Savage Love (Back Down Devil MC #7)(52)

“Okay…”

“Is there anything in your past that could get you in trouble?”

“Like what?”

“Anything that someone could pull a warrant for?”

“No. My life has been boring since you.”

“I wouldn’t say boring. Marriage. A kid.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

Miller laughed. “You mean the outlaw stuff.”

“I never wanted it, Miller. The way it all turned out.”

Miller inched toward Ella and kissed her. “I know, darling. I know how you feel.”

“Then tell me about everything,” Ella said. “What happened then. What’s happening now. Tell me, Miller.”

Ella felt her throat tightening. She forced herself to hold composure. Miller rose to his feet and leaned against the large rock. He drank the beer and smiled at her.

“Right now? This is all about finishing this war. We have a plan to make it happen, Ella. He’ll be taken down.”

“Then what?”

“The town will get crazy for a little while. That we know. The club is going to face some serious heat. But that has nothing to do with you. You just survive and press forward. You get the house and you get to do whatever you want with it.”

“I don’t want that,” Ella said. “I don’t want that at all, Miller. I don’t want to be viewed as some widow. Or be forced into being a public figure because of what happened.”

“Nobody will ever know what happened,” Miller said. “I promise you that. There will be nothing to know. Nothing to find.”

The heat from minutes ago was gone. Ella shivered and hugged herself. She hated that everything went to this mess. Her world revolved around danger and romance. Intense danger and even more intense romance.

Miller put an arm around her and they stood there.

It just felt right.

“I f*cking love you, Ella,” Miller said. “I’ve wanted to say that from the second I showed up at your door. I f*cking love you.”

Ella shut her eyes, trying to hold back tears. “I love you, Miller. I never stopped loving you. Ever.”

“You loved someone else.”

“No. Not like I loved you. That was different, Miller. I went with the path I thought I had to go. What I was told to go. Remember?”

“Yeah,” Miller said. “I f*cking remember. I remember everything, darling.”

“Then what happened? Why didn’t you show up and save me?”

Miller pulled Ella away from him. “Is that what you f*cking think?”

“Maybe.”

“Jesus Christ, Ella. I did what I thought was right for you. Look what you got out of it. A decent life. A family. That’s what you wanted. You said that to me before. So many times. I overhead you talking to your friends about it. Nobody wanted you with me. Nobody.”

“And you listened?” Ella asked. She felt her blood starting to boil. “You f*cking listened? When have you ever listened?”

“I saw you,” Miller growled through gritted teeth.

“Saw what?”

“You and Jerry together. I saw it. I was there!”

Miller turned and kicked the ground.

Ella felt her heart pounding. “You were there. You son of a bitch. You were there and did nothing.”

“Because it was better that way,” Miller said with his back to Ella.

“Better what way?”

“With him. You knew. So did I.”

“That’s why you did nothing?”

Miller looked back. “No, darling, I did plenty. I told Jerry how to take care of you. How to love you. I told Jerry everything he needed to know to make it right and to make it work for you and him. I pulled away and disappeared, giving you time to realize what was in front of you.”

“Oh, how f*cking heroic of you.”

“Look what it did!”

“Exactly, Miller! Look what it did!” Ella touched her cheek. “He tried to kill me. He stepped on my head and wanted me to die. He’s going to come for me and Beck. He never loved Beck, ever. Never once did he touch me when I was pregnant. Never talked to my belly, rubbed my back. I shopped alone for everything. When I went into labor…”

Ella looked down.

“What? Don’t hold back on me now, darling. Tell me everything I missed. Everything I f*cked up. Everything I should have experienced.”

“You chose that.”

Miller turned and rushed to Ella. “Like f*ck I did. I wanted what was right for you. I thought about doing something different, when I took the patch. I thought as President I could make damn sure you were safe. Then you got pregnant.”

“My fault, right?”

“I never f*cking said that, Ella.”

“I was alone for everything,” Ella said. “And I had to see you, hear about you, feeling that knife in my heart. You weren’t protecting me. You were hurting me!”

“I hurt you.” Miller gritted his teeth. “I hurt you. You destroyed me.”

Miller turned and walked away again.

“How did I destroy you?”

“Telling me you wish Beck was mine.”

“You. Fucking. Asshole.”

Ella was shaking. She looked down and thought about throwing a beer bottle at the back of Miller’s head. Instead, Ella started to run.