Never Far Away (The Never #2)(29)
He looked over at her again and she flashed him her brilliant smile. One day he would ask her to marry him and even though he knew he wanted her for the rest of his life, he didn’t want to propose out of necessity. He knew, also, that Ella wouldn’t want that. She was convinced that she would be fine and even though he wouldn’t feel one hundred percent comfortable until they spoke to a doctor about it, he was willing to try and not let his worries affect their time together.
When his mother sat down across from them, the smile she beamed was blinding and wonderful. He knew exactly how she felt.
“So,” she began, “now what?”
“What do you mean?” He asked.
“Well, now that you’re back, Ella, how are you two going to proceed? You know, with your relationship?” Porter looked over at Ella and she returned his gaze.
“Well, Mother, nothing really has changed for us. We love each other and I am so happy that she’s back, but she still has her life in Portland and I’m here. We’ll just have to make it work, like we had originally planned.”
“I don’t like that plan anymore,” Ella said suddenly, turning to face him again.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I don’t understand why we have to be apart. There has to be a way for us to be together. You know, really together. Unless…” she paused as her eyes went wide, “unless you don’t want that. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to steamroll you right now. It all just came out.” She brought her hands up to cover her face, shaking her head in embarrassment.
To hear Ella say those words, for her to admit that she wanted to be close to him, it was everything he’d always wanted from her and never thought he’d get. She had been so unsure of their relationship before, and now she seemed eager to be together on a more permanent level.
“Babe, we don’t have to talk about this now. Let’s just enjoy dinner.”
“Why can’t you talk about it now?” Tilly interjected.
“Mom, this is a private conversation I’d like to have with Ella alone.”
“Well, if you’re thinking about sticking around here for me, don’t. I’ll be fine without you.”
“Well, ok, Mom. Tell me how you really feel about it.”
“Porter, you’ve been trying to make up for the lack of your father for twenty years now. You’ve taken such good care of me, this bar, your company, but you’ve never taken care of yourself. Don’t let your notions of obligation keep you from being truly happy. I’m just saying.”
“She has a point,” Ella said, shooting a sweet smile his way.
“Listen, I’m not saying anything either way. I just think this is a conversation best had privately.”
“Ok, just so long as you know where I stand,” Tilly added.
“Noted. Now, let’s just have a peaceful meal.”
Ella
The last thing she had wanted to do was put Porter on the spot in front of his mother or to pressure him in any way. But the thought of being separated from him again made a knot form in her stomach and her head throb. She linked her hand with his under the table, hoping to assure him that she hadn’t meant any harm. He smiled at her and her concern melted into a hot puddle that settled between her thighs. His smile was intoxicating.
“Porter?” A tallish brunette came to the side of the table Porter was sitting at and was shamelessly batting her eyelashes in his direction.
“Amy, hi.”
“Hi, sorry to interrupt your, uh, dinner,” she said as she gave Ella a disinterested glance. “I was hoping you could help me get into my car. I locked my keys inside again.”
“Um, yeah, sure,” he said as he looked back at Ella with an expression that looked a little embarrassed but mostly apologetic. “I’ll be right back, Babe.” He scooted out of the booth and led the way to the door. Ella could have sworn the brunette was checking out his backside as he walked towards the door. ‘Let her look,’ she thought, ‘he’s never been anything but mine.’
“Ella, I’m glad we have a few minutes alone. How are you doing, really?”
“I’m really good, Tilly. As soon as my memory came back, I mean, it’s like everything is right again. I was so confused for so long. I knew something was missing and I knew it had something to do with Porter, but I couldn’t figure it out.”
“He was absolutely lost without you. He was destroyed. Ella, he was wrecked. The first few weeks that you were, uh, away, it was all he could do just to get out of bed each day. He called your mother daily, sometimes he made it to work, but mostly he just fell apart.”
Ella could see the tears starting to form around Tilly’s eyes.
“A couple weeks ago, after you were out of the hospital and seemed to be doing better, he started to get out more and showing up for work regularly. But the light in his eyes was gone. He was empty.”
“I don’t want to imagine what he was going through; I just wish he had come to me sooner. I know I didn’t remember him right away, but I knew he loved me and I started to fall in love with him again. He didn’t need to be so far away,” Ella said, hating to hear about his misery without her.
“He was just trying to make everyone happy. Everyone but himself. He will forever be looking out for everyone but himself first. His tragic flaw.” Ella smiled at Tilly’s words.