Released (Caged #3)(56)

“Do you expect today will be like that, too?”

“I have no idea.”

“Tell me something you remember about your mom from when you were a child,” Erin suggested.

“She read to me a lot,” I said.

“Is that something you enjoyed?”

“I guess.” I shrugged.

“What else do you remember?”

I chuckled.

“Outing days,” I said. “Mom would pick all these weird places to go on the weekend when Dad had to travel on business.”

“Weird places?”

“Not exactly weird,” I said. I tried to think of the best way to describe it. “They just weren’t the usual places. We wouldn’t go to the movies or the park. We’d go to the pond near the college and feed the swans lettuce, or we’d go into the attic of one of the old buildings on campus and explore. They just…weren’t the usual mother-son activities, I guess.”

“Did you like doing those things?”

“Yeah,” I said. “No one else ever did that kind of shit.”

A timid knock came from the office door, and my eyes locked with Erin’s.

“Ready?” she asked softly.

My head shook no without hesitation, and Erin smiled with half her mouth.

“If you decide it’s too much,” she told me, “you tap on your knee with your index finger, and I’ll end the session. Okay?”

“Okay,” I replied with a hoarse voice. Having an instant way of tapping out made me feel a little better.

Erin stood and walked across the room in what had to be the slowest slow motion that ever existed outside my imagination. It took hours and, at the same time, was far too fast. Erin’s hand clasped the knob. The door opened, and there she was.

Neat pantsuit, hair up, makeup perfect—just as she always looked. Extraordinarily beautiful and looking as if she had barely aged a day in the past decade, Julianna Teague walked into the room.

Despite her polished appearance, she still looked like she would have knelt down in a sandbox to play without batting an eye. She would have, too. Or at least, she would have in the past.

Would she do that with my child?

“Hello, Liam,” she said. Her voice was so quiet I couldn’t really hear it though I knew what she had said.

“Mom,” I replied. I had to swallow and look away.

Erin directed her to the seat across from me.

“I know this is difficult for both of you,” Erin said. “I’m hoping you will both decide to just talk to each other without my interference, but I can also help prod you along a bit. I think it would be good if Julianne says a little bit about what’s on her mind. Is that okay with you, Liam? Is it okay if your mother starts?”

“Yeah.” I cleared my throat. “That’s fine.”

“Julianne? Tell Liam what you’re thinking right now.”

“I miss you,” she said immediately. I didn’t look up at her. I couldn’t. I knew there were tears running down her face, and I didn’t want to see them. “So much, Liam…I can’t even…”

She took a long, staggered breath.

“I’m so, so glad you’re with your uncle now and that you are willing to talk to me.”

“Tria wanted it,” I replied.

It sounded worse than I intended.

“Do we…?” She stopped, and I heard her breathing become more unsteady.

“What do you want to say, Julianne?” Erin asked quietly.

“Do we have a chance?” she asked, and a small sob escaped her throat. “Will you talk to me, please?”

For the longest time, I just stared at my fingers on my lap. My mind was completely blank, and I had no idea what to say to her. I had no idea what could make everything all right again, and I wasn’t even sure if that was what I wanted.

“Tria wants a family,” I said finally. “She’s…she’s having a baby, you know.”

“I know,” Mom said. “Your father told me.”

“November,” I said. “She’s supposed to have it in November.”

“Michael said you were…scared.”

I tensed. I didn’t like that he was talking to her about me. I mean, I knew he was—it’s not like he kept any of that shit a secret—but hearing her actually say it out loud…well, that was different. I didn’t like it.

Well, I didn’t like most of it.

Part of me reminded myself that she wanted to know—that they had all been talking about me the past ten years all the time. I was still in their minds and in their hearts even when I wouldn’t accept it. I wanted to know they hadn’t forgotten me or stopped caring and that she really did miss me.

“It will be all right,” she said quietly. “We’re going to take care of you. We’re going to take care of Tria, too.”

I had no idea what it was. Her words…her tone. Maybe it was just because she said she was going to take care of Tria…I didn’t know. I just fell apart.

Completely.

Utterly.

For once, it was my mother’s arms around me as all the pain and sense of loss poured out. Though she had been at the center of it years ago, I couldn’t help but lean on her when she was next to me on the couch and holding me against her. She cried. I cried.