Saving Dancer (Savage Brothers MC #2)(54)

I should take a page out of Nicole’s book. She wouldn’t hide this and worry about how Dragon would react. She would face it all head on. I need to do that. If I am going to be the woman of a Savage MC member I need to start facing things and not hiding from them.

Decision made, I finish my shower and head downstairs to find something to eat. I grab a quick piece of toast and juice. I’m not a breakfast person, but that seems like something an expectant mother should do. I go a step further and make a basket of tuna salad sandwiches, chips and pickles for lunch. Not gourmet, but it works and Jacob and I can spend lunch together.

The only moment of indecision I have is dressing. Jacob made a comment about my jeans yesterday. I think he liked them and I do love being on his bike. Still, dresses are who I am and they are comfortable. Plus, I don’t know, maybe it’s good to have something loose against my stomach? I have no idea. I make a note to stop by the bookstore in town on the way and grab that pregnancy book the doctor recommended.

I finally decide to put on my sage green sundress with the little pink roses on it. Jacob likes it. Well, he liked taking it off of me the last time I wore it.

I make it to the club around noon and head straight for the garage that Jacob has been working in. Freak is standing out front talking with Nikki and Frog.

“Hey, Red. What are you doing here looking so gorgeous? Dancer ever drops the ball baby you’re going to have to give me a chance,” Frog says with this big smile. I shake my head at his words, but laugh when Freak slaps him on the back of the head.

“Ignore him Red, he forgot his brains in his ass. You lookin’ for Dance?”

“Yeah I thought I might steal him away for lunch.”

“He just took a break from work. You can catch him in the club though.”

I smile, trying to hold on to the courage that brought me here. Nikki might have seen I was wavering, even if she didn’t know what was going on, because she grabs my hand.

“We’ll go in together. I need to check with Nicole on something.”

Freak pulls her back to him before we can leave and slams his lips against hers in a kiss that is so intense and carnal you can feel the heat just from watching it.

“Behave yourself, stud,” Nikki breathes against his lips when they break apart.

“Remember my promise, woman.”

Nikki licks her lips, but doesn’t say anything else. I bite my tongue to keep from asking what the promise was!

Then she grabs my hand and pulls me along to the club.

“Things seem to be going good with Freak.”

“Girl, you have no idea. I’ll tell you some time though, just bring a fan,” she says with a laugh, wiggling her eyebrows in mock suggestion. We’re both laughing as we open the doors.

It takes a minute for my eyes to adjust from the bright sunshine to the darkness of the room. When it does, the laughter clogs in my throat.

Jacob is sitting at the bar with Tash, a club Twinkie in his lap. They’re laughing. Her hand is playing with his hair while she drags a finger down the side of his face teasing his lips. She’s dressed like the Twinkies always are, almost naked. Today though her white, see-through shirt and clearly no bra or panties, seems worse. It is worse, because she’s in the lap of my man. She’s in his lap and he’s not pushing her away. Instead his hand is on her thigh. Sure the shirt is between his touch and her skin, but he is holding her thigh! He is letting her sit in his lap! He is…laughing with her! I thought I was the only one who made him laugh! I thought I was…the only one.

Something inside of me screams, no and then I hear his words. I hear him talking about something that should be private. I hear him talking about me, about us. I hear him and just like that my new found will to face things head on and be stronger crumbles around me.





Chapter 31




Dancer

(Just before Carrie’s arrival)


I’m exhausted and I keep messing shit up. I’ve been trying to get a f*cking spring in a f*cking carburetor for the last f*cking hour! I can rebuild those son of a bitches with my eyes closed I’ve done so many of them and yet, I’m so tired I can’t concentrate. I don’t want to be here. The men are talking and laughing so loud my head feels like it is being bombarded. There’s people everywhere and it’s unreasonable, it’s completely unreasonable, because truly it’s the same bunch who are always here and not even as many as normal. Still, it is making my skin feel as if it is trying to crawl off my body. The faces and the voices all mix into one blurring roar in my head. It’s like they are all on a carousel that spins around so fast and quick that I just catch images of them flashing in my head. Then they spin again with a whirl. Their combined voices are like a strange sadistic music and blends until all I can hear is gibberish. Gibberish but with mocking laughter in the background. My heart drums a million beats a minute and jars my body with its force.

Panic attack. I’m having a f*cking panic attack in broad daylight. Each person that comes up to me is hidden by unseen arms, unseen hands reaching out to grab me. Reaching out to grab me and pull me down into the darkness. My hands shake, a cold sweat breaks out over my skin. I’m dizzy. I’m going to f*cking lose it in front of my brothers. NO! I CAN’T!! I throw the parts down on the work bench and stomp out of the garage.

I want to f*cking run. I want to run so f*cking far that I can feel nothing but the burn of the air in my lungs. I can’t do that either. If I run they will all know, they will know and it will all crumble around me and I’ll lose Carrie. I make it to the back of the garage and lean against the block wall, slowly falling to my ass. I bring my knees up and put my head down and breathe deep.