Never Standing Still (The Never Duet #1)(21)

“Of course,” she said to him sweetly. She loved him so much; it was so obvious to me and it made my heart ache. He took off down the hall to gather my bags.

“What happened?” Nancy’s voice was pained and concerned, and she took tentative steps toward me.

I shook my head, trying to stave off any more tears. I didn’t want Marcus to see me upset. “I’m okay. I’ll be all right. I just need a few minutes to put myself back together. Take a shower. Shake it off.”

“Kalli, you can’t just come in here, looking like you’ve been hit by a bus, obviously been crying, and tell me nothing’s wrong. I love you just like I love your brother, and if something’s wrong, you can tell me.”

“Oh, Nancy,” I cried, emotional from her declaration but also because I knew if I told her what had happened, how I’d been dumb enough to fall for “Scott’s” lies, how the whole situation had been me trying to escape the very real and very uncomfortable feelings I had for Riot, well, I’d just break down again. “I just keep making mistakes.”

“What do you mean?” She gently touched my elbow and urged me toward the table, and I found myself sitting.

“I mean, I keep veering off track, I keep getting distracted.”

“From what?”

“From my life, from what I’m supposed to be doing. From Marcus.”

“And what is it you feel is pulling you away?”

“I don’t know. I just keep choosing men over Marcus. I’ve done it twice in the last month and now, this time, I really ended up hurting one of my friends.” I placed my face in my hands and tried to take deep breaths.

“Kalli, just because you weren’t in that car accident, doesn’t mean your life was put on hold. Just because your brother needs special care, doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your own happiness. You’re allowed to seek out happy.”

I shook my head. “I can’t do that to him. It was never in the cards for me.”

“That ridiculous,” Nancy said, now sounding angry. “It’s going to take a special man to come into your life, accept everything that is, and continue on your journey with you, but he’s out there. I promise.” She reached out and took my hand. “Now, tell me, is your friend all right?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know. I think so.” I huffed out a breath. “Her ex-boyfriend used me to figure out where she was last night and attacked her.”

“Oh my,” Nancy said, shocked and concerned. “That’s terrible.”

“Ugh, I know. I feel terrible,” I said, the last word coming out on a sob.

“That’s terrible of him, Kalli. Don’t you, for one moment, think you had any part in his decision to be a terrible person. Don’t take that on.”

I heard her words and tried to take them in, tried to absorb them, but my mind always reverted back to my inner voice telling me that I would never be wanted, not for real, not forever. I’d never met a man who wanted something genuine from me, something permanent. Last night was just a solidification of that notion.

“I really just want to take a shower,” I whispered. “I’ll be fine in a few minutes. I won’t let Marcus see me upset.”

“You think Marcus can’t tell when you’re sad?”

I looked up at Nancy, and I knew the answer to her question, but I didn’t want to admit it.

“Marcus is special, that’s for sure, but he isn’t stupid and he can sense when you’re upset about something. Don’t belittle him that way, Kalli. He doesn’t deserve that. In fact,” she continued, her voice no longer chastising, “I bet if you talked to him about why you’re upset, about the feelings you’re having, he’d be able to offer you some really sound advice.”

“When did you get so wise, Nancy?”

“Comes with age, my dear,” she said, patting my hand. Her eyes locked on mine for a moment, then she stood and walked to the dishwasher, continuing to load it like I hadn’t just poured my heart out to her.





Chapter Seven


Still Waters


After I had a shower, we ordered pizza and rented a movie. It was more of a movie for Marcus’ entertainment, so I couldn’t help it when my mind drifted over all the events of the last few weeks.

I hadn’t heard from Ella the entire day and, even though I didn’t want to bother her, I needed to know that she was all right. I took out my phone and sent her a text.

**Hey. I’m so sorry about everything that happened. I swear I didn’t know Scott was actually Kyle. Are you all right?**

I made myself watch the movie and not obsessively stare at my phone, waiting for a reply. It took a few minutes, but I finally felt it vibrate.

**Well, honestly, I’ve been better, but none of this was your fault, Kal. He’s a psychopath and would have found his way to me regardless. How are you holding up? This can’t be easy on you either.**

Of course Ella would ask how I was doing the night after my date attacked her. I ran my hands over my face, frustration with myself grinding into my nerves. I didn’t deserve friends like Ella and Megan, wasn’t the kind of person they needed in their lives. I had tried so hard to keep my distance from people for so long because I knew once I made connections, something bad would happen.