Never Standing Still (The Never Duet #1)(73)

For whatever reason, Kalli decided to shut down after Marcus passed, to deny herself the opportunity to be cared for. I couldn’t fault her for the way she grieved. Grief was grief, and whatever she felt, however her mind processed her devastation, well, I couldn’t argue with that. Sure, I had a moment of my grief, where I felt the loss of Kalli as well as her brother, where I came to terms with the fact that she wasn’t going to allow me to comfort her or even be with her, and I might have lost my composure. But in the last couple of days, I’d come to terms with my role in Kalli’s life.

I would simply wait.

I would hold on to the fact that I knew she was mine and that she would eventually feel those ties that bound her to me, those ropes that tethered us together, and come back to me.

The service ended and I made sure I was one of the first to leave the church, intent on not being seen by her. But I did find a tree at the edge of the parking lot to lean against, waiting for just a glimpse of her face before I left. I needed something to hold on to, something to take with me. I was leaving her, putting so much faith in our connection and trying to remain optimistic that soon she’d realize she needed me, or at least wanted me, again.

There weren’t a lot of people at the service, so it didn’t take very long for everyone to leave, and Kalli was one of the last, as I suspected she would be. When she came out of the church and walked into the pale gray light cast down by the clouds in the sky, I nearly gasped at the sight of her and had to force myself to remain in my spot, fighting the urge to run to her.

Her skin was ashen, eyes lightless, and she was frail. She hadn’t had any weight to spare when I met her, and she had lost at least five pounds, if not more, since I’d seen her last. Where she was soft before, she was sharp. All gentle curves were gone and replaced with corners and edges. I had an unexplainably strong urge to hold her and feed her.

I watched as she got into a town car, helped in by Ella, and my eyes strained to see every last part of her before the door shut. I knew that was the last glimpse of her, the last time I’d see any part of her, until she decided to come back to me.

Ella watched the town car leave the church parking lot and then turned and looked right at me. She said something to her husband and then walked over to me. I couldn’t help but notice the belly she led with, one hand softly caressing her unborn child as she made her way toward me.

“You came,” she said, still a few steps from me.

“I know she didn’t want me here, but I couldn’t stay away. I tried to be discreet.” I stood up straight, pulling my body from the support of the tree.

Ella shook her head. “I don’t know if she would have noticed you anyway. She’s pretty out of it still.”

It hurt to hear those words. I wanted so badly to just hug her, and then shake her, and then hug her again. “She hasn’t been eating,” I said.

“No,” Ella sighed. “We’ve tried, but she can’t keep anything down. She’s too upset most of the time.”

I ran the back of my hand under my chin, trying so hard to fight every instinct I had to take care of her. “Are you going back to Oregon soon?” I needed someone there to take care of her for me.

“I’ll be here for a few more days. Porter and I both took some time off.” She took another step toward me and put her hand on my shoulder. “We’ll watch over her, Riot. I know this must be hard for you.”

“She’ll come back to me,” I said, my voice low but sure.

“I hope so,” she replied, but didn’t sound convinced. I couldn’t blame her; she’d only seen us at our worst, never at our best. Only Kalli and I knew what it felt like when we were together, when our bodies were so relieved to just be near each other. She’d never seen the way Kalli looked at me as I hovered over her, filling her, kissing her. Only I knew what Kalli looked like when she forgot, even if for just a moment, how much she’d lost.

Ella gave me a slight nod, but then headed back to her husband who was waiting at their car for her. I watched the parking lot empty, knowing everyone was headed to Kalli’s house for the wake, but I knew I couldn’t go there. I sighed, then headed to my car and continued on to the airport to catch my flight to LA.

All I could hope was that, eventually, Kalli would accept the fact that she was mine. I would be waiting for her, standing still, until she decided to find me.





I hope you’ll look forward to reading the conclusion to Kalli and Riot’s story



Never Tied Down



Coming Soon



Acknowledgments

The first thank you goes to the readers. Thank you so much for continuing to read my stories and sharing your heart with them and me. If one person reads this story and feels anything, then I know it was all worth it.

To Hang Le, thank you for the amazing cover that so totally encapsulates Kalli. It is sad and soft and beautiful, just like I imagined.

To the ladies at Hot Tree Editing, thank you for helping me make the book the best it could be.

Sabine, Sarah, Kelly, and Andrea – Thank you for reading the book in its bare bones form. I always appreciate the early readers. And Sabine, thank you for giving me Kalli’s last name! I was stuck before, and now it all makes sense.

To Becca, Riot is yours - let it be known! Thank you for everything you’ve done for me; he’s the least I could do for you. I love you endlessly and I am so grateful to have found you (first, I might add. I was first. Me. She’s mine!).