Never Far Away (The Never #2)(37)

“I want that too, Babe. So much.”

He reached out and placed his hand behind her neck, pulling her into him. His mouth took hers gently and he felt her sigh into him, her breath caressing his face. How much longer could he have survived without her? If he had never gone to see her would she have ever remembered? The idea of not being in this exact moment with Ella caused a panic within him. His panic manifested itself in the kiss and he found himself pulling her even closer. She complied and crawled over his lap, straddling his thighs. His hands grasped at her, threading themselves through her hair, sliding down her back to land on the roundness of her ass.

“Do you have any idea how much I need you, Ella? How much of my ability to breathe is dependent on knowing you’re safe and you’re mine?” He looked into her eyes as he brought his hands to her face.

“I love you with every small piece of my being, Porter. I’m not me if I’m not with you. That distinction was made clear as I waded through two months of wasted time, wondering what was missing. But as much as I love you, and need you, my love for you will always be second best to the way you love me.” She leaned down and kissed him. He tried to return the kiss but was distracted by her words that echoed the letter she’d written him. Suddenly the letter was red hot in his wallet, singeing him through his pocket. He pulled away from her and grappled with his pants to get out his wallet, not an easy task with Ella sitting on his lap. He finally managed to get ahold of his wallet and pull it out. He opened it up and her letter was staring up at him from its designated spot, where it had been for nearly three months. Ella saw it and reached in to take it.

“Is this my letter?” She said as she eyed it. She gently opened up the envelope and pulled out the frail and worn paper, unfolding it as if it would turn to ash if she handled it too roughly.

“Yes,” he answered around the lump forming in his throat.

“It looks like it’s been read a lot.”

“I read it every single day you were gone.” He watched her open it up and saw her eyes track the words as she read. His eyes never wavered from hers and he saw the tears begin to well up. Then he watched her push them back and take a deep breath.

“I had forgotten all about this letter,” she whispered.

“Understatement of the year, Babe” he laughed quietly. She playfully slapped his chest.

“You know what I mean,” she smiled at him and caressed one of his cheeks with her hand. Her touch was warm and soothing. She always managed to give him exactly what he needed with her touch. Whether he needed to be calmed, or wanted to be excited, hers was the only touch that had ever affected him that way. “Why did you read it so many times?”

“It was the only thing I had left of you. Besides the memories that haunted me and my house that still smelled like you, it was the only way I could feel close to you.” She held his eyes for a moment and then looked back down at the paper.

“If I had known what was going to happen to me that night, I might have written this letter differently.”

“What would you have changed?” He asked, rubbing his hands up the outside of her thighs, up her waist, and back down again.

“I probably would have told you not to let anyone keep us apart. That I would be hurting just as badly as you were, perhaps just in a different way.”

“Let’s just be sure that from here on out we remember what we went through and use it as a reminder.”

“Ok, a reminder of what though?”

He reached up and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

“A reminder that you and I should always stand firm that we know what’s best for us, and that we will always put each other first. And that regardless of where one of us is, the other is never far away. No matter what.”

She smiled at his words and leaned down to kiss him, stopping just before her lips met his.

“Sounds good to me,” the end of her sentence was mumbled against his lips as he pushed his mouth into hers. He used his hands to pull on her hips and bring her body in closer to his, to feel her as close to him as possible. He could never get enough of the staggering pleasure that feeling her body against his could bring. Once he felt like the center of her body was sufficiently pressed against his own, his hands roamed her body again, seeking out the pieces of her that reacted to his touch. His hands on her face, on her back, his lips on her neck. If they hadn’t been in his truck in a parking lot, Porter would have found it hard at this point to keep Ella’s clothes on. Instead, he let his hands wander just along the hem of her shirt, feeling her smooth skin against his rough fingers.

She fisted his hair in her hands and he could feel her arousal start to grow, not only by the urgency in her hands, but the sexy sounds she made. Light and gentle sighs and whimpers floated through the cab of his truck and he felt himself harden between his legs even as Ella used her core to grind down on him. He hated to, but he pulled away.

“Ella, let’s go upstairs,” he tried to say but she kept finding ways to kiss him through his words.

“No,” she said quickly between pecks.

“No?”

“I’m fine right here,” she mumbled as her hands began to unbutton his jeans. He quickly grabbed her hands to stop her and pinned her wrists behind her back.

“Ella, this is not happening here. We are not teenagers. There’s a perfectly good room with four walls in your apartment. Let’s go.” Ella gave him a hard glare.