Over the Edge (Bridge #3)(76)

“That was a bitch, huh?”

I unscrewed the cap to another bottle and drank from it. “Yeah.”

“How are things going with you anyway?”

“Fine. Same old.” The truth was I was a goddamn mess, but Darren was the last person I was going to talk to about it.

“I don’t think I told you, but a spot opened up on Ladder 201. They offered it to me.”

“Good for you, I guess,” I muttered, sucking down some more water.

I wasn’t sure why he was bothering to tell me. We hadn’t spoken much since we’d come to blows over me dating Liv. The tension had settled into a manageable discontent for each other. And when I’d left Liv, I hadn’t noticed it at all. I was too numb to notice or care.

“I thought about it, but I don’t think I’m going to take it.”

I shot him a tentative look. “Why not?”

He shrugged and twisted his mouth up. “I don’t know. Didn’t feel like getting to know a whole new crew. I’ve had a good run here. Why mess up a good thing?”

I shrugged and stared down at the dirty ground, contemplating why he’d tell me all this. Did he want me to go? Maybe he’d never be able to forgive me for being in a relationship with his sister, but it wasn’t something he had to worry about for the future. Liv and I were over. I wasn’t going back. As much as it killed me, I knew it was for the best. Maybe Darren didn’t know that yet.

“Maybe staying won’t be so bad. Things aren’t as complicated as they used to be. Liv and I… We’re not together anymore.”

His lips formed a grim line. “Yeah, I know.”

I stared at him in disbelief. I expected him to be smiling ear to ear about it. Instead, he seemed…thoughtful. I had no idea what that meant.

“Listen, Darren. I’m sorry that it messed things up between us. I really am. Hopefully we can all move on now.”

He shook his head. “I’ll live. But I don’t think Liv’s moving on very well.”

Fresh pain worked its way through my chest at the thought of her hurting. After Will’s call, I knew she was, but I didn’t have to see it or hear it, so I could talk myself into thinking she was happy with Will and the promise of their future together.

“Is she okay?” I forced the words out, bracing myself for his reply.

“We had a family dinner the other night. Will came.” He shrugged and made a face that I recognized as unimpressed.

If I weren’t so emotionally f*cked up over the whole situation, I might have laughed.

“And…”

“I don’t know. Vanessa told me you left, and I guess I didn’t realize I was rooting for you this whole time. You know, between fantasies of drowning you in the East River.”

I cracked a smile. “I’m touched. Truly.”

He exhaled a loud sigh. “I don’t know. She doesn’t seem as happy as she was, you know, before…”

“It’s complicated.”

My relationship with Liv had been complicated from day one. I was certain Darren couldn’t disagree, but I wasn’t sure yet if he knew about the pregnancy. I sure as hell wasn’t going to bring it up.

“Tell me the truth. Do you really love her? Like, are you sure you even know what that means?”

“Of course I love her. And yes, I know what it f*cking means. Doesn’t change the fact that it’s not going to work out. It’s over.”

He drew his lips tight together. “Goddamnit, Ian.”

I frowned. “What?”

Why was he pressing me about this? This was a hot-button topic that we both knew to steer clear of if we had any hope of repairing our friendship down the road.

He brought his hand to his forehead and rubbed back and forth. “I can’t believe I’m going to say this. But I think you should reconsider.”

“Reconsider what?”

He threw his hands up. “She’s in love with you, man. I don’t get this whole f*cked-up thing you guys started, but I can’t see that look in her eyes week after week. Whatever you did, you have to fix it. I don’t care what you have to do, but you’ve got to make this right.”

I looked away, unwilling to believe I had the power to change this path we were on. A path that was taking Liv and me in two different directions. Day by day, we got farther apart.

The street was busy with other firefighters, police, and a couple of news trucks. Above it all, a sunset washed over the sky like a watercolor made of pinks and violets.

I shook my head. “I can’t fix this, Darren. I wish I could. I just can’t.”

OLIVIA



We had planned to stay in London for a little over a week, but after only a few days, Will concluded his business and let me in on a surprise. We’d be spending the remainder of the trip in Paris, a city I had fallen in love with long ago.

I’d never experienced Paris in the fall. The city was as beautiful as I remembered, but cozier and infinitely more romantic now that I was sharing it with Will.

Our hotel had a view of the Sacré-C?ur, and every morning, Will would wake me up with a tray of hot cocoa and chocolate croissants. The pregnancy nausea I’d experienced had been manageable thus far, and I was determined that nothing would keep me from French pastries on this trip. Life was too short for that.