Never Far Away (The Never #2)(39)
“He ripped my shirt open,” she paused, trying to remain calm. “He ripped it open and then grabbed my breast so hard it left a bruise. I could taste the blood pooling in my mouth. I heard the ripping of my shirt. I could feel my teeth biting into my cheek. He would have raped me if I hadn’t stopped him.”
“But you did, Ella. He hurt you, but he didn’t win and he didn’t rape you. You kicked his ass. I saw him at the hospital. You broke his f*cking nose.”
She looked up at him with tears in her eyes, but a small smile on her lips.
“I did?” she asked hopefully.
“Oh yeah, he looked terrible.” She buried her face in his chest again, a little calmer than before.
“It’s a good thing I’m moving out of this apartment. I don’t think I could live here anymore. And honestly, I don’t think I could sleep here if you weren’t with me.”
“Well, you don’t have to worry about that. I am where you are.”
She looked up at him again, her eyes asking him to kiss her. He moved in slowly, making sure this was what she wanted. When she closed her eyes and moved to meet him, he knew she needed him to be there for her. He would give her whatever she needed, but didn’t want to push her too far.
Their lips met and it was a softer kiss than they normally shared. Her lips were swollen from crying and salty from tears. She slowly teased his lips with her tongue and he opened for her, trying not to rush her, but finding himself needing the contact with her just as much as she seemed to need him. Although the kiss started soft and slow, it gradually moved toward longing and need. Ella moved so that she was again straddling his lap, quickly becoming his favorite way to kiss her, their bodies connected at the core. His hands ran up her back, trying to hold her to him, to give her the feeling of being protected. That was all he ever wanted, to protect her. He reached up and twisted his hands around her hair, gently but firmly pulling it back and forcing her lips from his. Her hands came behind his neck as she leaned back into his arms, allowing him to take her neck.
His mouth found the spot between her neck and shoulder that tasted of vanilla every time, and as he kissed and sucked there she let out a throaty moan. His hand traveled up the front of her body, sliding smoothly all the way from her belly button to her neck, pulling her back into the kiss.
“Porter, please,” she begged.
“What do you need, Baby?”
“You, please. Make me forget.” He looked at her and saw the question in her eyes. What a strange request. After everything they’d been through, hoping she’d remember, to now, in this moment, doing everything they could to wipe her memory away. Porter couldn’t help but wonder if his dire need to be with her was worth the pain he saw in her eyes right now. If he’d just left her alone, moved on as best he could without her, would her memories still be buried away? If it was his fault that she was reliving this nightmare, he would do anything he could to help her forget. Using the wall to push against, he stood up, still holding her against him. He started to carry her to the bedroom when she stopped him by putting her feet back on the ground.
She reached down for the hem of her shirt and pulled it up over her head slowly, never taking her eyes off of his. He watched her as she slid her jeans down her hips, leaving her in just bra and panties. He got a small thrill knowing he bought that set for her. In any other circumstance he might have commented on how he liked her in the sexy things he bought for her, but now wasn’t the time. Her hand came out and gripped his shirt. She walked backwards and pulled him with her. She moved backwards until her back was up against her front door. When the door hit her back, she cringed and closed her eyes. He saw a shutter run along her body and he ached to help her through the turmoil evident on her face.
“Tell me how I can help you, Baby.” He leaned his forehead against hers, waiting for her to tell him what he could do. She didn’t look up at him; she just reached for the button of his jeans and slid his pants to the floor along with his boxers. She pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it towards the living room. He finally placed a finger under her chin and lifted her face so he could look in her eyes.
“You’ve got to tell me what to do, Ella. I’m flying blind here and I need you to tell me what you want.”
“Make me forget, Porter.” She said as she reached behind her back to unclasp her bra, letting it fall to the floor. “Make love to me, here, and erase it all.” She pushed her panties to the floor and stepped out of them. He continued to look her directly in the eyes, silently asking her if she was sure. She gave a small but certain nod, and he moved in to her body, pressing her against the door.
He delicately grazed his fingers along her jaw and felt her breath shutter. His mouth dropped feathered kisses from one side of her jaw to the other, trying to kiss away her memory and her pain. As he kissed her jaw, his hand came to her breast. He held it in his palm, feeling the weight of it, when he felt her take his hand off and thread her fingers through his. She placed his other hand on the opposite breast, indicating that was the one with the need. He gently, with unparalleled care, fluttered his thumb across her nipple. She made a sound that sounded like a sob and he immediately halted.
“I’m sorry, Baby. I’m so sorry,” he whispered.
“Please don’t stop. I don’t want you to stop,” she cried. He nodded, wondering if he was doing more harm than good anymore. He could only trust that she knew what she needed and that she trusted him to give it to her.