Mine to Fear (Mine #3)
Janeal Falor
For Michelle
An awesome editor
and an even better cousin
Chapter One
Being in Envado when those I care for the most are stuck in Chardonia makes me want to spit. What terrors are befalling them while I'm here, unable do anything to help? Cynthia is being hidden by our rebel group. Serena is living alone, away from her sisters and mother who are once again owned by her father.
I'd like to think at least my brother Zade and Serena are happy now that they're engaged, but knowing they could have gotten engaged just a little sooner while I was there to witness it? It makes me want to spit again. And to make things even worse, Zade's previous fiancée arrived here for a visit this morning. Unfortunately, I did witness her engagement, which makes it all the more awkward.
What's worse is that Zade's previous fiancée doesn't know about Serena and Zade. I need to tell her that he chose a girl Zade formally owned over her. He didn't just give Serena her freedom, but he gave her his heart. While the two fell in love, Cynthia proved to everyone at the tournament she can do magic, and do it well. Maybe it'd be easier if I wasn't such close friends with both Serena and Zade's previous fiance. It's dreadful this is much too formal of a setting as my mother's entertaining room to spit. Plus, my mother is here, and she wouldn't put up with it.
“I'm so glad you came to visit.” The words are true enough, though they would be even more heartfelt if she already knew about the engagement.
“I should have come sooner,” Tawny says. “I'd like to use my duties as an excuse for not coming, but really, I just didn't know how long it would take you to adjust to returning home. With the things they say about Chardonia it must be a challenge.”
I'll never adjust. This no longer feels like home, even though it's safer.
“It was very thoughtful of you to take time away, Tawny.” Mom fills my silence, pouring sincerity into her words. Since my return from Chardonia last week, she knows what a pest I have been.
“How was Chardonia?” Tawny's question is sure to make Mother cringe inside, even if she doesn't show it. “Were the men as bad as everyone says?”
“No. They were worse.” Which is why I should be there, helping, instead of here having tea and biscuits in a room with pictures spelled with sparkles and a floor spelled to stay cushioned and warm.
“Will you tell me about it?” Tawny presses.
She's just like everyone else who's paraded through our entertaining room since my return, all wanting to know the gossip from Chardonia. Politicians wanting to know the state of the government, women wanting to know how much better off we are, men wanting to know how other men really behave, shop owners trying to see if there's any news on trade. All wanting something for themselves.
Except Tawny. She seems different, even if her question is the same. There's a glint in her eyes as she holds herself as if ready to jump up for a fight instead of leaning in to pick up every word to pass onto others. It would be like her. She always was ready to take action when others just wanted to talk. Perhaps it's time to really tell someone about what things are like. Lands know I'm well past wanting to.
“Mom, would you mind asking Cook to make those new treats she's learned? I'm sure Tawny would love to try them.”
“Wonderful idea, dear. I need to check on your father anyway.” She brushes a kiss to my forehead, something she's done much more often since my return. “I'll see you again soon, Tawny. Send your mother my regards.”
“I will.”
Once the door closes behind my mom, I grin at Tawny. “Mom always did like you.”
“I think she's still hoping Zade will come back for me.”
Discussing the state of Chardonia is much more preferable to this. “And is that what you want?”
She looks at her hands. “I don't know. We grew up together. We always thought we were destined to be married. It's almost expected. But since he wrote to break off the engagement… Mom isn't taking it well. Dad seems to have expected it, though.”
That doesn't answer my question about her, though. It's the perfect time to tell her about Zade's engagement. “Chardonians are horrid,” tumbles out instead.
“How so?”
“The warlocks treat the women worse than animals and those who have been tarnished, people who are spelled to be bald, inked, and barren. Then the women who they want to discard or men that have little to no magic, are taught to believe they aren't even people. They're just tools with brains.”
“Could you do anything to help?” Her eyes grow bright with interest.
“Not nearly enough.” The words feel so good to get out. “Just trying to get the women to understand their worth was a chore. I wish I was still there helping them figure it out.”
“It does sound like something worth doing.” She glances up shyly and in a whisper says, “Something I'd like to help with. Not just here yammering about things, but over there making a difference.”
Shock courses through me. I would have never guessed she would have an interest in such things. “Would you truly?”
“I would.”