Never Far Away (The Never #2)(38)
“I remember a time when you nearly had me on a public beach. In fact, I believe you would have had me if the rain hadn’t started.” She leaned forward with her wrists still captured behind her back and her breasts pushed up against his chest, causing him to pull in a sharp breath. Her lips found his ear and she rasped, “What’s the difference?”
He growled and turned his head to nip at her throat, sucking and licking, drawing out more groans from Ella that had his blood running hot and thick through his veins.
“This difference is that on the beach we were under the cover of blankets and it was deserted. We are out in the open here and anyone could just walk out of their apartment. I won’t have anyone but me see you turned on.” He pulled on her wrists, causing her to sit up straight. “Let me take you inside. I want to be able to make love to you and it’s difficult in this truck.” He let go of her hands, but only to lace his fingers through hers.
“How is anyone supposed to argue with that?” Ella smiled at him, and gave him a small kiss before climbing off of his lap. The missing weight of her did not go unnoticed as his body ached for her to return. He managed to get himself under control enough to walk her to her apartment. He took the keys from her and opened the door. They stepped inside and he dropped his small duffle bag on the floor in the hallway. He had only been in her apartment once and it was before her memory had returned. She wasn’t technically his then, so he was able to argue away the urge to remove Kyle’s pictures from her walls. He stared at one now and as reasonable as he tried to remain, he couldn’t ignore the fact that he wanted the pictures gone.
Ella followed his eyes she walked to the picture.
“After all the years we spent together and everything we had been through, I never would have imagined that he could have put his hands on me the way he did that night.” She reached up, took the frame off the wall, and studied it for a moment. “How could I have been with someone like him? How did I not see him for who he really was?”
Porter came to stand behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders.
“People like Kyle do a good job of hiding who they really are, Ella. You saw what he wanted you to see.”
“People like him?” She asked. “What kind of person was he?”
“A sociopath with a death wish,” Porter said through gritted teeth.
Ella turned and went into the kitchen, coming back a few seconds later with a big trash bag. She threw the picture in the bag and then continued down the hall tossing every other frame with a picture of him in the bag as well. She moved quickly and her breathing was frantic. Porter began to see the panic come over her. He went to stop her and pull her into his arms.
“Babe, stop. You don’t have to do this now. Please, I’ll do it for you, just calm down.”
“I need to get him out of this house, Porter.” Her hands came up to cover her face and she breathed rapidly now. “Everything is returning, all the memories.” She buried her face in his chest and he smoothed his hand down her back, trying to help calm her. “Being with you is wonderful because we have beautiful memories, even though they are few. I am in a haze of happiness with you, Porter. But when I go back to my old life, the store, and now my own house, all the bad memories come back. I shouldn’t have to be afraid of my own life,” she cried.
“You’re right, Ella,” he said as he used his hands to pull her face level with his so she could see how serious he was. “You shouldn’t have to deal with any of this, but you are. You’re doing just fine. You just have to feel it all and deal with it as it comes. I’ll be here the whole way and we’ll get you in to talk to someone. But hear me when I say that I will never let him hurt you again, Ella. Never. You need to let that part of your fear go and give it all to me. Let me worry about that and you just let the fear go.”
“Porter,” she said, holding back tears, running her hand down his cheek. “Kyle held me up against that door behind you and tried to rape me.” Porter turned to stone at her words. He knew something else had happened between them before she was shot, but had never gotten the opportunity to talk to her about it. If he had known the whole story, he surely would have killed Kyle at the hospital when he had the chance. His fists clenched at his sides and he tried not to let himself picture what she must have gone through.
“What do you mean by ‘tried’?”
Ella took in a deep breath, looking as if she was trying to calm herself.
“He pushed me up against the door, held me there by my jaw, then he ripped… he ripped…” she let out a sob and he pulled her into his arms, shushing her and kissing her temple.
“No, Ella, it’s ok. You don’t have to tell me.”
“I do, though, Porter,” she said as she cried. “This will eat away at you just as much as it will me if it isn’t out there. I don’t want it bottled up inside me. It will poison me from the middle if I don’t tell you. Please, let me tell you.” He felt her crumbling against him and he slid her down to the floor with him. He pressed every available part of his body against hers, offering himself to her in comfort and love, hoping that she would take from him what she needed. His arms were wrapped around her shoulders, and his legs were sprawled out around the sides of her as she sat on the floor between them. She curled up into him, breathing hard and holding back sobs. He could feel the heaving of her lungs as she tried to control the eruption of emotion.