Released (Caged #3)(52)

“I think I need some anger management,” I announced as I walked into her office.

Erin laughed.

“I would tend to agree,” she said, “but there are some key things you need to come to terms with first before that would be effective.”

“What’s that?”

“Let’s talk about all the wonderful things in your life,” she said as I sat down.

“Uh…is that sarcasm?”

“No,” she said, “not at all.”

“Well,” I started slowly, “I still have a job at the moment though I probably came close to losing it today.”

“Would that be the reason you inquired about anger management?”

“Yep.”

“Got it. We’ll tackle that later. What else?”

“I don’t know why we’re doing this,” I grumbled.

“Part of healing is recognizing the positives, Liam. There are many positives in your life that you choose to ignore in favor of focusing on the negatives. We have to move past that.”

“The shitty stuff stands out. Everything that’s happening right now reminds me of…of what happened before. Whenever we go to the doctor or Tria says something about how she’s feeling…all of it comes back. I’ve done all this before even though Tria hasn’t. Every other word out of her mouth makes me think about…about Aimee.”

“But Tria isn’t Aimee,” Erin said. “Did you love Aimee?”

I swallowed.

“Yes,” I said.

“And do you love Tria now?”

“More than anything.”

“How do you feel about the baby that is coming?”

“I don’t know if I can survive that long,” I said with a quick laugh through my nose.

“Why do you say that?”

“I just don’t know how I’m going to make it through,” I said. “I mean, Tria’s just out of the first trimester. I’ve got months of this.”

“And each day brings you closer to the end,” Erin said.

“That’s what it feels like,” I agreed.

“That isn’t what I mean,” Erin clarified. “I mean it brings you closer to the end of the pregnancy—the beginning of fatherhood.”

“I don’t really think about that,” I admitted. “The whole ‘being a father’ thing. It’s too…too abstract.”

“Did you think about it when Aimee was pregnant?”

“Yeah. Look where that got me.”

“Liam”—Erin leaned forward in her seat like she always did when she was trying to make some monumental point that would end up lost on me—“everything happens for a reason.”

“What the f*ck is that supposed to mean?”

“Everything that happened in your past brought you to where you are now. Would you ever have had the opportunity to meet Tria if it weren’t for the earlier tragedies in your life?”

“Are you saying Aimee had to die for Tria and me to be together?” I stood up and pointed a finger at her. “That’s the most f*cked up thing I’ve ever heard in my life! Aimee and the baby had to die so I could be happy with another girl? Are you f*cking serious?”

“I didn’t mean it that way, and you know it,” Erin said softly. “Please sit back down.”

I huffed through my nose as I slowly lowered myself back to the cliché couch.

“I’m asking you to consider the positive things in your life,” Erin clarified. “Your focus is often on the negative aspects, but there are many good things that have happened to you as well.”

“Tria.”

“Yes, Tria,” Erin agreed. “You also haven’t relapsed again.”

I nodded.

“What else?” she prompted.

“Um…I’m not on the street.”

“You have an uncle who cares for you quite a bit.”

I nodded again, noticed I was chewing on my lower lip the same way Tria did when she was deep in thought, and made myself stop it.

“Chelsea, too,” I said. “Chelsea has been awesome to me and to Tria, too. I don’t think Tria ever really had a woman in her life who did shit for her like Chelsea does. She’s been more like a mom than Tria’s real one ever was.”

“That’s your uncle’s wife, correct?”

“Yeah,” I said. “Ryan’s mom, too.”

“Have you talked to Ryan since you moved in with your uncle?”

“Nah,” I said. “He’s on some big business trip in China or something. He won’t be back until the end of the month.”

“Your relationship with him remained civil while you were out of touch with the rest of your family.”

“Mostly,” I agreed. “We had our moments.”

“You were close to him when you were younger?”

“When Michael married Chelsea,” I said, “Ryan came along with the deal. We were about the same age, and we got along right away. It was good to have someone to hang out with during family gatherings and shit—I hadn’t had that before.”

“What about now?”

“His wife is a bitch,” I said with a laugh.