See How She Falls (The Chronicles of Izzy #3)(55)

The world stopped as I stared in abject horror. Time seemed to slow as the pieces of the man I loved drifted to the ground, taking my heart with him. My entire world, all that mattered, dropped to the ground like so much refuse. Kennan wasn’t supposed to die. Kennan was supposed to live, to survive this hell. I was the one that should’ve died. Never Kennan. Not him. Shock rooted me in place as the pieces finally hit the ground, speeding time up with their impact.

His body lay discarded on the ground as if he were nothing more than an obstacle in the demon’s way. The man I loved couldn’t be gone. This couldn’t be real. He was supposed to live.

“He’s not supposed to die," I whispered as tears began to stream down my face.

A high keening sound erupted from my lungs as I felt myself begin to pull apart. Pain ripped through my limbs as everything that had been taken from me rushed to the surface. I let the anger I’d been trying so hard to repress take me over. I didn’t want to live. Not in a world where he did not exist. I let the blue fired engulf me as I moved toward the demon. The pain of the burning buoyed me as I resolved myself to end it all.

Sonneillon stopped in his tracks. His voice echoed in my head, shredding through my defenses. “You could not even protect the man you loved. How do you expect to defeat me? You were never strong enough.”

I moved towards him as the fire grew inside of me, ripping away the person I’d been. I could feel the world slipping away as I moved toward the demon. He was right, I wasn’t strong enough to protect Kennan. But I was strong enough to do this, to end everything so that he could never again return. As the pain grew to an apex, I reached out for the demon. I would never let him take someone away again. The loss I felt exploded within me, and I vowed to never let this happen again. I would end this.

Wrapping my arms around the demon, I could feel the world begin to fade.

Uriel’s voice telling me that I would know what must be done.

Aberto’s conversation with Kennan on the porch.

My childhood.

My family.

Everyone I loved.

Every step of my life had led me to this moment. Every single person I’d loved and lost, every battle I’d fought, every single second culminated in this moment.

I looked up into the demon’s face and something I saw there shocked me. It wasn’t the demon staring back, but someone entirely different. Emmanuel had been right. He wasn’t alone. Staring back at me from the demon’s eyes were the Council members. The people sworn to protect this world from the darkness had been behind it all along. Damali and Francesca smiled grimly from its eyes, promising that more would come.

Nothing was ever as it seemed in this broken world. I let go of it, of every bit of hate I felt. I let go, and I let the fire consume me.

A blinding light ripped out through the graveyard. I stood there holding out my arms as my mortal shell ripped apart, taking with it the demon. Nothing could exist inside of the fire, nothing could survive. My love, my anger, my hope, and my fear all joined together in that blinding fire. It would end, and with it went my life. Nothing made sense. Everything was lost.

The demon screamed out as it broke to pieces, shattering to onyx stones and melting into nothingness. I stared as the skin on my arms began to crack, the light blinding my eyes. My mortal shell shattered to bits as the demon broke, and so did I. I was no more.

The light ended. The sounds returned. Yet still, I stood. No longer me, but something else entirely.

I looked out upon the scorched field and fell to my knees. It was supposed to be over. I was supposed to go with him. I struggled to find air, trying to fight back the overwhelming fear that threatened to consume me. Had I failed? Was the demon going to come back? Understanding was beyond my grasp. Nothing made sense.

“Izzy?” I heard Aberto’s voice, as if it were a thousand miles away. “Izzy, it is over. It is done.”

“Then why am I still here?” I asked, angry at the heavens for being so cruel. How could I remain?

“You are no longer what you were.” I could feel his approach, even without seeing it.

“Then what am I?”

“I don’t know, Izzy. But we must leave this place. There are injured that must be tended to," Aberto pleaded.

“No one can bring him back," I whispered staring out at the scorched field.

“I know.” Aberto’s voice was calm as if he were trying to tame a wild animal.

“I can’t leave him here.” I muttered, crawling across the scorched earth towards his remains. Even torn to pieces, he was still my Kennan. The only person that had ever, or would ever, matter to me. He was my home, and now that home was gone forever. I moved slowly on all fours, choking back the sobs that threatened to pull me under.

“Izzy, don’t.” My aunt moved toward me, but I struck out with an invisible force, sending her falling back.

“Let me see him. I have to see him.” I kept moving, ignoring the pressing silence, ignoring the fact that I had just Jedi-mind pushed my aunt, ignoring everything. “I have to see him," I whispered.

But when I did, it was all I could do to keep the contents of my stomach in place. This wasn’t like the lab, he would not heal from this. Kennan lay in pieces, scattered over the battlefield. I cried out, hurrying to try and put his pieces back together. Maybe if I tried, maybe if I joined the halves back together, I could fix him. I could bring him back. Surely the heavens weren’t this cruel. I sobbed, struggling to drag his halves back together, the only sound a deep keening inside of me. That’s when Aberto came, that’s when the darkness settled in.