See How She Falls (The Chronicles of Izzy #3)(58)

Isadora had told me once that I would’ve been happy, that I would lead my life in blissful glee with my family. Yet, I’d thought my place was there, helping with the Seers. What did I have to show for it? I’d lost so much. Kennan, my parents, even myself. I was left with nothing and it was all because I’d made the wrong decision.

But now it was too late. I’d made my bed and now I’d have to pay the consequences. Kennan’s death was on my hands. The world had lost something beautiful because I’d given everything to fight an unwinnable battle.

“Why can’t I just die?” I screamed out to the heavens as a sob wracked my body. I wanted to fade away, to be with him. At least then, this might have all been worth the price.

“You must pay for the gifts you were given.” A voice whispered through the air.

“I never asked for this!” I shouted, trying to keep myself together.

“Yet you were given, none the less. Now, you must endure the cost of what was given to you.” Uriel’s voice rang out.

“How long must I endure this? How long must I journey between planes, never finding refuge? This seems a worse hell than any the demon might have brought forth.”

“Yours is a life of wonder, Izzy. You will not die.” Uriel came into view, standing over me a flaming visage.

“I will never see an end," I whispered, afraid.

“All things see an end. Perhaps when this world is no more, you too shall be free.”

“Why must I pay for something that I never asked for?” I longed for some sort of answer, something that would help to make sense of it all.

“You are not the only one paying for Aberto’s actions," Uriel promised, doing nothing to ease my pain.

“So, you are telling me that me being like this is some form of demented punishment for him?”

“All actions have consequences, Izzy," Uriel breathed, as if I’d become a nuisance.

“Fuck you and your consequences!” I yelled, ripping myself from the house and back into the dreaming. I’d had enough. I could see why people would turn against the world. I now understood why Aberto had disappeared for so long. It had all been for nothing. Every gain, every loss, every lesson learned was all for naught.

As I drifted into the fog to be lost, one thought crossed my mind. The Council members. I’d seen them, in the demon’s eyes. They’d been behind it the whole time, using Emmanuel as some sort of puppet to do their bidding. If I had anything left in me, I would care. Now, after I’d given everything I had, it meant nothing. Let the world burn. Let man turn against man. It was an endless, unwinnable battle. Pointless.

I breathed a goodbye to the world I’d known. I was Izzy Boone no more, that girl died right alongside Kennan on the battlefield. Every part of me that had loved, that had lost, everything that made me who I’d been, was gone. My life should have ended. I should have fallen, and so fall I would into the deepest chasm the dreaming had to offer. I would wait there for the end of time. I was no more.

“Hello, oblivion," I whispered, falling back into the endless swirling vortex of the dreaming. As the darkness closed in, I was finally greeted with some respite. Numbness cascaded over me as I sought out the darkest corner the dreaming had to offer.





Chapter Thirty


Molly



“What do you mean he’s dead? How in the hell did you people let that happen?” I shouted into the phone. I knew we should’ve gone with them to the Order. I’d been too concerned with Ian’s delicate situation and I hadn’t been there for my friends when they needed me the most. “Where’s Izzy? What happened?”

“I will come and explain everything.” Aberto’s voice sounded drawn on the other end. Like I gave a rat’s ass how he felt. He’d been the one that got Izzy caught up in this whole mess to begin with. If it hadn’t been for him tampering with the laws of humanity, Izzy would still be safe at the Council with their help instead of with the crazy witchdoctors in the swamp.

“Well, come on then. Poof yourself here.” I slammed the phone shut, fighting the urge to throw it against the wall. Too much had happened over the past year.

“Is it true?” Ian asked from my side. His voice strained, barely masking the tears that threatened to burst the dam at any moment.

“Kennan’s gone. Aberto’s on his way to tell us what happened now," I said with ruthless efficiency. I couldn’t let my emotions get the best of me. I had to stay focused until I knew what was really going on.

“I should’ve been there.” Ian got up from the couch and began to pace. “I should’ve manned up and gone with my brother. He’s always had my back and the one time he needs me, I flake out.”

“What could you have done? You being there wouldn’t have changed a durn thing and you know it. Kennan knew what it meant for you to go back there, to the Order. He wouldn’t have asked that of you.” I swore under my breath. If there was one thing I’d learned about Ian over the past year, it was that he held onto stuff tightly and for immeasurable amounts of time. I knew he’d never forgive himself for not being there.

“It should have been me, not him," Ian choked out.

I rose from my seat, reaching up on the tiptoes to slap him across his stupid dense face. “Don’t you dare ever say anything that dumb again, do you understand me?”