Savage Love (Back Down Devil MC #7)(55)

“Not tonight,” Miller groaned.

He swung his foot once and missed the cot. His back crashed against the wall. The second kick did the trick though, sending the cot through the air. Turning, he opened the bedroom door and went inside. There was a light left on, the light cascading along the bed, showing off a sleeping Ella. Miller shut the door gently and suddenly felt sober. He walked to the edge of the bed and touched it. This was his goddamn bed. In his goddamn clubhouse. For his goddamn MC. This wasn’t part of the deal. Romance. Falling in love. Giving a damn about a baby that wasn’t his. Miller looked to his shoulder and swore he could still smell Beck. That lotion, clean, powder, warm spit up smell. And he goddamn liked it.

The deal was supposed to be Ella having a good life. A family. Holidays. Spending the morning cooking the Thanksgiving turkey while the kids watched the damn parade. Then going out the next day and picking out the Christmas tree. The kids waiting up too late for Santa to come. All the while Miller would be on his steel lion of a ride, fighting, shooting, stabbing, doing everything he could to keep the truest of all darknesses away from Frelen. Jerry could handle public safety with his badge and service weapon. Miller could handle the real shit.

That was the f*cking deal.

Now Ella was in his bed. Her body lingered on his. Her sweet sex smell still flirted with Miller’s senses, f*cking with his heart and mind.

Leaning forward, Miller climbed onto the bed. His hand reached for Ella, touching her waist. He squeezed a little, taking a deep breath. Christ, there was so much still left to talk about. This wasn’t something to just sweep under the rug and forget. This was breaking fate and changing the path of so many lives. It all needed to be talked about.

Miller just didn’t want to lose Ella again. And he didn’t want to lose Beck. Even if the baby wasn’t his, the baby deserved something that resembled a decent life.

You can’t give that to anyone, Miller. You can’t give anything decent to anyone. The only decent thing is to walk away. To just go do your thing. Her heart will break. It will shatter. But she’ll realize it was just a first love thing. You were the first to touch her, take her innocence, show her something wild. All that pain will pass. Then she’ll be okay again. And she’ll never be in danger.

Miller put his lips to Ella’s ear. “I’m sorry, darling. You’ll never be in danger again.”

Ella wiggled her shoulder and moved away from Miller. She swatted with her hand at his hand, knocking it away.

Taking the hint, Miller put a little space between them. He then stared at the ceiling and fell into a drunk sleep of nothingness.

There were no dreams. There was just nothing.

When Miller opened his eyes, there was a pounding sound at the door. He sat up and reached for his gun with one hand and reached across the bed with the other. The bed was empty. Miller jumped from the bed, running a hand over his face. He tore open the door and Gaige stood there, a gun in his hand.

“What the f*ck…”

“We have company,” Gaige said.

“Jerry?”

“Yeah.”

“Fuck,” Miller growled. “Where’s Ella?”

Gaige nodded to the door behind him.

“Okay. Get outside. I’m on my way,” Miller said.

He hurried to the door across from his room and opened it. Ella was there on the edge of the bed, breastfeeding Beck.

“Shut the door!” Ella yelled.

Beck broke away from her breast and let out a whine. Miller looked at Ella’s full breast and couldn’t help but feel his cock pulse. Seeing her like this was just beautiful. Beyond beautiful. A f*cking woman. A mother. So strong and capable…

“Sorry,” Miller said. “We have company here.”

Ella looked ready to panic. “Shit. No.”

“Here,” Miller said. He came forward. “Let me take the little guy so you could… clean up…”

Miller grabbed Beck. The baby looked at him and smiled big. A big and cute smile to start Miller’s day. The innocence burned from his eyes. Yet there was hell waiting outside.

This baby’s father was waiting outside.

Miller felt his stomach twist.

Ella stood up, fixing her top. “Give me him.” She tore the baby from Miller’s hand. “What are you going to do?”

“Deal with it,” Miller said. “I want you to wait it out in my room. Okay? I made you a promise…”

“I’m tired of promises,” Ella said. She pushed by Miller.

“Hey!” Miller bellowed. “I never…”

Ella looked back at him. “Don’t. Just don’t, Miller. This is why I wanted to leave when I came here. I needed you to get me out of here. Out of Frelen. You have ways and you didn’t do it. Now he’s here to get me. To get Beck. To hurt us.”

“He will not hurt you,” Miller said. “And you are not leaving. I’m not letting you slip away from me again. I love you. I want to…”

Ella opened the door and walked across the hall.

Miller gritted his teeth. He made a fist and yelled, punching the wall. His fist blasted through it with ease. When he pulled his fist back, blood dripped from his hand. Out in the hallway, prospects were getting set up, ready to barricade the door.

“You f*cking guard the woman and baby with your life,” Miller ordered.