Never Far Away (The Never #2)(32)

“Not really,” she smiled at him. “I really feel like everything is going to be ok. Are you nervous?” She asked as she reached out to take his hand, anticipating his answer.

“A little. I just need to hear him tell me that you won’t lose your memory again.” She kissed his hand, trying to offer him comfort even though she knew she couldn’t tell him what he needed to hear.

They made it to the hospital and found their way through the maze, finally arriving at his office. His receptionist led them to an examination room and told them the doctor would be in shortly. Ella waited patiently on the examination table, while Porter paced the room. She could feel the anxiety coming off of him and it was starting to make her nervous, too. What if the doctor came in the room and told her it was likely she’d forget again? How could they make sure that if her memory went away she would still be a part of Porter’s life? The only thing she could think of was marriage. He’d still be a stranger to her if she forgot, but at least her family couldn’t keep him away again. Would he even want to marry her? Would she want to marry him? She smiled to herself, glad he wasn’t looking at her. Of course she would marry him. Right now if he asked. But the idea of marrying him just to safeguard against something that might not even happen didn’t sit well with her. She wanted to marry him because she loved him and when the time was right.

The door opened and Dr. Andrews walked in with a smile.

“Ella, so good to see you. I hear your memory has returned.” He shook her hand and then turned to shake Porter’s. “Mr. Masters, good to see you again too. And honestly, it’s good to see you together,” he smiled at them both. “Ella, why don’t you tell me about how your memory came back to you?”

“Ok, well, Porter and I were out hiking and I started to get a little dizzy. We started to head home but I started to get a really bad headache. It was probably more like a migraine.” The doctor was listening to her and writing notes on his notepad. “The headache got really bad and all I could do was sleep.” She looked over at Porter, realizing that she hadn’t told him the next part yet.

“I started having these really vivid dreams. Well, what I thought were dreams, turns out they were memories. They were all about Porter. And they were very real,” she coughed a little, embarrassed to remember the phantom orgasm she’d had. “Anyway, I woke up and my headache was even worse, but then I started to have what I would call a panic attack. It was like I knew something was happening, but I didn’t know what. Then, all of a sudden, I just remembered. Everything was back. The headache was gone.” She looked back at the doctor.

“Well, it sounds pretty stressful. Have you had any problems with panic or anxiety in the past?”

“No. Only during the attack at my apartment before the shooting,” at her words she saw Porter’s head snap towards her.

“So, now you also remember the attack?” The doctor asked softly. She looked down at her hands.

“Yes.”

“Ok,” the doctor said and let out a loud sigh. “Here’s my doctor speech: The brain is still a mystery to the medical field. For every one fact we know about how the brain works, we don’t know a million things. So, the best I can give you is an educated guess. It seems as though whatever connection in your brain that was damaged when you hit your head has been repaired. That might have been the headache. The pain you felt could have been your brain making the final repairs to restore that connection, which would explain why the headache went away as soon as your memory returned.

“There are very few cases of people having retro-grade amnesia. Short term memory loss is far more common. There are even fewer cases of patients with retro-grade amnesia having their memory restored. I, personally, have never treated anyone whose memory came back. You should consider yourself remarkably lucky, Ella.” His words caused Ella’s eyes to tear up. Even the doctor hadn’t had faith in the fact that she would remember. It became obvious to her in that moment that her love for Porter, and his for her, was the only thing that saved her. She looked up at Porter and his eyes mirrored her. He came to her side and wrapped his arms around her, rubbing his hand along her back, trying to sooth her.

“It’s ok, Ella. I’m right here,” Porter whispered in her ear. She took a few deep breaths and then pulled away, looking back to the doctor.

“Do you think I am ok, Dr. Andrews? Is there anything we should be worried about?”

“Well, I would like to get another CT scan today, just to check everything out and be very sure everything looks normal, which I fully expect it to. But there really isn’t anything for you to worry about. Once I heard your memory had returned, having no experience with patients in your situation, I reached out to some colleagues around the region and from what I gathered, no one has ever dealt with a patient who regained their memory and then lost it again. It seems to be, as far as we can tell, a permanent fix.” He smiled at her. “The brain is a miraculous and wonderful thing. We should trust that it will be fine from here on out.”

Ella laughed out loud with happiness and she heard Porter release a breath he must have been holding for weeks. She looked at him and had never seen such a joyful look on his face.

“So, what I remember now, I should remember forever?”

“That should be correct.” The doctor’s face went from smiling back to serious. “Now Ella, although I am convinced that your brain itself is healing nicely, I am a little concerned about your mental health. Dealing with all the memories returning, the good, the bad, and the panic that accompanied them, I think it would be a good idea for you to talk to a psychiatrist. I think it would be good for you to discuss your attack and the robbery with a professional. They can also prescribe something for the anxiety, if you would want them to.” Dr. Andrews took a business card out of his coat pocket and handed one to her and one to Porter. “It might not be a bad idea for you to talk to someone too.” Porter took the card and nodded.