Savage Love (Back Down Devil MC #7)(39)

The only reason she was worried now was because each yell or thud made her wonder if Jerry had come. In a straight fight, she knew Miller could destroy Jerry. But with his badge and power, legal rights and justice, Jerry could barge into the clubhouse and take Miller and the MC down.

Once Beck was dressed, Ava lifted him off the bed. Beck let out a cry and grabbed at Ava’s chest.

“That means he’s hungry,” Emily said.

“He certainly belongs here,” Ava said. “Not afraid to grab what he wants, huh?”

Beck smiled big.

Ella took Beck to the other side of the bed and sat there, feeding him one last time. The others already broke open one of the bottles of vodka and were starting to drink. Ella just held her baby and rocked as he nourished. There were no more promises to make. No more words to share. This was all going to come down to trust. Ella had to trust Miller. With her life and with the life of her son.

Beck’s eyes grew heavy and he started to fall asleep. It was maybe a little early for his bedtime, but considering he had a crib with an actual mattress, Ella hoped he would get a really good night’s sleep. A much needed night’s sleep, considering how bad the other night had been.

“Hey, let’s leave for a second,” Mia said when Ella stood with a sleeping Beck in her arms.

They left the room and Ella slowly put Beck down. He quickly turned and let out a baby groan. His right hand went to his mouth like he was going to suck his thumb, but he didn’t. Ella put a blanket on the baby and then patted his shoulder. She leaned down and kissed his cheek.

“I love you,” she whispered. “Everything will be okay. Miller might look scary but he’s a big teddy bear. He’s the sweetest man I’ve ever known, Beck. I wish you…” Ella shut her eyes and swallowed. “Sleep tight, baby.”

Ella stood and gave it a few seconds.

Beck was out cold.

She went to the door and opened it. Ava stood there holding a bottle of vodka.

“Time to drink,” Ava said.

“Where? I don’t want to go back in the room…”

“It’s covered,” Emily said. Her head popped out of the room across from Miller’s. “There’s nobody crashing here.”

“It’ll probably go to Trev,” Ava said. “If he doesn’t sleep outside.”

Ella looked back at the door. A hand touched her shoulder.

“Hey,” Mia said. “The little one will be fine.”

“You think?” Ella asked.

“The prospects are right there,” Mia said. “They’re armed. They know their orders. Nobody is going to come within ten feet of the room without getting a bullet.”

Ella nodded.

Trust.

That’s what it was all going to come down to right now.

Ella went into the next room and left the door open. She had to be able to at least see the room where Beck was sleeping. She then took a bottle of vodka and drank. It was cool, smooth for a few seconds, and tasted great. She hurried to pound what had to be at least three shots worth.

“Damn,” Emily said. “You need to cool it.”

“I’m good,” Ella said. “I’m really good.”

“This is really weird,” Emily said. “If I can say something…”

“Anything,” Ella said.

“My man wants to kill your husband.”

“Mine too,” Ava said.

“And mine,” Mia said.

“I know,” Ella said.

“I feel so bad,” Emily said.

“Don’t. There used to be something there and it’s not there anymore.”

“So you and Miller knew each other before all this?” Ava asked.

“We go way back,” Ella said.

“She’s blushing,” Mia said. “You and him…”

Ella nodded.

“Damn,” Emily said. “You know, I’ve always thought he was hung up on a woman. The way he acts with other women… he’s not like the other guys. Not like Blaine.”

“Nobody is like Blaine,” Ava said. “Blaine is nasty.”

“But he means well,” Mia said. “And that’s coming from a woman he kidnapped.”

“All this should scare me,” Ella said. “But it doesn’t. I’ve seen it all before.”

“How serious were you two?” Emily asked.

Ella grabbed the vodka bottle and drank some more. “As close as could be. Miller was my everything. My… my first.”

“Aw,” Ava said.

“I thought we were going to be together forever. I made my peace with the MC life and everything. I knew he was in danger but he liked it. It was his purpose. There was always tension between he and Jerry. I knew Jerry secretly liked me. He would hint at it. It was the total trap between a good boy and bad boy thing. Jerry was handsome and sweet. He would take me to a movie. Try to hold my hand. Total gentleman at everything he did.”

“And Miller?” Ava asked with a grin.

“Opposite,” Ella said. “He was dirty. He was sexy. He didn’t take me to the movies. He took me for a ride on his motorcycle. Bought me beer, fought someone, and then just went for me. He didn’t casually try to hold my hand. If he wanted it, he’d take my hand. If he wanted to kiss me, he just did it. If he wanted to touch me, he did.”