Over the Edge (Bridge #3)(77)

On our second night, we had dinner with Will’s mother. She was a petite blonde. Fashionable but not pretentious. She was warm, and the love she had for her son was infectious and heartwarming. She begged us more than once to leave New York and start our family in Paris. At the end of one of the most incredible meals of my life, I almost considered it.

Afterward, Will and I went for a walk around the Champ de Mars. The sun had set and the air was cool, but Will’s hand was warm in mine.

“What do you think? Should we relinquish our citizenship and stay here forever?”

“I wish.”

He lifted an eyebrow. “Do you? You know I’ll give you whatever you want.”

I laughed, but I knew he was serious. “Might be hard to manage your empire from here.”

“No doubt it would.” He sighed. “Maybe one day, when I can step away from all of it, we’ll go expat and get a place on the Riviera or something. We can make love and drink wine and eat all the food, every day.”

“Sounds like heaven. I think I should start brushing up on my French now.”

He pecked a kiss on my cheek. “We’ll have you fluent in no time, princess.”

The night was growing dark, and we found a bench along the path that offered an unobstructed view of the Eiffel Tower. I pulled my coat tighter. Will immediately put his arm around me to keep the chill away. I leaned into his warmth.

Before us, the tower lit up against the navy sky. People milled around on the vast lawn that surrounded it. Happiness expanded out from my heart, and for the first time, it hit me that I hadn’t been truly happy in a long time. Not since Ian had left. I had tried to smile more, for Will’s sake. Most days, seeing Aidan or immersing myself in work was enough to keep my emotions above water. Other days were harder, drowned in regret and heartache.

Good or bad, every day that passed, I lost a little more hope that we’d be able to make amends. I had no idea if I’d ever see Ian again, let alone love him. With his absence and his silence, I forced myself to accept that I’d failed. The grand dream I’d had for us was only that—a dream.

Being with Will had to be enough. I loved him deeply, and we were going to be a family. He alone was a dream come true.

A part of me wished I’d never let myself love Ian, because then his leaving would be something I could bear.

I closed my eyes and tried to forget. This moment was too perfect to color it with sadness and regret.

“I love you,” I uttered quietly.

“I love you too. More than anything.” Will tipped my chin up and held me with his penetrating cobalt gaze. “I have a question for you.”

“What is that?”

“I feel like I’m at the risk of totally messing up a solid Hallmark moment by asking it.”

I smiled. “Shoot.”

“Do you want to get married?”

The question stole my breath. I hesitated, trying to gauge where this was coming from so suddenly. He wasn’t on one knee, proposing. He was asking me an honest question.

“I thought you weren’t husband material. Did something change?”

“Everything’s changed, not the least of which is you carrying our child.”

“Do you want to get married?”

Amusement glittered in his eyes. “I asked you first.”

I laughed softly. “Seriously, Will.”

He sighed and stared up at the tower lights. “I don’t know. I think marriage has different connotations for different people. My parents split up when I was young, and it wasn’t easy going through that as an only child so I’ve never put much stock in the idea of marriage. But at the end of the day, I want to do whatever you’re comfortable with.”

I frowned. “I don’t want to get married to be comfortable.”

“Okay. How about this? Let’s say, in an incredibly cliché romantic gesture, I proposed to you right here at the foot of the Eiffel Tower, in the city of romance. If I got down on one knee, presented you with the biggest diamond Wall Street money could buy, and asked you to be my wife…what would you say?”

He was trying to be funny, but I understood that underneath it all, we were having a very serious conversation about our future and how we were going to define it. I tried to visualize the scenario he painted. For all I knew, he could have a ring in his pocket. What would I say?

My nerves rioted, and my breathing became shallow. Suddenly the thought of him proposing and me having to give him an answer terrified me. I swallowed hard and looked up at the twinkling lights that stretched high into the night sky.

I searched for calm, and then I remembered, whatever life threw at us, Will could handle the truth. He relied on it. After a moment, I met his gaze.

“If you asked me right now, I’d want to say yes, because I love you and I want to give you everything you want.”

He blinked once, his expression calm. “But you wouldn’t.”

“I’m not sure I could say yes right now. Not because I don’t want to be your wife, but because I already feel tied to you in all the ways that matter. We’re going to have a baby. We share a home and a life. I believe in our future, and I don’t need a piece of paper or a huge social event to make me feel like it’s any more real or secure.”

I fidgeted with my bracelet and waited for him to speak. I hoped he wasn’t upset or hurt. I couldn’t bear it, but I wanted him to know how I really felt.