a small canyon sprinkled with tree logs that had fossilized into multicolored stone over the course of several millennia. The Downers Grove gang got out to take pictures of the rare phenomenon while Cash stayed in the car so the park ranger wouldn’t catch him smoking. Sam read the information on a stand set in the center of the viewpoint.
“The Jasper Forest is home to many pieces of petrified wood,” he read. “The petrification process most commonly occurs after wood is burned by volcanic ash and constrains the wood from decomposition due to lack of oxygen. Flowing water then deposits minerals in the plant’s cells, forming a stony mold in its place. These are the fossilized remains of terrestrial vegetation stretching back to the Triassic period, approximately two hundred and thirty million years ago.”
The last bit of information must have struck a chord with Cash because the actor got out of the car to see the fossilized wood for himself. He climbed down into the canyon and fell to his knees at the first petrified log he found. The actor placed his hand on the log and began to weep uncontrollably. He cried so hard tears and snot dripped down his face, like he was kneeling at the tombstone of an old friend.
Topher, Joey, Sam, and Mo couldn’t figure out what was causing his bizarre mood swings. Still, they all kneeled beside the actor to offer him their support.
“What’s wrong, bud?” Topher asked.
“I just can’t believe how long this has been here…,” the actor cried. “It’s overwhelming when you think about it.… Somehow this wood has stood the test of time beyond anything else we know.… It was here hundreds of millions of years before us and it’ll be here for hundreds of millions of years after us.… It’s a little certainty in such an uncertain world.… None of us even know what tomorrow will bring.… None of us know what’s next.…”
The actor rested his head on the petrified wood and continued crying. Although he wasn’t making much sense, the Downers Grove natives realized where all the emotion was coming from. After a week of being criticized, analyzed, insulted, humiliated, and vilified by every news source, radio station, talk show, magazine, and gossip blog on the planet, Cash Carter was finally having the breakdown the media all wanted. It was possibly the most human moment the actor had ever experienced, and unfortunately for the tabloids, no one was there to catch him in the act.
Once they finished exploring the Petrified Forest, the Downers Grove gang journeyed farther west toward the Arizona Meteor Crater. At four o’clock they exited the interstate and ventured down another winding desert road to the site of the prehistoric impact. From the parking lot the attraction just looked like a rocky hill, but once they climbed up to the observation deck surrounding the crater, they stared down at the enormous hole in awe. It was nearly a mile wide and several hundred feet deep.
“This is incredible!” Sam said. “I had no idea how big it would be!”
“That’s what she said,” Joey joked. “But I know, right? It’s like God just scooped out a piece of the earth with a giant ice cream scooper.”
“Finally, something on this road trip that doesn’t disappoint,” Mo said. “I was afraid this would just be a glorified pothole.”
“Some scientists think this was the meteor that killed all the dinosaurs,” Topher informed the group. “Can you imagine how hard the ground must have shaken on impact?”
Cash wasn’t as interested in the attraction as the others. He skulked to the far end of the observation deck and lit another cigarette. Meanwhile, Topher, Joey, Sam, and Mo took selfies, group pictures, and panoramas of the crater. They posted their pictures on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat—grateful to finally have something worth sharing.