Over the Edge (Bridge #3)(74)

My oldest sister, Gabrielle, popped her head through the doorway of the kitchen. “Ian! You’re here. Come out back. Everyone’s here. Shawn too.” She lifted her eyebrows, like in a house full of women, the presence of one male would entice me into a social mood.

“I’ll be out in a sec.”

She left, and I rose, fatigue heavy in my muscles.

“Sucker,” Mia muttered.

I turned away from her with a tired chuckle and made my way to join the others.

As promised, the rest of my sisters and their kids and partners were congregated in the yard that we shared with the tenants above us. The autumn air was cool, but the sun shone into the private little outdoor area, making for a beautiful day.

I grabbed a beer from a nearby cooler and took a seat around the patio table where a few serving dishes had already been set out.

Gabrielle’s husband was manning the grill, turning vegetables and steaks over methodically while Ella tugged at his shirt, begging him to play. Shawn wasn’t my niece’s biological father. Her real father worked on a merchant ship, which meant he only spent a few months a year in the city. He and Gabrielle had had a quick romance that had resulted in Ella, but they’d quickly grown apart. A year later she met Shawn, and they’d been together ever since.

After a few minutes of determined pestering, Ella managed to coax Shawn away from the grill. He lifted her up in a dramatic sweep and turned her upside down until she squealed with laughter. He tickled her until she was breathless, laughing the whole time like he was enjoying teasing her as much as she enjoyed the torture.

Their affection toward each other wasn’t qualified by their blood. He was as much her father, if not more, than the man who saw her a few times a year.

Gabrielle sauntered into the courtyard. “Come on, Ella. Let Daddy cook.”

Shawn set her down after planting a big kiss on her cheek. My sister coaxed Ella back to where the other cousins played, leaving Shawn to his cooking duties.

Even though it pained me, I imagined Liv and Will’s child then, a brown-haired and blue-eyed angel, playing and jumping between them. I wasn’t in the picture, but I couldn’t help but wonder. Did I have it in me to love Liv’s child like Shawn loved Ella?

I took a deep pull off my beer and banished the thought.

Didn’t matter. I wasn’t going back. I couldn’t. I’d left the penthouse and never looked back. It was the only thing I could do.

Since then, Will had been silent. I ignored Liv’s calls, which had been nonstop right after I left and had since tapered off to a daily attempt. Seeing her face cross my screen sliced through me like a hot blade every time.

What would I say? I couldn’t hear her cry. I wouldn’t listen to her pleas to bring me back, even if those last desperate words from the day I left echoed in my ears every time my head hit the pillow. Even when I could sleep, she haunted me. The memory of her…the feel of her.

I closed my eyes and rubbed the back of my neck, noting the tension that hadn’t been there until the past few weeks.

“Cari?o, que pasa?”

My mother’s soothing voice broke me out of my thoughts for a second.

“Nothing, I’m fine.”

“Dónde está tu sonrisa? Papa no le hubiera gustado verte así.”

My whole body tensed. “I said, I’m fine,” I bit out.

I didn’t want to smile, and if my father didn’t want to see me this way, he wouldn’t have let the cancer kill him. Anger and resentment settled into my tired muscles, giving me something to hang on to.

I’d made a place for Liv in my heart. Now that she was gone, only anger lived there. Fresh resentment that my family had been ripped apart.

“Me partes el corazón cuando te veo así.”

“Mama, English.” My sister Cara gestured to her boyfriend, Nick, who was the only one in our party who didn’t understand a word my mother was saying.

My mother shook her head and went back into the house, muttering Spanish as she went. She fussed more than she used to.

My phone vibrated in my pocket. I withdrew it and saw Will’s name. I’d almost gotten used to ignoring Liv’s calls, but seeing Will’s attempt alarmed me. What if something was really wrong? With Liv, or the baby?

Without thinking, I answered the call.

“Will.” I rose from the table and made my way back into the apartment to get some privacy.

“Thanks for picking up.” Veiled sarcasm was evident in Will’s tone.

“Is there something wrong?” I inhaled a calming breath, but a burst of adrenaline had already shot through my veins, making me alert and ready to snap into action.

“What the hell do you think? You being gone. That’s what’s wrong. Liv’s really upset, and the fact that you won’t even answer her calls is ripping her heart out. Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to watch her go through this?”

Damnit. I shouldn’t have picked up.

“I did what I had to do.”

“No, you reacted and didn’t give one thought to how it would break her. You wanted to be in this relationship, and then you just f*cking left without another word.”

I clenched my teeth. I wanted to yell right back at Will because this was his fault, ultimately. That he was turning it around on me was beyond unfair.