Stranger Than Fanfiction(44)
“I’ll take a Manhattan on the rocks,” Brian said.
Joey had no idea what the hell a Manhattan was, but it sounded refreshing. “I’ll take the same,” he said.
“Can I see your ID?” the bartender asked.
Sheer panic hit Joey’s face like a deer in front of a semitruck. It only lasted a moment though as Joey remembered he still had the fake ID Cash had given him in his pocket. He took it out and handed it to the bartender.
“I’ll be right back with your Manhattans,” he said, and went to the other side of the bar to make them.
“Is that a Missouri driver’s license?” Brian asked.
“Oh… yeah,” Joey said. “That’s where I’m from originally.”
“You look different in your photo,” Brian pointed out. “Can I see it?”
Before Joey could slip it back into his pocket or come up with an excuse as to why he didn’t want to show it to him, Brian had already taken the ID and given it a better look than the bartender had. All Joey’s high hopes for the night suddenly came crashing down.
“Hemi?” Brian asked. “Why are you carrying a fake ID?”
“I—I—I can explain.”
“Did you lie about your age?” Brian said, and then looked around the bar in panic. “Wait—am I about to be arrested? Is Chris Hansen about to jump out somewhere with a camera crew?”
“No—relax, I’m eighteen!” Joey said.
“Eighteen?” Brian said. “Oh my God—I’ve been flirting with an eighteen-year-old! I feel like one of those dirty old predators. I need to go.”
Brian was visibly shaken and stood to leave, but Joey grabbed his arm before he could walk away.
“Wait—please don’t go,” he pleaded. “I’m sorry I lied, but I’m not a deceitful person. I was just desperate to meet someone and didn’t want anyone I know to find my profile, so I exaggerated some things.”
The bartender placed their Manhattans on the counter and then hurried away to avoid whatever uncomfortable exchange was happening between them.
“Can we just have a drink and get back to where we were before you saw my ID? I don’t know when I’ll get another chance to do this. Please?”
The tense expression in Brian’s eyes faded into sympathy. He wasn’t looking down at a guy from an app anymore, but at a memory.
“You’re still in the closet, aren’t you?” he asked.
For the first time in his life, Joey’s superior deflecting skills abandoned him. It was a lot harder to lie to someone when his honesty didn’t come with a major consequence.
“Yeah,” Joey confessed.
“And I’m guessing you’re still a virgin, too?”
Joey couldn’t bring himself to say it, so he just nodded. Brian glanced around the bar, as if trying to find Joey’s chaperone. Someone needed to talk to this kid.
“You know what, let’s have a chat,” Brian said, and took a seat. “You probably don’t want to get a lecture from the guy you were hoping to sleep with, but I wish I had someone to talk to me about this when I was your age. Tell me, why would you want to lose your virginity to a total stranger? Wouldn’t you rather wait for someone special?”
“I’d rather just get it out of the way so I don’t have to think about it anymore,” Joey said.
“That’s your hormones talking,” Brian said. “Those little bastards will do anything to get you to spread your seed—that’s a biological fact—but you can’t let them overpower your common sense. It’s practically impossible not to when you’re young, horny, and live in an oversexualized society. Hell, even Instagram turns into a digital red light district after a certain hour—how can you not be tempted?”
“Dude, we just met on a hookup app,” Joey reminded him. “Are you seriously giving me an abstinence talk right now?”
“Not the point I’m trying to make,” Brian said. “Look, sex is the fucking best, but it can also be the fucking worst if you’re not careful. Your first time could potentially set the tone of your sex life. If you don’t start off with a decent experience or don’t go into it respecting yourself, it could lead to some really bad habits. You don’t want to become one of those guys with fulfillment issues who jumps into bed with every guy they meet—believe me.”
Brian downed his Manhattan in one gulp like he was washing away a bad memory.
“We’re not hooking up tonight, are we?” Joey asked.
“Absolutely not,” Brian said. “You’re going to be talking about your first for the rest of your life. The last thing you want to do is look back with regrets or feel like someone unworthy is walking around with a piece of your soul. Trust me, I learned that the hard way. If I could do it all over again, I would lose it to a friend I knew I could trust, someone I could be safe with and laugh about it with later.”
“I think I appreciate what you’re saying,” Joey said. “But it’s more complicated than that. My dad’s a well-known pastor and I’m going to a Baptist college next year. It’s hard to think of a scenario that wouldn’t get back to him aside from doing it with a stranger—and I’m not ready for my family to know.”